Dear fellow Boomers,

My hubby has been ill for some time and has just been diagnosed with cancer. Doctors discovered a mass in his abdomen which has spread to his liver. The mass in his abdomen is pressing on his spine, leaving him unable to walk. He's due for an MRI scan today along with biopsies to see if there are any treatment options.

I'm totally broken. Please keeps us in your prayers.

Mary

Oh, Mary. I am so truly sad to hear that and send you my very best .. always ...

Love, Mad

Prayers and Hugs on the way. Wish there were more I could do.

Dear Mary, I am so very sorry to hear this. Prayers and positive thoughts heading his way and yours. Please take the time to take care of yourself too. I know you are fighting your own battles as well. Gentle hugs to you.

Ana

Oh Mary, I am so very sorry you all are walking through this. Will indeed keep you in our prayers and thoughts. Sending gentle hugs your way.

Mary, this just breaks my heart. My very sincere positive thoughts go out to you and your hubby.

Dear Mary, I am so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

Mary I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby. I'm sending prayers your way.

Your Gameboomer family is here anytime, to support you.

joe

Very sorry to read this my positive thoughts are with you and your husband!

Oh Mary, that is very sad news, my thoughts & prayers are going out to you & your hubby.

sorry to heasr this sad news about your hubby. prayers flying your way

So sorry Mary. I know how it is. I just lost two brothers to cancer in the last year.
I hope it's not too late for your husband.

I'm sending positive vibes your way.

Remi. (curly)

I'm so sorry for your sad and bad news MsMercury. Prayers and hugs to your husband and to you.

MsMercury, I'm so very sorry to hear this terrible news. With a cancer diagnosis the fear and grief can be overwhelming and it's impossible to think about anything else.

Do you have anyone close who can help for a few days with basics like cooking and driving to appointments? After my husband's cancer diagnosis I found it really helped to have someone I could rely on nearby, because I was in shock.

Mary, I'm sorry to read your heartbreaking news.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you, your husband and family at this challenging time.

Mary - so, so sorry - you're both in my prayers

Rog

MsMercury, our most positive thoughts are with you and your husband. We understand how daunting this can be, having been through it now several times. Even as overwhelming as this is, it's important that you take care of yourself as well during this time.

Take care,
TM

MsMercury, sending Prayers and positive thoughts his way and Please take care of yourself also.

Mary my hearts goes out to you as you face yet another battle in these dark times. My prayers are with you and your hubby.
Love, Hugs, and prayers for you and your family.
Gerry

Mary, sending prayers to husband, you and family in this challenging period

Mary, sending many good thoughts and prayers your way.

Dear Boomers, thank you for all your kind wishes and prayers. Hubby is still in hospital. He's been moved to a Cancer Centre in Glasgow where they discovered a mass which goes the length of his spine so he's been receiving targetted radiotherapy over 5 days for that in the hope it will give him back some mobility. At the moment he's still not able to move his legs very much. He will be returning to our local hospital tomorrow for biopsies, these will be taken from his spine and liver and a treatment plan will hopefully be put in place. He'll also receive intense physio on his legs.

I'm so thankful that he's not in any pain and has got some of his appetite back.

We speak on the phone every day; our son set up a video call for us but hubby found it too upsetting so we'll stick to phone calls. He worries constantly about me although we keep telling him everything is okay. There might be a chance that I will be able to visit him when he comes back to our local hospital.

We don't know what our future holds, we can only take one day at a time.

Thank you again for your prayers, support and friendship.

Much love,

Mary

Mary, an encouraging update ... one day at a time is a good strategy ... tomorrow is another day ... praying for you hubby family and the doctors all.

Lots and Lots of Prayers and Hugs being sent. I have been where you are, my thoughts and heart are with you.

No pain and possibly moving nearer to home. That's good to hear, Mary.

Still sending my very best to both of you and your family

Mary continued prayers and positive thoughts sent. Glad he is getting the care he needs and isn't in pain.

Thank you for the update, Mary. Positive thoughts and prayers continue.

Mary, gentle hugs and many prayers

More hugs and prayers to you all MsMercury!

prayers and hugs on the way.

I'm so glad to hear that there is a plan in place. I hope you're able to visit him soon. It must be so very difficult to be apart from him through this.

Hello Mary Im in and Out alot but I do read the Forms I too will be praying and Thinking of you - family - and all my friends here .. LUVS and

Oh Mary. I grieve with you. All I can do is offer a few words of comfort, and pray for you and your hubby.

I wish you the Best,
Albert

Hello dear Boomers, hubby is now at home with me. Biopsies confirmed he has Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. No treatment plan as yet, he will talk with the specialist next week. He still has very poor mobility but his pain is well controlled. We still don't know what stage his cancer is at, hopefully we'll find out next week but his prognosis is not very good, his doctor was talking a few months. I'm so broken by all this.

Our kids have been fantastic, they took it in shifts to look after me and now Dad's home they're keeping it going. I don't know where we'd be without them. They have given up time with their own families to look after us and we'll be forever grateful.

Thank you again for your continued prayers and support, it means so much.

Much love,

Mary

Mary, I am so very sorry to hear this news. I am glad they can control his pain and keep him comfortable at least and that your family is rallying together. Please make sure you take a moment for yourself and keep yourself healthy also as difficult as it may be. Gentle hugs, prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family.

Ana

Oh, Mary, I am so very sorry you all are going through this. Gentle hugs and prayers.

I do hope having your Husband not in pain and home with you is some consolation, Mary. And your family being such a help must absolutely be a great comfort.
You are all certainly in my thoughts

As Mad said above, you are all certainly in my thoughts, Mary.

MsMercury, I am very sorry to hear this sad news but am happy that you have a great family to help you and your husband through this all.

Mary, I'm so sorry for your sad news. Prayers, Hugs, And Positive thoughts on the way.

Mary, I'm so very sad to hear this. My husband and I are in a similar situation with his cancer. We've learned just to enjoy each day as much as we can, and we go to bed each night hoping for another tomorrow.

Please remember to take care of yourself.

Mary I'm sending all my prayers and good thoughts to you, and your husband and family.


The same for you and your husband Hagatha.


joe

Mary, I'm so sorry for your sad news, more Prayers and positive thoughts on the way, take care.

Mary & Hagatha ... I offer you my thoughts, prayers and well-wishes during this dark time in your life.

Hello dear Boomers, I hope you are all well and keeping safe. Hubby's cancer is High Grade and very aggressive but it's not all bad news. Apparently the more aggressive it is, the easier it is to treat. He's back in hospital and has had one round of intensive chemotherapy (he'll have six rounds in total, taking him up to next May). He has tolerated it well so far except for extreme tiredness. His next round will be just after Christmas. He's hoping to be discharged home either today or tomorrow. His consultant is confident that the chemo will work for him in greatly reducing the cancer and could even put him into remission which would be great! I'll take that!

Hagatha, I'm so sorry you are going through it with your husband. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Our family continue to help us out, they are stars!

Thank you all so much again for all your prayers and well wishes. They are a comfort.

Much love,

Mary

That is positive news Mary and we will keep him and you in our prayers!

That positive news holds a lot of hope for your hubby and your family, Mary!

Mary, so glad to hear he is tolerating the treatment and that this type of cancer responds well. We'll be praying that is the case

I will pray for a good response to treatment, Mary, and that your husband will be discharged and you can be with him through Christmas. Hugs to you and to your family.

I'm so glad to hear that your husband is responding well to the chemotherapy. That is such welcome news.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers MsMercury!

Really pleased to hear that news, Mary. And will keep sending you both my very best

Excellent update Ms Mary ... good news for the times ... will continue to keep you, hubby and family in my thoughts and prayers

Mary, that is very good news, continued Prayers, Positive thoughts , and Hugs on the way.

that is good news, and positive thoughts, and continued prayers on the way, as hugs.

Mary it is good to hear the treatment is helping your hubby and the doctors have the pain under control. It is wonderful you have a caring, loving family to help you both. My thoughts and prayers are with you both and your family too.
Love & Hugs,
Gerry

Hello Boomers, hubby continues to be well though his balance and mobility remain poor. His physiotherapist will visit him at home tomorrow to see what can be done to improve things. We are both looking forward to Christmas with Diana, her hubby and son.

I hope you don't mind my sharing his journey with you all. It's great to be able to 'talk' to people other than close family although I look on you all as my second family.

Thank you so much for always being there with your love and support!

Much love,

Mary

I look forward to hearing about your journey with your husband! I have done the same thing with my second husband. This was 23 years ago and there wasn't any such thing as Gameboomers for me as I didn't have a computer. But I had a journal and I wrote in it obsessively. It was my salvation, so I completely understand how sharing it and talking it through is really helpful. In fact, if you have a notebook and a pen, I'd highly recommend it! Some of my entries were made at 2:00 am and it was strange to read where my mind sometimes was at those times when I read them later!

Mary, we love to see you post, and are with you in this. Gentle hugs

That absolutely goes for me, too, Mary

Mary, do please keep us informed. That's what friends are for. Please be sure to also take care of yourself.

It certainly helps to be able to "talk" to other people. Please keep us updated and as butteflybabe said "take care of yourself" too!

I never had a journal that I wrote in but I did find that typing helped get some things out of my system and sometimes I would type myself an email or a word doc.

Continued positive thoughts and prayers for you, your hubby, and the rest of your family, Mary. It's always good to hear from you.

Prayer, Hugs, and more Positive thoughts on the way. Please keep sharing how hubby is doing and your feelings. I know it helped me. Lots of Love on the way.

Mary, I am glad you can see Diana and her family. That is wonderful. Continued prayers for your husband. We are here for you to vent, chat, find a laugh or a shoulder to cry on. Please feel free to post as often as you want.

Hello Boomers, hope you all had a great Christmas and are well and keeping safe.

We had a lovely Christmas with Diana and family, and Chris and his wife and son popped in for a short while. Hubby tired very quickly though and spent most of the day resting. Our youngest son and family came along on Sunday and hubby collapsed during their visit. He was attempting to stand to go back upstairs and his legs just wouldn't hold him. Thank God our son and grandson were there to support him. His balance and mobility remain very poor. His physio visited last week and decided he's not well enough at the moment to carry on so have postponed further therapy for the time being.

He's starting to feel the rough end of the chemo now; very tired, no energy, mood swings, a sore mouth and he needs morphine for breakthrough pain almost as soon as his eyes open in the morning. Almost everything he eats tastes 'funny'. I'm constantly trying different things to tempt his appetite with very little success. I feel so bad for him.

He attended hospital this morning to have some bloodwork done and was given some great news! His LDH (an enzyme which turns sugar into energy) numbers have dropped from over 600 to just 300, his tumours have shrunk a little and his bone marrow is coping well with the chemo...all very positive. He goes back to hospital tomorrow for 2nd round of chemo. After round 3 he will have two hospital admissions for extra treatments to boost his white blood cells and also a scan to see where things are at. He has a long road ahead of him and it's all very scary but we continue to be supported by our wonderful family.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, support and friendship Boomers!

Much love,

Mary

The chemo is going to take a toll, but that means it's working. When my husband was receiving his chemo, they gave him ice chips to hold and swish in his mouth because it would shrink the blood vessels and reduce the sore mouth issues. When he just couldn't eat anything, I made ice cream shakes for him using high protein drinks such as Boost. Not sure what brands you have in Scotland. I would pour a shake into the blender with a big scoop of ice cream and then add flavors he liked such as strawberries or chocolate. I kept them in the freezer and could just get one out to thaw whenever he just couldn't eat anything else. These felt good in his mouth and provided at least some nutrition.

Lots of Prayers, Positive thoughts, Love, and Hugs on the way.

Mary, so glad to hear the chemo is working. It does take a toll! How wonderful that you have so much support.

I hope the new year brings good results for your hubby and you!

Continued positive thoughts and prayers for you, your husband, and the rest of your family, Mary.

Mary, great that the treatments are working and hoping he can get through the side effects soon. I'm glad you had some great family time for the holidays.
How are you feeling?

Ana

Mary, my guy also has to take pain medication all the time. It keeps him relatively mobile and happy. Last year he went on Fentanyl patches full-time because the oral medications were no longer enough His cancer is in his sacrum and the base of his spine so standing up can be really painful sometimes, but the meds really help. Hopefully your husband can find a suitable dose that will keep him comfortable.

The chemotherapy can be a real trial, but if your husband's cancer is responding it's worth it, We go through ups and downs with it. Generally speaking, it's a few weeks on and then a few weeks off for my husband, based on what the latest scan and bloodwork shows. He gets time off when the scans are good, and then when the cancer markers start to rise, he goes back on.

There are times when it feels like it's all too much, but then he'll have a few good days and we can get out and do a few things or take a drive. Over the years we've learned to cope and to enjoy the good days fully. We've been living with cancer for 6 years now -- longer than anyone initially though he'd last. The new chemotherapies can be quite remarkable and people can live for a long time.

It's a tough go and I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but stay positive. Hope is very important. It's what's kept my guy going when things have been really tough.

hagatha, you just learn to take every single minute and make it worthwhile!

Mary you have all my love and support to help you and hubby thru the tough road still facing you both. I think of you and pray for you both every day. I'm so happy you had a special Christmas with Diana and family.

Immunotherapy is another treatment used in the USA to fight cancer. My sister is receiving it instead of Chemo to fight her Stage 3/4 lung cancer and it is working for her without the terrible side effects your hubby is getting with Chemo.

Take Care.

Love & Hugs,
Gerry

Gerry, I know someone whose husband is doing immunotherapy for Stage 4 lung cancer and has had great results. I am so happy to hear your sister is responding well. I've been wanting to ask, but don't want to pry.

My very best to all you folk and your families who are dealing with cancer and fighting it.
What courage you are all showing !!
I am in awe

Hello Boomers, thank you for your continued support!

Connie, oldbroad, Marian, L4L and Mad, thank you for your kind words. They are appreciated and help more than you know.

Hubby had his second round of chemo yesterday, which went well. He came home with another load of pills; steroids, of which he has to take 14 per day for 4 days, anti-sickness pills and pills to protect his stomach. He was also supplied with 6 syringes of stuff he has to take from the 9th January for 6 days. These will help to boost his white blood cells. He said he will take all they can throw at him if it means he will go into remission! I'm with him there.

Draclvr, we have Build-Up here in different flavours which can also be mixed with ice-cream. Great suggestion, thanks! He does love a strawberry milkshake. Our sons have brought him jel to rub on his gums and that has helped him greatly.

Ana, thank you! I'm feeling okay. When hubby's down, so am I. He was really down at the start of all this because he thought he should be looking after me (which he had done for two years since I lost my legs). I had to constantly fight him to let me do things around the house and he wouldn't let me near the stove. Now I do the things he wouldn't allow me to do and it's worked out fine. I always have one of the family here for 'supervision'!

Hagatha, thank you! Hubby takes morphine for 'breakthrough' pain, which can hit him up to 3 times a day but mostly in the morning just after he wakes. It does help, kicks in after 15-20 minutes. Unfortunately his balance and mobility is very poor. He loses his balance easily and has had a few tumbles. He still hasn't regained full feeling in his feet so walking is difficult and his legs are still weak. This all cancels out being able to drive his car for now, something he is keen to get back to. I'm so happy for you both that your husband is beating the odds and may he continue to do so.

Gerry, my dear friend! Thank you! I have heard of immunotherapy but I don't think it's an option for hubby at this time.
I'm happy to hear your sister is doing well on it and may she continue to do so. Keeping her in my prayers.

Once again, thank you so much guys!

Much love,

Mary

Mary - praying for a better year for you and hubby

Hugs, Rog

You are a very strong woman, Mary and I'm glad you are able to do things around the home. I think being able to accomplish things on your own boosts your own confidence and empowers you to get through this. I will continue to send positive vibes and prayers your way.

Ana

Sincerely hoping all of you have a better year, MsMercury

Keeping you, hubby and family in our prayers Ms Mary

Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and staying safe!

Not much has changed since my last update, hubby still has very little balance or mobility and he is getting very frustrated because of this. Some days he doesn't want to get out of bed as 'there's no point if I can't do anything or go anywhere'....it's very sad. I always manage to gee him up and get him up and dressed after a while. I give him a talking to which tears the heart out of me as I know he is suffering but I'm not going to let him give up. There are times when I feel I'm not coping very well myself. He is also in a lot of pain daily and is having to take more and more morphine. I will speak to our GP to see if anything can be done to help this.

He was given a 6-day course of injections which I had to administer; these were to boost his white blood cells so hopefully they will do the job. He will have more bloodwork done on Wednesday and will start his 3rd round of chemo on Thursday....3 more rounds to go. There was talk of him being admitted back into hospital at some point for scans etc but so far nothing has happened regarding this.

Our kids have been with us throughout, taking time from work to take hubby to his appointments and still taking shifts to care for us. We will never be able to thank them enough. I said as much to our youngest son and his answer was 'You and Dad looked after us for all those years'. Brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support, guys, and thanks for 'listening'!

Much love to you all,

Mary

AWwww Mary. I can understand his frustration and yours. It is good you have the strength for tough love when its needed, it is such a hard thing to do.
You are in my daily prayers.

Mary, it's so hard to do what is necessary, but your "tough love" as Ana describes it may make all the difference for him. Hang in there!

Mary, you are in our prayers. Gentle hugs to you

Thank you for keeping us updated. I'm sorry to hear that your husband is still in so much pain even with the morphine. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Always sending you both my best, MsMercury

More prayers for your husband MsMercury and hoping for a speedy recovery for your husband, and I hope that you can stay healthy and sending you extra prayers to keep up your health and strength.
And prayers to all other members with cancer or other serious illness.

Mary, more Prayers, Hugs, and Love on the way. I know how hard tough love is. Please remember to take care of yourself.

Mary your hubby is blessed to have you there doing whatever it takes to keep him from giving up. Your courage and strength are an inspiration. Sending more prayers, hope, and love for you both.
Love & Hugs,
Gerry

Hello dear Boomers, hope you are all well.

I'm not in a good place today. Hubby had his 3rd round of chemo yesterday. He was quite upbeat when he left home but very down when he came back from the hospital. Our son said he was very quiet on the journey there and back. Later on, he had a bad fall in the bathroom and couldn't get back up without help. He was very upset for most of the evening, wouldn't talk to anyone. I kept prodding though as I can't deal with silence and eventually he said he was 'done with it all'.
When I asked him what he meant, he talked about 'ending it' I'm sorry to say I lost it on hearing him say such a thing and gave him such a talking to. I can't deal with this, when everyone is doing their best for him. I know it's hard on him going through all of this but I can't allow him to give up.

Please guys, I need all the prayers you can send.

Much love,

Mary

Oh Mary, we will pray for your hubby and you most definitely ... stay close and listen with a smile or gentle touch, let him know you are always there.

Marry, I'm sending Prayers and my Love to you both. Keep strong, I know how hard it is for both of you.

Mary, my heart goes out to you. We went through this with my BIL in October. I will pray for you all.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and with your hubby and family, Mary.

Oh, Mary... this is so hard. Please don't feel guilty. Also went through this with 2nd hubby.

This breaks my heart.

My husband has been in that place a few times now, especially when the chemo hits him hard, as it does sometimes. It's very hard to watch, I know. I just try to keep him as comfortable as I can and let him know that he has all my love and support.

I'm so sorry, Mary. This is such a horrible disease.

Oh Mary, we are praying for you both. Gentle hugs

Heartfelt hugs, MsMercury. You have such a lot to cope with. I send my love and very best wishes to you both every day

Thoughts and best wishes to you both.

Sometimes it seems all you can do is hold their hand and let them know you care and are staying by their side.

Continued prayers and hugs MsMercury!

Mary I'm so sorry to hear what you both are going thru. I pray your hubby doesn't give up hope and you are able to make it thru this terrible time.

Much Love, prays and hugs ,
Gerry

Know that You are truly thought of and loved MsMecury, As I read this from the beginning know also that he is responding well because of a very Strong person such as yourself and that he is doing better because he knows he is very Loved God Bless you Both and Family .... forever in my prayers

Hello Boomers, hope everyone is well and keeping safe! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. As always, they are so appreciated.

Things were pretty dark there for a time. It took a lot out of us both. There were lots of tears and tough love given.

I phoned hubby's GP, who reviewed all his meds and questioned why he was taking codeine along with morphine. I told him this was on the orders from the consultant at the hospital. Well, apparently these two drugs should not be taken together. I had to keep a diary for a week and record hubby's doses of both drugs. After giving the GP the information, he replaced the codeine with Zomorph, a slow-release dose of morphine, to be taken twice a day, twelve hours apart. He can still take Oramorph when required for 'break-through' pain.

Well, there was such a difference almost straight away. For the first time in weeks hubby slept through the night. His mood has been much better and he doesn't require as much Oramorph as he used to. He's eating better as well. He's taking more interest in what's going on too. The only problem is his mobility and balance which remains very poor. As he can't have physio at the moment, I have ordered a leg excersizer which he can use sitting in his chair and it will fit comfortably under his desk. I have to do something to try to build up strength in his legs. He's very keen to try it out as he's very frustrated at not being able to walk.

He had a CT scan done last week to check on his progress. He had his COVID jab yesterday and has his next round (4th) of chemo next Thursday. He will have blood work done on Wednesday, and will hopefully get the CT results then too.

I want to thank you all again for your support and for letting me share this with you. You don't know how much it helps.

Forever grateful and much love,

Mary

Mary, good on you for being so proactive on your husbands care and not just accepting the one doctors order. You are your hubbys angel! What great news that he is coming out of that dark place and willing to fight again! Bless your heart!

Prayers and positive thoughts!
Ana

Well-done, Mary! I also found out when my 2nd husband was undergoing chemo, it is necessary for US to be pro-active and question anything that doesn't seem right! Sounds like he has an excellent GP and things just might be looking up! If his attitude is better, that's half the battle right there.

That is great news MsMercury regarding the meds! Good for you questioning everything! I wish I had known the right questions to ask and who to ask them of when my sister was in the hospital.

Way to go Ms Mary

You remind me of WOM who is very proactive too!

You keep asking questions and I'll you both in my prayers!

Mary, I'm so glad the medication switch has been helpful.

As Draclvr said, we do have to be our own advocates. Here in BC we have world-class cancer care but even so, we've had to watch out for ourselves and have caught medical mistakes several times, including referrals that never got made (to the spinal surgeon in Vancouver who was to remove the tumor!) and medication increases that never happened, or medication conflicts.

I'm really careful about everything now and have become the gatekeeper for John's pain medication because he forgets to take them, or ends up taking a double-dose and spend the rest of the day in a deep fog. I jump in and question the doctors all the time now, just to be sure we're all on the same page.

Since his pain medication has been properly regulated he's much more alive and I feel as though I've got more of him than I've had for the last 8 months.

Mary, that is great news. So good that you are there to watch out for your hubby at a time when it is difficult for him to do for himself.

Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and keeping safe!

Thank you guys for your support which always gives me a much needed lift.

Ana, thank you! Hubby did indeed show some fighting spirit for a few days but seems to be slipping back again. It's taking all I have to try to get him to change his mind set. He still can't see any benefit in all of this. He thinks he will never be able to walk again but I'm not accepting that. The leg excersizer arrived and he has been using it every day with some coaxing from me.

Draclvr, thanks! He does have a great GP thankfully. It's an ongoing battle to keep his attitude positive.

Thanks oldbroad, L4L and soot!

Hagatha, I have to watch over him like a hawk to be sure he takes his meds when he's supposed to. One good thing is he hasn't needed the Oramorph for break-through pain as much.

Hubby went for bloodwork on Wednesday followed by round 4 of chemo onThursday. He got the results from the CT scan which showed a significant reduction of the mass on his spine. His white blood count is also excellent. I just wish he could see all the positives.

Thank you all again for your love and support guys. It means the world.

Much love,

Mary

Thank heavens he has you! My sister had the same struggles with her husband to keep his mind on "the other side" of this battle. It was tough, but he finally DID get to the other side. He lived for 14 more years and got to see 2 new grandchildren born and watch them grow up. He always said my sister was the only reason he made it!

MsMercury - I haven't posted for a while but I also applaud you pushing doctors to get things straightened out.

Don't know much more to say that doesn't echo everyone else has expressed. I've been with and witnessed friends much younger than myself deal with the cancer monster. No fun for anyone.

Be sure to take care of yourself.