It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap—FIX IT!!! —

~Lewis Black~
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Great Customer Service


If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

Recording on an Australian tax help line
~~

My friend, an intern, was given $50 to get the chairman of the bank some lunch. Told to get himself something, he bought a shirt.

Source: storify.com
~~

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. “Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked. “Yes,” I said. “They hurt my 
feelings.”

A. P., via e-mail
~~

My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I 
use it as both. When not in use, it 
is prominently displayed in a 
decorative ceramic utensil caddy 
in my kitchen. The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at 
a rummage sale.

It’s a pooper-scooper.
~~

Girl: Ick! Why does this sandwich have bacon on it? Friend: You ordered a BLT. Girl: Whaaaat?

I thought the B stood for bread.
~~

While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back 
in 20 minutes. The woman asked, 
“Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”
~~

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine. “I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.

“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”
~~

Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence. Me: You mean … the period? Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it
~~

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
~~

As the hostess at the casino 
buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my 
husband, who would be joining me 
momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly ...” She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”
~~

I guess this is what happens after you’ve worked at the same place for a while. I was eating at a fast-food restaurant when an employee began his shift by walking into the kitchen area and calling out, “Honey, I’m home!”
~~

Before google, there were librarians. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries: • A woman wanted “inspirational material on grass and lawns.” • “Who built the English Channel?” • “Is there a full moon every night in Acapulco?” • “Music suitable for a doll wedding to take place between a Shirley 
Temple doll and a teddy bear.” • “Can the New York Public Library recommend a good forger?”
~~

Honest Brand Slogans

Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by 
a corporation.”

Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”

CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know you didn’t read the book.”

Gillette: “We’re just going to keep adding blades.”

ChapStick: “You’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.”

Hot Pockets: “Every bite is a different temperature.”
~~

Client to designer: “It doesn’t really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue.”
~~

Don’t get upset if I ask you 
where something is in Target when you choose to wear a red shirt and khakis to shop. Humorist Reid Kerr
~~

A woman called our airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
~~

Hello my friends.


Ready for some fresh jokes?


Man! We are half way through December already. I guess that means there's a whole half left, and then we're in 2021.


I had to figure out how to use that 'Happy New Year' smiley before Jan 1st.


Well I have been trying to catch up on some personal health issues before the end of the year. Although, I don't really know what the hurry is. I've been putting them off for more than a few years already.


Anyway I got my eyes tested, because I really need glasses that are not so scratched up that I can't see through them. The Optometrist lady told me I really need to consider cataract surgery. I told her that didn't sound very optimistic.


Today I called the dentist office and said I need a cleaning before the end of the year. She said that the only opening she has left is for 8:40..........in the morning. So I guess I'll get my teeth cleaned in the morning at 8:40.


The funny this is that she first asked me if I prefer a morning or afternoon appointment. Big smile.


Have a fantastic week everyone.


joe

Joe, that is funny when they ask you and only have one left. Have fun

Joe, good on you for getting all your doc and other needs in! I am so far overdue for maintenance on myself.

L4L, hope all is well by you!

Howdy all! Things have been really hectic, lots to prep for with the holidays. The whole family extended will be over on Saturday for our annual Christmas party so there has been lots to prep. The week after is immediate family Christmas. Where has this year gone!

Have a good day everyone!

Good morning, enjoy the day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Good afternoon everyone

Connie, I had a Danish to go this morning on my way in to work

Ana, the year went South with the pandemic ... have fun with family and stay safe

Hey Ho Joe ... yes, I imagine initial scheduling greetings can be ironic when they look and find only one option available

L4L

Hope you all have a great evening

same thing.

Good morning, enjoy the day. Ana, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. Dinner and Karaoke with friends tonight. All safety precautions taken. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash browns, Sausage and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Good morning Connie and Boomers everywhere.

to our wonderful and much loved moderator Ana! Have a an awesome day Ana.

It's cold here this morning, but we're headed up to a scorching 45 degrees later.

I was going to order groceries from Walmart on line again and pick them up, but I guess this program is so successful for Walmart that there were absolutely no time slots all day long that I could pick up my order, AND there were also no times available to have them delivered. I guess I'll just have to get my groceries the old fashioned way.

I needed a reason to get out of the house anyway. I did go get my teeth cleaned yesterday though. It only took a half day. They had to go through the whole new customer assessment regimen since it has been so long since I was there. My bad.

Needless to say, it is pretty urgent that I get back in there for some other needed procedures.

Connie thank you for keeping the diner open and stocked with fresh, wholesome, and delicious dishes served in a warm and safe manner.

Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll

I woke up early and have been in the kitchen cleaning out cupboards. The cleaning bug doesn't strike me often so when it does, I honor it.

Hope you all are having a wonderful day

Good afternoon everyone

Family enjoy your day

Connie, have fun with friends tonight at Eagles ... stay safe

Joe, we've got cold and rain although I think the rain is done for the day

Have a wonderful afternoon everyone

same thing.

Good morning, enjoy the day. I think I need to start wrapping Christmas presents, as next week will be busy. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Hello Boomers, just stopping by to say 'Hi' and wish you all a great day. Hope you are all well and staying safe.

Diana's youngest son had Covid recently and was pretty ill for a time and we all had to be tested. Luckily all our tests were negative. He's on the mend now and back at work.

Hubby is not doing so well today. He's been very sick and in a lot of pain and his pain meds took a while to kick in. Yesterday he lost his balance and took a tumble. My heart hurts to see him so ill. He will have his next round of chemo on 5th January.

Are you all ready for Christmas? I managed to get all my grocery shopping done online yesterday from two different stores. One will deliver today but I will have to wait until Sunday to get the rest from the other. Things will not be the same this year but we will make the best of it.

Much love to you all!

Mary

same thing.

Good evening everyone

Oh the memories Connie ... I'll have a little bit of wrapping to do for sure given the two gifts I have, but no where near the volume we used to have every and having to wait until all kids in bed asleep before starting ... I'm up for some eggs, Bacon Biscuits and Gravy in the NC for dinner tonight

Mary, glad to hear Diana's youngest is on the mend from Covid ... it affects so many in so many different ways ... keeping you and hubby in my thoughts and prayers

Family, which channel are you watching Perry Mason on?
Good day at work today ... both home and the office, with a first and ten do it again tomorrow, but, with the caveat that tomorrow is TGIF
Have a wonderful afternoon everyone

Good morning, it's TGIF. Christmas party at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.

Good morning T.G.I.F. Connie ... sounds like a fun time at Eagles tonight ... don't get too rowdy and stay safe
L4L
Have a wonderful day everyone

Fantastic Friday ya'll

It's COLD in Al. But, the sun is out. The sky is blue. We are supposed to see 50 today, so I'm hoping the wind will stay down a bit and I can go out for a walk. Right now just touching the door handle makes me shiver. I truly have southern blood.

No fires for us for 5 days while the grout in the fireplace dries. It may be warm by then.

Hope you are all having the most wonderful day

Weather is soooo goofy! Been cold but sunny most days. Next week, 42 on Weds is supposed to plunge to 17 and 15 on Christmas Eve and Day, then back up to 30s again.
I just wonder if Mother Nature is changing just for Santa

sports and chores.

Hello Boomers, just stopping by to say 'Hi' and to wish you all a great Saturday! Will be making Christmas cards for the family today.

Much love,

Mary

Good morning, enjoy the weekend. Making a Ham, and working the kitchen at the Eagles tonight. Trivia to follow our dinner. The Christmas party was a big success. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Good morning Boomies and welcome to the weekend!!

I've been waiting so long for this weekend. It seems like at least 5 days.

Good morning Ms Mary, It's always great to see you here. Sending warm wishes for you, and your hubby and family.

Connie I'll have my usual please. It's overcast and drizzly this morning and the sausage gravy on biscuits is a perfect comfort food for such a day.

Have a super weekend everyone, and stay safe.

joe

Good morning everyone

Weekend chores and projects on the docket ... and then some quiet time later today

Will be off to the park with Soot and WOM here shortly to exercise as I slept in this morning

Hello Mary ... so good to see you ... enjoy making Christmas cards

Connie, trivia night at Eagles sounds like fun ... I'm up for eggs, grits, bacon, biscuits and gravy in the NC

Joe, you and me both have been waiting for this weekend ... looking forward to sunshine this afternoon at the park
L4L

Have a great Saturday everyone

football and chores.