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Jokes. May 3 (Hints) #1246726
05/03/21 02:30 AM
05/03/21 02:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Take a couple if you wish.

-1. I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a s---- of them. The first one is on the h----.

-2. The best time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s c---.

-3. I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah. I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a f---
o--.’

-4. I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take s-------- for it.

-5. This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a f---?’

-6. Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note, it said
‘p------ f---.’

-7. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he l---- them with, but I’ve been t------g all day.

8. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a s---e.

-9. I told the Inland Revenue I don’t owe them a penny. I live by the s--s--e.”

-10. I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked S--- W---- and the S---- D------.

-11. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little l------.

-12. My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange?” I said: “-- -- d----'-!”

-13. The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job. Especially if you’ve got h-- f----.

-14. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “We don’t serve your t---!” shouts the barman.

-15. I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the w--- on the s-----?”

-16. How do you get two whales in a car? Start in E------ and drive w---.

-17. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little m------s around the house.

-18. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop g---- t----.

-19. Just received a card full of rice. It’s from U---- B--.

-20. Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one in f---- of the t--------n.

lol

Last edited by curly; 05/04/21 06:04 AM.

If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246728
05/03/21 02:52 AM
05/03/21 02:52 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Online content
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Online Content
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
3. Fast one

4. Something lol Hi Curly wave

Bernie monky

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246729
05/03/21 02:56 AM
05/03/21 02:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks Bernie.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246730
05/03/21 03:35 AM
05/03/21 03:35 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 17,999
Chicago
oldbroad Offline
Graduate Boomer
oldbroad  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 17,999
Chicago
2. cast

11. lighter

I hope all is well with you curly! wave

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246732
05/03/21 03:46 AM
05/03/21 03:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Yes it is ob, and I hope the same for you. Stay safe.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246733
05/03/21 04:11 AM
05/03/21 04:11 AM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 867
MA
jboliver Offline
Settled Boomer
jboliver  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 867
MA
5. fret wave2

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246734
05/03/21 05:16 AM
05/03/21 05:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Merci jb.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246739
05/03/21 07:02 AM
05/03/21 07:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,755
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
OrleansBelle Offline
BAAG Specialist
OrleansBelle  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,755
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
1 - stack ; house

10 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves


Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246744
05/03/21 07:14 AM
05/03/21 07:14 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
Graduate Boomer
Redz  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
12. no it doesn't wave2

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246748
05/03/21 08:45 AM
05/03/21 08:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 48,230
near Yosemite
Marian Offline
Global Moderator
Marian  Offline
Global Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 48,230
near Yosemite
6. parking fine wave2

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246751
05/03/21 08:58 AM
05/03/21 08:58 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246756
05/03/21 10:07 AM
05/03/21 10:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,006
Ohio
michele rose Offline
Graduate Boomer
michele rose  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,006
Ohio
7. laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day wave

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246759
05/03/21 10:09 AM
05/03/21 10:09 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
Cue Offline
Graduate Boomer
Cue  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
16. England / west lol Morning Curly


Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246768
05/03/21 11:59 AM
05/03/21 11:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,847
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
Addicted Boomer
butterflybabe  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,847
Mt Prospect, Illinois
13. hay fever

14. type


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246769
05/03/21 12:17 PM
05/03/21 12:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Merci all. Hi Cue.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246778
05/03/21 04:33 PM
05/03/21 04:33 PM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
Graduate Boomer
Redz  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
15. What's the word on the street wave

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246788
05/03/21 07:20 PM
05/03/21 07:20 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,006
Ohio
michele rose Offline
Graduate Boomer
michele rose  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,006
Ohio
18. going there snicker

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246790
05/03/21 07:23 PM
05/03/21 07:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 17,999
Chicago
oldbroad Offline
Graduate Boomer
oldbroad  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 17,999
Chicago
19. Uncle Ben laugh

Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246793
05/03/21 10:17 PM
05/03/21 10:17 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,591
The Garden State
LadyKestrel Offline
Adept Boomer
LadyKestrel  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,591
The Garden State
20. in front of the television


Carpe chocolate.
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246794
05/03/21 11:16 PM
05/03/21 11:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 6,393
Long Beach, Australia
flotsam Offline
Staff Reviewer
flotsam  Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 6,393
Long Beach, Australia
17. messages


Quantity has a quality all of its own
Re: Jokes. May 3 [Re: curly] #1246795
05/04/21 01:37 AM
05/04/21 01:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 (Hints) [Re: curly] #1246796
05/04/21 02:52 AM
05/04/21 02:52 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Online content
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Online Content
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
9. Seaside lol wave

Bernie monky

Re: Jokes. May 3 (Hints) [Re: curly] #1246797
05/04/21 05:00 AM
05/04/21 05:00 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Morning Bernie.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. May 3 (Hints) [Re: curly] #1246798
05/04/21 05:25 AM
05/04/21 05:25 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
Graduate Boomer
Redz  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
8. stage wave2

Re: Jokes. May 3 (Hints) [Re: curly] #1246799
05/04/21 06:04 AM
05/04/21 06:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,940
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
That's it Joan. Have a great day.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
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