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The Day Before Tuesday's Diner #824599
07/22/12 08:20 PM
07/22/12 08:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,889
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,889
Calera, Oklahoma
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The maid did not show up for work so the house wife called her in an angry voice and scolded her.

"What is wrong with you? If you were not to come you should have told me."

The Maid explained, “Ma’am I had already announced on my facebook page that I was taking a trip to Mexico for a week to see my family. Ma'am you should remain updated on Facebook. If you still had a question then you should have asked."

Wife: "So you are on Facebook too?"

Maid: "Ma’am who is not? Every time I announce on Facebook your husband sends me well wishes, sympathy and help. This time he said have a nice trip home, enjoy and comeback soon as I will miss you. He pleaded, please save me from my wife’s cooking."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We got to a point in our relationship where she asked me for a reason for her to stay with me...

I told her I was like her handbag and that I complimented her shoes...

She said I never complimented her shoes...she was right, I never complimented her shoes. Her shoes were manure. So was her handbag...we broke up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient. "This is good news. It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart."

The patient is pleased. He asks, "What were their jobs?"

"One was a teacher and the other was an accountant." "I'll take the accountant's heart," says the patient. "I want one that hasn't been used."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.

'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Year's Resolutions for HIM and HER

Her - Lose weight / Go on a diet / Drink more water
Him - One case beer per weekend (unless having guys over or Superbowl weekend)

Her - ONLY one chocolate bar per week
Him - ONLY three nights at topless bar per week

Her - Workout - Jog/Step Bench 5 times week
Him - Move furniture to find lost little black book and bedroom TV remote

Her - Subscribe to Shape/Fitness Magazine
Him - Call 1-800 number to get on Victoria's Secret catalog mailing list

Her - Go on romantic second date with Bob/Accounting
Him - Score on second date with Suzy/Marketing

Her - Get organized/clean house
Him - Give old Penthouse mags to Goodwill (or younger brother)

Her - Buy new Daily Planner
Him - Buy new little Black Book if no luck under furniture

Her - Find out name of tall good-looking guy in Finance
Him - Score with tall, long-legged Blond in Finance

Her - Read More / Less TV
Him - Buy Dish - More sports channels!!

Her - Watch quality TV with positive messages
Him - When surfing DO NOT stop on "Allie McBeal" -EVER

Her - Plan budget / Save more money
Him - Only three nights at topless bar per week


duh WHUT?? It's only 5 months away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Knock knock
Who's there?
Howe-wenwat-wai
How, when, what, why, who?
You ask too many questions! Forget it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The leading couple of this joke consists of a husband and a wife. The wife has just taken a shower and comes out wrapped in a towel, still shy being newly wed.

"Well, I've seen you naked. You don't need that towel," says the husband.

"I just feel more comfortable this way," the wife responds.

"But I want to take a picture of you in a natural state," continues the husband.

The wife gets suspicious and asks what the husband would do with the photo. "I'll put in in my wallet and keep it close to my heart all the time," he responds, and gets his picture then heading for shower himself. He returns clean but also wrapped in a towel.

"Why are you wearing that towel now - I want a photo of you in return," demands the wife. The Husband does as he's told, the photo's taken and they check the result in their digital camera.

"What will you do with this photo of me, then?" asks the husband.

The wife takes a good look at her husband, then the photo, then husband again. "I'll have it enlarged," she finally responds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover

1. You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
3. Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
4. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
5. You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
6. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
7. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
8. Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
9. You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
10. Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"Happy New Year


Five months. wink
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie, and an early Happy New Year. snicker

Let's see now, what comes after Sunday Funday?

Never mind.

Not sure I wanna know anyway.

I do know this. Only two more days for them, before I get my two days. woot

Then.......I get to start moving. rah

I've been waiting for this all my life.

FINALLY, a place of my very own. penguin

It'll be a true man cave. A real chick pad. puppy

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

... pacify Mommy

Ok have a happy day everyone. wink

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 07/22/12 08:24 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824603
07/22/12 08:54 PM
07/22/12 08:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,382
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,382
In the Naughty Corner
lol I am sure your sis would be happy to be with you. Does she have a new place yet?
No cats are going with you are they?

Have a great day Joe and all.

I am not sure what I will do today except run the dogs and wait for the mattress delivery. Ahhhh.....a good night's sleep is in the horizon.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824608
07/22/12 09:55 PM
07/22/12 09:55 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 23,906
Unionville
manxman Offline
True Blue Boomer
manxman  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 23,906
Unionville
Thanks for the laughs Joe. smile
Hope everyone has a great start to their week wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824616
07/22/12 11:11 PM
07/22/12 11:11 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific day Joe, Ana, manxman and all who come in after me. wave

I'm posting at night again, just in case I don't have time in the morning, which is very likely. Work went well today. Everything went smoothly and was finished on time. thumbsup

Now I have to go back and do different projects tomorrow. grin I didn't get enough sleep last night, but I did manage to get a nap in today. thumbsup Hopefully, that will help me feel more alert tomorrow as well.

Okay, off to sleep now. Have a terrific Monday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824623
07/23/12 12:54 AM
07/23/12 12:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe, Ana, manxman,Venus
and all who come in after me. wave
Have all a great Monday happydance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: Haroula] #824629
07/23/12 02:51 AM
07/23/12 02:51 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Venus,manxman,Haroula. Coffee is on and strong,enjoy the day all.


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824633
07/23/12 03:26 AM
07/23/12 03:26 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,185
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,185
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, manxman, venus, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe happy dreams. Ana a comfortable mattress can be heavenly! Manxman hope you have a good day too. Venus don't work to hard! Haroula stay cool! Cailyn hope all is going well with you and your family. A Happy Day wished for all! wave


Gerry
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824639
07/23/12 05:26 AM
07/23/12 05:26 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I have another split shift today. I hope you all have a great Momday. Thanks Joe for your openers. Hi Ana, manxman, venus, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, Gail when you come in, and everyone who follows me in. They're forecasting rain sometime today, then, back up into the 90's. Here we go again.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824640
07/23/12 05:28 AM
07/23/12 05:28 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope your two days of work goes by quickly so you can get to moving.

Ana, sweet dreams on your new mattress tonight.

Manxman, have a good day.

Haroula, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Venus, hope you feel well rested today.

Cailyn, I'll have some of the strong coffee.

Gerry, happy day to you also.

Nothing on the agenda for me today. I'll just go with the flow of whatever the day brings. Wishing all Boomers a great day!


Gail
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824642
07/23/12 05:38 AM
07/23/12 05:38 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,897
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,897
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, we've had a memory foam mattress for several years and love it. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish and Blueberry Pancakes in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824666
07/23/12 08:53 AM
07/23/12 08:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning everyboomie.

It is hot and muggy out this morning. The next three days are going to be 104. We have been taking Cory right after breakfast.

I need to do some treadmill then play and read today. Just try to keep cool.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Bets wave


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: connie] #824667
07/23/12 08:53 AM
07/23/12 08:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,449
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,449
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Congratulations on your new place! Hope your Day Before Tuesday is super duper!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824688
07/23/12 10:05 AM
07/23/12 10:05 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,343
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,343
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Hubby came up and got me a bit ago. Daughter called to say she is feeling ill so they will be here tomorrow instead.

I plan some sipping, some surfing, some cleaning, and some playing. Son is at work and hubby took a day off.

Back later wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824694
07/23/12 10:27 AM
07/23/12 10:27 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,382
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,382
In the Naughty Corner
rotfl I had to read your post twice L4L. I thought you said soot came up and bit you. lol I hope daughter feels better. hearts

manxman, have a great day!

Venus, hope that everything goes smoothly.

Haroula, is today a work day?

Sue, I'll have a cup when I finish running the dogs. thanks

Gerry, wishing you a happy day too!

Midgie, we are supposed to hit 100 today. Think cool thoughts! How is you sis, mom and BIL doing?

Gail, I hope something fun comes your way today.

Connie, I am happy to hear good reports on the foam mattresses. I am looking forward to trying it out. Is your pool fixed yet?

Bets, stay cool! Mojitos in the gazebo is my suggestion. grin

Darlene, safe skooshing!

Off to the river with the dogs.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824710
07/23/12 11:40 AM
07/23/12 11:40 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 14,334
West London, UK
JennyP Offline
Adept Boomer
JennyP  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 14,334
West London, UK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH. Blah work yuk blah. Too much work due to everyone stocking up for the Olympics. The torch comes by early tomorrow before work so I will go & see it.
Off now to have a sit down then clean the kitchen floor. Or maybe a sit down followed by another sit down ...


When in doubt, cuddle a catcatrub
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824715
07/23/12 12:02 PM
07/23/12 12:02 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Well been a busy morning and now it is time for a busy afternnon too. Want to stop and say HI to everybody and wish all a wonderful day!

wave
Nan

Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824745
07/23/12 01:48 PM
07/23/12 01:48 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer
3dobermans  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
Good Morning; sunny but temp was 51 degrees at 5 a.m. Have a to-do list but can't seem to find it, so may just have to game the day away.

Time for a bite of lunch so may all have a great start to the week.


Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824750
07/23/12 02:14 PM
07/23/12 02:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,343
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,343
Alabama
Ana, I had to go back and see what I'd written rotfl Have fun with the dogs.

JennyP, take lots of pictures. I vote for the sit down after the sit down. puppy

Nan, I hope at least some of the "busy" is fun.

Trippy, do you guys have sun? How are all the critters?

Soot and I have been cleaning and dusting areas we usually don't. It's amazing how much dust is in this house as the doors and windows are seldom open and the AC has been running 24/7 since March.

We are nearly done though. Will vac tomorrow. I still have to settle on the week's menus so I can get the GF ingredients but other than that, we are done.

MIL told hubby about a neat way to cook fresh corn. Hubby told me and we tried it. Holy Moly....it's so easy. You toss the corn still with the silk and in the husk into the microwave for 5 minutes per ear. When you take it out, you cut off the stem end (bottom) and then squeeze it from the top like toothpaste. The ear slides out...the silk stays in. happydance Needless to say, I am now full of yummy Peaches and Cream corn.

Back in a bit wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #824752
07/23/12 02:20 PM
07/23/12 02:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Originally Posted By: BrownEyedTigre
rotfl I had to read your post twice L4L. I thought you said soot came up and bit you. lol


Ana, I read it the same way also. lol

Mojitos sound great, but not the gazebo. It is already 102.4


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824759
07/23/12 03:15 PM
07/23/12 03:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,194
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,194
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers wave

Another hot one here today. It seems like everyday is 90 degrees plus. eek


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824767
07/23/12 03:45 PM
07/23/12 03:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824783
07/23/12 04:47 PM
07/23/12 04:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,343
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,343
Alabama
Quest, it's beyond hot here. Stay cool! wave

Night Haroula, sleep well sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824785
07/23/12 05:10 PM
07/23/12 05:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer
3dobermans  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
L4L, all critters doing good though bored from some of the very hot weather.
Took Rebel for a mile walk and he kept trying to jump grasshoppers; not sure who jumped higher, the grasshopper or the dog.
Will try to walk one of the others later after I rest my feet.

Be back.


Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824798
07/23/12 06:27 PM
07/23/12 06:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,382
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,382
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies. It's been a busy day. Not going as I planned at all.

Sam and I are trying to find an affordable restaurant for Sam's rehearsal dinner. We aren't doing so well. lol I am looking up places and she is calling. After a frustrating few hours. I think it's going to be a pizza party.

Be back...dinner beckons.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: The Day Before Tuesday's Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #824814
07/23/12 07:58 PM
07/23/12 07:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Ana I'll come to your pizza party smile


Just do it.
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