Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
A Catholic priest, a doctor, a rich businessman and an Italian guy from New York were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Italian guy from New York fumed, 'What's with those jerks? We're waiting fifteen minutes between shots!'
The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'
The rich businessman called out, 'Move it, time is money!'
The Catholic priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!' said the priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything that he might be able to do for them.'
The rich businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the firefighters union in honor of these brave souls!'
The Italian guy from New York said, 'Why the heck can't they play at night?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is pretty amazing---the mind just takes over and sees the numbers as the missing letters.
I've seen this with the letters out of order,
but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers.
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this,
you have a strong mind. You maybe can forget about Alzheimer’s.
7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
Alz who??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'.
'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I have some nice clean unsalted peanuts for everyone to munch on at breakfast.
I know you'll love them.
Another week, and the day after yesterday rolls around again.
Is it any wonder we all suffer from dé·jà vu?
It seems like I dismember saying that same thing before under the exact same circumstances.
Have a happy day everyone.
I know I've said that before.
joe
acebook
witter
Cailyn thanks for the coffee! Hope all is well with you. Happy Day all! 
Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thursday. Cinnamon Buns and Danish in the NC. 
Have an easy peasy day!
I sure hope he is wrong.
