Henceforth I ask not good fortune. I myself am good fortune.
Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)
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A Fishy tale.
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck.
Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold; he is turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.
"Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked. "Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've
changed.".....................
.........."I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe a mistook him for John. She said, 'I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.'
Joe thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, 'Heck no in fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.
I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle. 'The old lady fainted.
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This guy met a woman at a bar and she took him home to have sex. Afterwards when he is getting dressed, he sees a picture of some guy on her dresser.
He asks her who the picture is of and she replies, "Don't worry about it."
He then says, "Well is that your husband?"
She says that it is not.
"Well, is that your boyfriend?"
Again she says no.
The guy then says, "Well then, who the heck is it?"
She replies, "It was me before my operation."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A san diego patrolman pulled over a driver and told him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5000 in a safety competition. "what are you going to do with the money? "the officer asked.
"i guess i"ll go to driving school and get my license, " the man answered.
"don't listen to him," said the woman in the passanger seat. "he's a smart alect when he is drunk."
This woke up the man in the back seat, who saw the cop and said, "i knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
Then there was a knock from the trunk, and a voice asked in spanish, "are we over the border yet?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After being married for 27 years this guy tells his wife that he is bored and is going to the bar to have a drink.
As he enters the bar this gorgeous blond call him over. She says instead of you staying down here and drinking why don't you come upstairs to my apartment and we can drink and have sex all night. He is dumbfounded but decides to go.
After a night of drinking and crazy sex he falls asleep and when he awakes he looks at the clock and says . O my god it's 3:00 A.m. I must go . It was great but you know I'm a married man and I don't want my wife to find out about this. She says don't worry it was just a one night stand. As he is leaving he says thank you and then asks her if she had any powder. She gives him the powder and he rubs it on his hands. He then leaves to go home.
As he opens the door his wife is standing there all pissed off. She says "and where were you", He replies I was at the bar and I met this gorgeous woman and she invited me up to her place for drinks and a night of wild sex. She says "let me see your hands" He put out his hands and she says "STOP LYING TO ME YOU WENT BOWLING DIDN'T YOU?"
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Good morning everyboomie.
IT'S FRIDAYYYY!
Don't know why I'm so happy, I have to work today AND tomorrow.
Gotta be across the river for a donation this morning. I'm donating blood.
There's a very sick vampire that needs it bad, or badly, I not sure which.
I need to go by the blood bank first. I've been saving for a rainy day.
I'm going over early because I can't have any breakfast...or coffee, until after I've given my blood, so I'm hoping they'll get me in earlier if I sit there staring with my big puppy dog eyes, and wag my tail.
Since I'm getting up early I need to get myself to bed like NOW!!!
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Coffee is ready!
To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Off to look for some more Halloween decorations today. 
I love decorating for Halloween and Christmas. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Cinnamon Buns, in the NC. 
She's on the mend but it will be a long road. When my kids hurt, I hurt.
