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Jokes.(Hint) #918629
10/14/13 01:22 AM
10/14/13 01:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Happy Thanksgiving to all Canadians.

-1.How did St. John get a black eye?

He called St. Francis "- s----."

-2.Walking past the big wooden fence around the insane asylum, a guy hears everyone inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
His curiosity piqued, he finds a hole in the fence and looks inside.
All of a sudden a finger shoots through the hole and pokes out his eye, and the inmates start wildly chanting,
"--------!--------!--------!"

-3.A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
"I went to get a haircut," was the reply.
"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?"
"Because," the gentleman said, "I d---'- -ee- --e --e-."

-4.After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The m------ of --e---"

5.Kids advice to kids:
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her b---h y---
h--r.

-6.Remi was standing on the green,waiting to putt,when a ball
sailed through the sky and hit him square on the head. The
three men he was playing with grabbed his arms to prevent
him from falling.Meanwhile, the golfer who had hit the wild
shot came rushing up to the green, worried sick.Before he
could say anything,Remi told him,"I'm going to sue you for
five million dollars!"
"B-b-b-u-u-t," stuttered the man,"I yelled fore!"
Remi quickly replied,"f--- -'-- ---e --!"

-7.How does the guy who drives the snowplow -e- to ---- --
--e m------?

-8.Medical definition: DILATE: To l--e a l--- ---e.

-9.Medical definition: INTESTINE - Currently t----g an e---

-10.Medical definition: PAP SMEAR - To s----e- y--- f---e-.

Last edited by curly; 10/15/13 06:11 AM.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918633
10/14/13 02:45 AM
10/14/13 02:45 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,311
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Offline
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,311
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
2. "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen" lolGood morning Curly and happy Thanksgiving wave thumbsup

Bernie happydance

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918636
10/14/13 02:56 AM
10/14/13 02:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks Bernie.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918646
10/14/13 04:40 AM
10/14/13 04:40 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,348
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,348
Marlborough USA
1. A sissy"
Happy Thanksgiving curly!


Gerry
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918648
10/14/13 05:24 AM
10/14/13 05:24 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good one. Thanks Gerry.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918650
10/14/13 05:50 AM
10/14/13 05:50 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,166
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
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Redz  Offline
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Posts: 16,166
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
10. to slander your father. wave

Happy Thanksgiving, Remi. What's for dinner? grin

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918653
10/14/13 06:56 AM
10/14/13 06:56 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,944
Nova Scotia
Flo NS Offline
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Flo NS  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,944
Nova Scotia
6. Fine, I'll take it.

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918654
10/14/13 06:56 AM
10/14/13 06:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 26,198
Unionville
manxman Online content
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Online Content
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 26,198
Unionville
7. get to work in the morning wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918658
10/14/13 07:17 AM
10/14/13 07:17 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
Cue Offline
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Cue  Offline
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Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
8. to live a long life lol Morning Curly thanksgiving to all our Canadian Boomers!


Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918659
10/14/13 07:17 AM
10/14/13 07:17 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones.

All kinds of goodies Joan including gobbler.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918665
10/14/13 07:45 AM
10/14/13 07:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
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GBC  Offline
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Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
4. the meaning of dreams. rotfl

Morning curly, wave


Gail
Re: Jokes. [Re: GBC] #918670
10/14/13 07:59 AM
10/14/13 07:59 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline
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UK
3. I didn`t need one then

lol


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918686
10/14/13 09:10 AM
10/14/13 09:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks. Hi Gail.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918713
10/14/13 12:01 PM
10/14/13 12:01 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Jema Offline
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Jema  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Good afternoon, curly cat

8. to live a long life smile


Wouldn't that jar your mustard!
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918720
10/14/13 12:19 PM
10/14/13 12:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Hi Jema, good answer.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918738
10/14/13 02:04 PM
10/14/13 02:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline
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Niki  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
thanksgiving curly,
sorry I missed it earlier wave


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918751
10/14/13 02:29 PM
10/14/13 02:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 34,040
Alabama
soot Offline
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

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Posts: 34,040
Alabama
Happy Thanksgiving Curly!

thanksgiving


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918829
10/15/13 12:39 AM
10/15/13 12:39 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
9. Currently taking an exam. wave


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #918838
10/15/13 01:22 AM
10/15/13 01:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks Niki and soot.

Good one Bob.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Re: Jokes.(Hint) [Re: curly] #918861
10/15/13 06:06 AM
10/15/13 06:06 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 265
greece
margob Offline
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margob  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 265
greece
5. brush your hair?

margo

Re: Jokes.(Hint) [Re: curly] #918864
10/15/13 06:10 AM
10/15/13 06:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 43,066
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks margo.


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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