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Yankee Doodle Diner #966072
07/03/14 06:47 PM
07/03/14 06:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen (1935 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Top Ten Signs Your Spouse Is Having A Cyber Affair...


10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.

9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.

8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.

5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers.

4. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.

3. During sex she screams "A COLON BACKSLASH ENTER INSERT!!!!"

2. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy's behind.

1. Lipstick on the mouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't


10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He's one hard judge!

8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!

3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

1. Think you can get me off?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


More 'FUNNY JOKES'

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."

"How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size." The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.


WHAT??? She said I'd love to be six again. NOT I'd love to be size 6 again. duh
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it's made a big difference for me."

"That's great! What was the name of that clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In this life I'm a woman.

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup... gonna be a bear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Good morning everyboomie. welcome


4th HAPPY JULY THE 4TH!! USA


I hope you all have a cracker jack day.


I get to work today, and give up my Saturday off too. rolleyes


I'll tell you what. If anybody looks at me sideways, I'll go off on them like a Roman candle. lol


If you really want to see a great fireworks display today just light a whole pack of whiz-poppers and drop them down some old mans pants, and sit back and enjoy the show. haha


Of course we expect the temperature today to be.........come on let's all say it together..... thumbsup.......{{{hotter than a firecracker on the 4th of July.}}} rotfl


Have a bang up day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966073
07/03/14 06:56 PM
07/03/14 06:56 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks for the laughs Joe and have a great day.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966078
07/03/14 07:26 PM
07/03/14 07:26 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, so sorry you have to work, but hopefully you get holiday pay.

SpaceQ, have a wonderful day!

My sister and her hubby and son will be here in the morning and we'll be running the dogs. Then we will be off to my niece's for a pool party. I hope to be home kinda early so I can get in a few hours of work.

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #966095
07/04/14 01:25 AM
07/04/14 01:25 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sorry you have to work today, but I hope it goes easy peasy!

Hi, SQFan! Hope your Independence Day is terrific!

Hey, Ana! Sounds like a fun day! Hope it's relaxing!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! It's Yippee-ki-yay-it'sIndependenceDayandI'mthankfulforthefreedomsofthisgreatcountry
soenjoythedayandhaveafabulous Yankee Doodle Diner! 4th USA

Still Thursday evening for me.....

No big plans for the weekend and that's just how we planned it....easy peasy, seeing where each day of the weekend takes us! happydance

So...

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966097
07/04/14 01:28 AM
07/04/14 01:28 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a great 4th happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966105
07/04/14 04:59 AM
07/04/14 04:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, Darlene and Haroula. Coffee is on. It's going to be a rainy 4th of July all day. Hope you all have a great day! wave


Gerry
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: Kaki's Sister] #966120
07/04/14 06:36 AM
07/04/14 06:36 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning all wave 4th hope every one has a great 4th!! USA Gerry thanks for getting the coffee ready! USA


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966124
07/04/14 07:13 AM
07/04/14 07:13 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers:

Good Morning Joe, Space, Ana, Darlene, Haroula, Gerry, Sue and everyone who comes into the Diner today. Wishing everyone a safe and happy Fourth of July weekend. Seems Arthur will be putting a damper on activities around here.


Gail
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966129
07/04/14 07:47 AM
07/04/14 07:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all in Arthur's path stay safe. To all here, and all who follow have a Happy and Safe 4th of July. Midge, I hope your computer can be fixed easily and cheaply. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC. 4th USA


Connie
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966146
07/04/14 09:40 AM
07/04/14 09:40 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has an enjoyable and fantastic Friday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966147
07/04/14 09:40 AM
07/04/14 09:40 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sorry you have to work, Joe. Thorsgoats does too, but he's happy about it because of the holiday pay. Which is the reason they gave me the day off; they didn't want to spring for it. I'd gladly change places with him. lol Hope you have a good day and that work is over before you know it.

Have a great day, too, Space Quest.

Have fun with your family at the pool party, Ana. thumbsup Hope you are able to get some work in as well.

Darlene, that's how we planned it as well. yes Hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend. thumbsup

Have a 4th as well, Haroula!

Hope the rain doesn't cause you to miss out on any plans, Gerry. Have a terrific day.

Have a great 4th as well, Cailyn.

Gail, sorry to hear that. It's gray here as well, but so far we've only gotten periodic thunderstorms. Hope it is the same for you!

Thanks for the delicious food, Connie. Hope you have a terrific holiday.

Enjoy your Friday as well, manxman.

I'm off today. I have no plans, but it's for the best as it looks like we're in for a lot of rainy weather. So I'll be staying home, singing and gaming with my kitties. grin

Hope everyone here has a 4th! Have a great day, everyone. USA


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966149
07/04/14 09:42 AM
07/04/14 09:42 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Happy 4th to you Joe .. work hard and it'll be done before you know it (I hope! :o)

Howdy Hello Yankee Doodle Diner mates .. wishing you a safe day!

Have a fun.run Ana

No big plans for us either Darlene .. we're going to a game tonight with fireworks and then rest for the rest of the weekend (with normal chores and projects) should be quiet

Thanks Haroula .. have a great afternoon and evening

Stay dry Gerry Venus and Gail

Happy 4th Sue manXman and Connie

See you all later wave

hearts L4L



Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966159
07/04/14 10:14 AM
07/04/14 10:14 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday and 4th

Wishing you each a fantastic day of celebration. Hoping you can all dodge Arthur.

Son is at work. Hubby is off, boys are here, it is hot but our high is only supposed to be 91, last I heard which is a few degrees cooler than it has been. We are taking the gang to a ball game tonight. There will be fireworks afterwards.

Slept too late to chat with daughter sad Oh well, the one thing I know in life is if something is wrong, she will call so no news is good news.

Joe, are you working at work or working at home? Seems like everytime you "fix" something at home, you find 6 more things that need fixing.

Space, have a great day too!

Ana, a pool party sounds fantastic. Enjoy!

Darlene, easy peasy is my favorite.

Haroula, you have a great day.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Cailyn, hope your day is fantastic.

Gail, stay dry.

Connie, thanks for the bacon sandwiches. Yummy tummy!

Manx wave

Venus, sounds like a super plan.

Soot kissy

Need moooooooooooooooore coffee!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966168
07/04/14 10:58 AM
07/04/14 10:58 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Off to the parade but want to wish everybody a Happy 4th!!!! May it be safe and full of fun!!!

4th
Nan

Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966177
07/04/14 12:18 PM
07/04/14 12:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Fun day I hope. The annoying neighbors across the street, seemed to have ALL packed into one SUV and gone off at 7am. We are all hoping that they are gone for the long weekend and there will be no fireworks from that house tonight. Good chance that they are gone. Porch light is ON. They never have it on in the daylight, and the hubby's car was moved around back of the house. That's interesting. Crossing fingers.

Penelope was here at 8am already had hit the grapes and blueberries and didn't seem hungry for fruit. Found her on my front porch later looking in the bushes and planters for bugs. Guess it's a Meat Friday for her. rotfl

I think my bachelor neighbor's son (who is in his late 20's and visits every so often) is drunk or on drugs today. If I'm outside he usually waves and say hello. Today he waved and said, "Hi beautiful! Did you know that with that long t-shirt it looks like you have nothing on underneath?" (I'm wearing shorts). What a shock to hear that. I laughed and he went off with his dad to the local corner diner. Strange comment for sure. I told him I was 'trolling' for rich men. dance


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966205
07/04/14 01:29 PM
07/04/14 01:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Lol, Sorta, maybe he thought he was being cute.

Boys all fed, kitchen cleaned up, and a new batch of ginger tea makings steeping.

Weatherman just said "80's" for our high happydance


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966207
07/04/14 01:33 PM
07/04/14 01:33 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Good retort, Sorta. Maybe Penelope told neighbors to, "Scat!!". See we all knew she'd do good for you.

Nice day -only 92 predicted- but it must be quite humid because it's hot and this has been the most quiet 4th that I can remember, not even much traffic.

I was going to have a hamburger today but after counting the leftovers in the fridge, you know -a little dish of this and a little dish of that- why cook just warm -so that's that.

All enjoy this day and research some history


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: Yankee Clipper] #966216
07/04/14 02:24 PM
07/04/14 02:24 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer
Gimli  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
I hope you all will have a great 4th of July day!

My schedule is still jam-packed, but wanted to say hello on this special U.S. day.

Last weekend my washing machine did a rock-and-roll in my laundry. Normally the machine is standing on a pedestal of concrete and is behaving, but the manufacturer said (afterwards) that the drum was broken while washing, and at the end, when the spinn-dryer was spinning really fast, the washing machine hopped down the pedestal and started rocking round the room. Boy that was a sight and a noise... rotfl Yes, I have a new washing machine now thumbsup

I'am sending all my love to you all kissy

Evelyne


"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966241
07/04/14 04:41 PM
07/04/14 04:41 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966248
07/04/14 05:02 PM
07/04/14 05:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wow, Evelyne, bet that was fun...wink

Night, Haroula, sweet dreams sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: looney4labs] #966255
07/04/14 06:53 PM
07/04/14 06:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Hey, sweet 'Boomies!

Decided to spend the day hunkerin' down at home, enjoying soccer, enjoying a lovely glass of sangiovese, and just chillaxin'. smile It's all good!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966257
07/04/14 07:21 PM
07/04/14 07:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi everyone. Happy 4th. I worked this morning and very hard. Stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Been quiet here but outside it poured. We're in the path of Arthur. Boy did it pour. The worst of it will be later on tonight. Lots of thunder and lightening. Still raining. The surrounding towns are really flooded.

I'm getting my computer fixed on this coming Wednesday. Good thing I have my kindle fire. It's a computer. I can't wait to work on my desktop again. It'll be a lot less expensive than buying a new computer.

See you later.Hugs.
hearts
Midgie


Just do it.
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966270
07/04/14 08:46 PM
07/04/14 08:46 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 125
Thrudvanger
Thorsgoats Offline
Settled Boomer
Thorsgoats  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 125
Thrudvanger
Happy fourth of July. I had to work today and made a lot of money because of holiday pay. I didn't have much choice in the matter as it's a regularly scheduled day for me. There were a lot of customers today. Apparently, no one has anything else to do on the fourth of July except shop. smile

Now I'm home relaxing with the cat, Jupiter. He knows how to live it up. smile Jupiter is here kneading the pillow and is a happy fourth of July kitty. kitty


"Is there anybody there? Am I alone . . . in this place? Can you see me? Can you hear me? SHOW me you are here!"
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966278
07/04/14 10:07 PM
07/04/14 10:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good evening boomies! Came home early to keep Merlin company. So many loud fireworks I could not leave him alone for long. He's sa basket case. sad

I'm in the corner...hope you all are enjoying your day.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Yankee Doodle Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #966285
07/04/14 11:03 PM
07/04/14 11:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thorsgoat, cats do know how to live.

Back from the game. It was the fastest game I've ever seen...just over 2 hours. Had to wait for it to get dark so they could do the fireworks. Hubby and I had fun, son, not so much <shrug> The fireworks were right over our heads.....we were rained on with expended fireworks stuff.

Our dogs are not having fun..Sky cut his mouth on something and Keoki will not go outside. Oh well, it will be over soon.

Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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