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TGIF #986232
10/31/14 12:53 AM
10/31/14 12:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,777
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,777
Calera, Oklahoma
We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand... and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.
Marie Beyon Ray
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new monk at a monastery took a vow of silence. He was allowed to speak only once a year, and then he could only say TWO words.

At the end of the 1st year he went to the head monk, and said, "Bed Hard".

At the end of the 2nd year he went to the head monk, and said, "Room Cold".

At the end of the 3rd year he went to the head monk, and said, "I Quit".

The head monk replied, "It doesn't surprise me, all you've done since you got here was complain!"
~~~~~~~~~

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket, please."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against... get this... fire.
After he had smoked them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance company and filed.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally.
The man sued.
The judge stated that since the company had insured the cigars against fire, they were obligated to pay.
After the man accepted payment for his claim, the company then had him arrested ..... for arson.
~~~~~~~~~~~


Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"
"274" was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday" replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?
"Nine" says the third man.
"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?
"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.
I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married."
"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good, too!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


An Irish guy goes into a bar in America and asks for three separate shots of Whiskey. He drinks one, waits a little bit, then drinks the second one, waits a little bit more, and then drinks the third one. This goes on for a few days, and finally the bartender tells him: "You know sir, I can put all three shots in one glass for you".
The guy replies "No, I prefer it this way. You see, I'm very close to my two brothers. They are both still in Ireland, and this represents a drink for each of us. When I drink like this, I feel like we are drinking together again, all three of us".

This goes on for several months, and then one day the guy walks into the pub and asks for only two shots.
The bartender is worried that maybe something happened to one of his brothers.
"Is everything OK"? he asks.
"What do you mean", answers the guy.
"Well, for months you have been asking for three shots. now you order two. Did something happen to one of your brothers?", the bartender asks.
"No", replies the Irish guy, "They're fine. It's just that I quit drinking".
~~~~~~~~~~


A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the special of the day?"

"Chili," she says, "but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl."

The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chili remained uneaten.

"Are you going to eat your chili?" he asked.

"No, help yourself," replied his neighbor.

The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had just eaten back into the bowl.

The man sitting next to him says, "Yeah, that's as far as I got, too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


What's for breakfast? Chili anyone? snicker


I actually started to have chili yesterday. yes


NOT for breakfast though! shame


Well today is closing day. I close on my house......and then I close at work. thumbsup


When I get home tonight I will have the keys to my new home. penguin


Then I get to move. sad


Yeah.......not too excited about that part. blush


Have a happy day everyone.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986242
10/31/14 02:43 AM
10/31/14 02:43 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe and all who follow in later. wave
Joe enjoy your new house. happydance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986245
10/31/14 04:05 AM
10/31/14 04:05 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Off for yet another work whoosh. wave Have a terrific day and Halloween, everyone. Jackpumpkin ghost2 blackkitty


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: venus] #986247
10/31/14 04:27 AM
10/31/14 04:27 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,Venus waveCongrats on selling the house Joe!Happy Halloween everybody Jackpumpkin Coffee is brewing witch blackkitty


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986256
10/31/14 06:54 AM
10/31/14 06:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,499
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,499
winter springs fl.
Good morning Happy Halloween. Jackpumpkin To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. They should get the porch roof back on today, then on to the main roof. I'm going to a Halloween party tonight at our Karaoke place. I'm going as a witch. witch Danish, Waffles, and Bacon and Eggs in the NC. ghost2


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986258
10/31/14 07:08 AM
10/31/14 07:08 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,994
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,994
Marlborough USA
ghost Jackpumpkin Good Morning Joe, Haroula, venus, Sue, Connie, and All on the way to the Diner. Joe Good Luck with the move. luck Haroula enjoy your day. Venus hope you get to have some time off this weekend. Sue I'm ready for that coffee. Connie sounds like a fun time tonight! witch Wishing everyone a Happy Halloween! Jackpumpkin ghost


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986266
10/31/14 08:12 AM
10/31/14 08:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 23,391
Unionville
manxman Offline
True Blue Boomer
manxman  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 23,391
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a Happy Halloween Jackpumpkin witch


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986270
10/31/14 08:46 AM
10/31/14 08:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Happy Halloween Boomers Jackpumpkin

Joe, congrats! hope the move goes smoothly.

Haroula, good afternoon!

Venus enjoy the day!

Sue, thanks for the coffee. witch

Gerry, have a great day.

Manxman, happy Halloween.

Wishing everyone a wonderfully happy day! Will be busy tonight with all the Trick or Treaters. ghost


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: GBC] #986278
10/31/14 09:57 AM
10/31/14 09:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,449
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,449
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and congratulations on the close! Woohoo and booyah! Hope your TGIF is fab-u-lous! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday! woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986295
10/31/14 11:39 AM
10/31/14 11:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Happy Closing, Joe!!! On both accounts. Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Ana hope that all is well and the shoulder keeps improving even if it is slower then you want for it to. HUGS!! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

venus happy working and may the day fly! Have a lovely day!

Sue thanks for the coffee as it hit the cold spot this morning. Only 28F out there. Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Connie glad the pourch will be done today! Have a wonderful time at the Halloween Party tonight!! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy your walk today. Have fun with all those trick or treaters tonight. Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work all go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986303
10/31/14 12:28 PM
10/31/14 12:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
Fantastic Friday and Happy Halloween puppy

This is my 3rd attempt at getting up this morning. Keep getting up, wandering downstairs, and going "Nope, not happening." Back to bed the gang and I go. Tried again with the same result some time later. This time it Might take. I have managed to feed us all and plan a slow walk in 30 minutes when the food has had time to settle and the sun has had time to warm. Then it might be be back to bed again. We shall see.

Hubby will take care of the door tonight. He loves to see all the little kids, though we don't normally have many.

Joe, how long do you have to change houses?

wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986310
10/31/14 12:51 PM
10/31/14 12:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
ghost Hi everyone. I hope you're all having a great Halloween. ghost2 Jackpumpkin witch blackkitty I'm home from work and I don't have to go back until tomorrow evening. yay I can hand out candy tonight to all the trick-or-treaters. I can't wait until I see all of them.

Midgie hearts ghost


Just do it.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986311
10/31/14 12:52 PM
10/31/14 12:52 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,821
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,821
San Diego, CA
Happy Hallowed Weenie to all! Jackpumpkin

Hey Yankee, my possums are seasonal also, even in our nice temperate climate. There are 3 biggies now. Huge one we call Bluto, medium one with a spotted tail so weird, and a whimpy one we named Harold (after an old boyfriend of mine). Dunno if they are male or female but they all sort of get along when 'sharing' the food. They take turns, one at a time. Never two on the table together. In the spring, there will probably be babies deposited under my deck, who will then crawl out from the gap around the tree (we built the deck around it so it could stay there for shade). I used to have a feeder on the deck, but moved everything up on a table. Easier for me and not so many ants getting into the dry food.

Last batch of babies just disappeared. Don't know if they died or just wandered off to better digs. Might have been scared off by the Outdoorsie cats. We shall see if this Spring we have a good batch. The adults seem to live across the street and in other back yards beside me. My feeding area is way too busy with critters for the little ones to stay. Used to be fights with the adults. And as you said, usually one or two come back with the babies, and then move on, and the babies become the next generation. Each one has an identity so you can tell them apart. Just can't fathom having one in the house. How fun would that be? Potty box users? You might be right. Possums are clean, wash their hands a lot in the water dish and enjoy cleaning 'items'. Unfortunately, some of them tried to clean my 'ant traps'! Luckily they are not dangerous to wildlife. Whew. Found two of them floating in the communal dish one morning. EVERYONE uses it. No adverse effects to any one. I'm very careful with 'killing' products.

Gotta gear up for Halloween night. Gonna be a biggie I'm afraid. Too much action around here lately. Hope there are no gunshots. ghost2


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986312
10/31/14 12:59 PM
10/31/14 12:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,820
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,820
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning everyone! It's snowing here and up to 60 mph hours gusts of wind. Shadow won't lay by the door because the wind is whipping up my cedar chips and banging them against the sidelight. It's a good day to stay in bed! Also, if the way my shoulder feels today is a response to todays weather, it will be a very long painful winter. I hope I just slept wrong.

I'm waiting for the plumber to call to fix one of our toilets too. In the meantime I will be running to the store and then off to PT.

I wish you all a happy day! I have to get moving.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986319
10/31/14 01:12 PM
10/31/14 01:12 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Hey Sorta, be careful this Halloween -too many punks slithering around. Lotsa woods and scrub around here and a long driveway so never had kids at H'Ween but I always keep a few dollars at hand -in case.

Opossums -they are lovely kind and gentle creatures and people can learn alot from them. They are cleaner than cats and have exceptional noses, sence of smell. The baby will be in the hall so I put down a dish of fancy feast and watch. And immediately that nose starts twitching and walla!!!(spelling) she's eating.
Opossums in the house because I keep windows and doors open so I don't have to get up and down all the time to let the cats and dogs -when I had them- in and out. Believe me that has made life interesting at times. The plumber once was outside and yelling hellohellohello anybody home -everything OK?? And once a big bull snake in the hall andandand..........

Gotta sign off -just found out my son in law rang the opening bell for market yesterday morning WOW


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986348
10/31/14 03:42 PM
10/31/14 03:42 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,949
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,949
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thumbsup on the train joke Joe. lol


Have a great weekend Boomers. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: Yankee Clipper] #986349
10/31/14 03:46 PM
10/31/14 03:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
Happy Halloween to all! ghost

Congrats Joe on everything going so well with the sale and purchase of the houses. Do you have a shorter commute to work now?

To Ana and L4L, I hope you both feel better soon. Winter has come to Ana's neighborhood it seems. I'm sorry, Ana. The best time of year has started here in Arizona. The highs are in the high 70s and nights in the mid 50's. Perfect!
I remember opossums from my childhood in the 1950s when I lived at my grandma's house in Whittier, CA. At that time, it was rural and farm-like. She had acreage and her whole family had little houses of their own on it.
I have to watch out for things like rattlesnakes, scorpions and black widow spiders. Yuck! witch

Andrea ghost2

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986358
10/31/14 04:17 PM
10/31/14 04:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,209
Alabama
Hi there, Andrea...good to see you?

Ana, that is cold...brrrr!

We are supposed to have freeze warnings this weekend, but climbing back up a bit next week. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986362
10/31/14 04:48 PM
10/31/14 04:48 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 7,408
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida USA
granny Offline
BAAG Specialist
granny  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 7,408
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida USA
Hay Connie, wanna borrow my Broom??


Granny Goodwitch

A woman NEVER shot a man while he was doing dishes!
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986412
10/31/14 10:11 PM
10/31/14 10:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Granny rotfl

Time for me to say good night. Had a few trick or treaters but not as many as I had hoped. See you all in the morning. Ana hope you are well. Snow? eek

Midgie hearts sleep ghost ghost2 Jackpumpkin witch


Just do it.
Re: TGIF [Re: Midge] #986414
10/31/14 10:19 PM
10/31/14 10:19 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,949
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,949
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #986420
11/01/14 12:19 AM
11/01/14 12:19 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,820
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,820
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams all....


Don't feed the Trolls
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