GB HOMEPAGE

Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry

Posted By: gymcandy1

Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 12:06 AM

The only difference between doctors and lawyers is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too.
Anton Chekhov

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What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?

In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.

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President Obama tried to get a new tax through for Halloween. He wanted all families making more than $250,000 to give extra candy to trick-or-treaters.

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Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name?

Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell me.

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It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters. The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked."

The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed. "Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage. "May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state troopers patrol car.

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A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

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One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender. The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, "Why did you do that?"

The drunk said very apologetically, "I am so very sorry sir. Please forgive me. I can't help it. It's an illness I can't get rid of. I am so ashamed of it. How can I make it up to you?"

The bartender answered, "Haven't you seen anyone about this problem?" The drunk replied, "I never thought of that. Maybe I will."

The bartender said, "Don't come back until you do get help," and the drunk left.

About three months later the drunk came back to the same bar, ordered another gin and tonic, drank half of it, and poured the rest of it on the bartender.

The bartender shouted, "I thought I told you not to come back until you got help!"

The drunk replied, "I did. Now I don't feel any shame or guilt."

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When Americans woke up last month, they suddenly realized:
15 years ago they had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope ... Today they have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope....

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"Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?" "

What's the matter with you?" asked his father. "Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"


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Each day when I would come home from work I would drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he wanted to box. I wanted him to learn how to protect himself, so we would spar around for a few minutes before supper.

One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes. The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a particular pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he replied, "Yes." The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked, "Do you want a box?"

Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.

After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several minutes explaining why this happened. Luckily, our salesman was the father of a 4 year old.

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Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground. Laurel rushed down, reached Hardy who was lying motionless and asked: “You still alive or dead?”

Hardy: “Alive.”

Laurel: “You mostly lie to me. I don’t know whether to trust you or not.”

Hardy: “Then I must be dead. You won’t dare to call me a liar if I were alive.”

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Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo. The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, jumped to the ground and kissed her. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest.

The nuns met again a week later and one of the nuns asked her friend,"I have one question. Did he send flowers afterwards...?"

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Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Anyway it is if you're not getting up at 3:30 to go back to work............at Lowe's.


If you are......... headscratch............get outta my head and get to bed. You have to get up early!!


Smile and be happy you're alive. You'll be off again Friday.


That may not be a silver lining.


It's more like a pewter lining. yes


It's the next best thing. woot


Have a happy day everyone.



joe
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 01:40 AM

Have a good and fast Monday everyone. smile
Posted By: cailyn

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 03:06 AM

Good morning everyone waveI haven't been here for a while miss you guys I'll get the coffee going,Thank you all for the Birthday wishes summer
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 03:26 AM

Good morning Joe, that's an early start for sure! Hope it goes by quickly!

SpaceQ have a great day!

Sue, so good to see you here. I hope all is well. hearts

Have a great day everyone!
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 07:59 AM

Good morning,have all a great day. happydance wave
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 11:25 AM

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ,Sue,Ana and Haroula. More fresh coffee and tea are ready. wave
Posted By: connie

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 01:05 PM

Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, Omelets, and French Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: Darlene

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 02:53 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a Rah Rah Monday! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Had a lovely weekend at the beach with family! Went too quickly!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted By: GBC

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 03:02 PM

Good Morning Boomers summer

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Sue, so nice to see you back. You were missed.

Space, good day!

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Ana, enjoy whatever goes today.

Gerry, have a gre3at day.

Connie, Danish please and thank you.

Darlene, glad you enjoyed the beach.

School shopping for the girls. Where is the summer going? frown
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 04:24 PM

Magnificent Monday ya'll

Seagy has a vet appointment for her monthly check this morning. Don't expect them to find anything wrong. Also have to get some Bravecto. Not sure what the rest of the day will bring.

Son and Hubby and I figured how to play Star Trek Catan last night. It's the only Catan game any of us have played so it took some time to figure out on the first play through.

The Cully's b'day is tomorrow. He'll be 6. School started today.

Joe, those hours are awful!

Sue, so good to see you. Hope your birthday is wonderful. birthday

Back in a bit wave

Hmmmm.....interesting...was sure I posted this an hour ago...wonder where I posted it?
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 05:52 PM

Abbi day!!!! Just wanted to stop and wish everybody a lovely day!!!

Sue thanks for the coffee and great to see you post! HUGS and hope all is well!

Abbi says HI!!!

wave
Nan
Posted By: MsMercury

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 08:50 PM

Hello Boomers! Hope everyone is well!

Just now getting a chance to stop by. Had a house full of family today, wonderful!

Heading off to bed now...enjoy the rest of your day guys!

Mary hearts wave
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/10/15 08:58 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 01:44 AM

Nan, how was the Abbi day?

Mary, sounds like you had a great celebration. Sweet dreams!

Space wave

We just had a fun time in the kitchen. Son and I were in the kitchen. He was doing the dishes when the supports for a high shelf holding lots of glassware gave up the ghost.

Huge bang....exploding glass...shards everywhere...both of us barefooted rotfl

So glad it happened when we were in there, but the dogs and kids were not. That is a rare occurrence. Cleaning cleaning cleaning and probably will be tomorrow too to be sure there are no glass slivers to hurt the dogs.

Whew, gonna mop the kitchen one more time and then go to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 02:07 AM

Glad you didn't get hurt L4L. How scary!

Sweet dreams all.

Ana wave
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 02:17 AM

Sounds scary looney. I'm glad everyone is safe.
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 02:18 AM

Me too, Space. I guess that was God's way of telling me the kitchen floor needed mopping lol
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 02:40 AM

rotfl looney.
Posted By: Midge

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 03:10 AM

Wow L4L I'm glad no one was hurt. I remember when one of my Siamese cats was apparently walking on the overhead cabinet and pushed over a glass baking dish onto the floor and the glass dish went flying all over the kitchen floor. What a mess. I didn't realise what happened until the next morning. I was lucky my cat didn't hurt herself on the glass. That brought me back.

Time for bed for me. I have another early shift. Sweet dreams all.

Midgie hearts
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Monday....Break's Over, Back On Your Heads Rah.....Rah......Rah and a Big Red Raspberry - 08/11/15 06:00 AM

L4l my Abbi day was wonderful! Glad no one was hurt from the falling glass. Good luck on retrieving all those splinters of glass.

Night all, sleep well,

sleep
Nan
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