Posted By: gymcandy1
Turkey of a Diner - 11/24/16 01:39 AM
The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.
~H.U. Westermayer
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.
~Meister Eckhart
Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.
~E.P. Powell
So once in every year we throng
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with feast and song
In thankfulness of heart.
~Arthur Guiterman, The First Thanksgiving
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Remember God's bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude!
~Henry Ward Beecher
````````````````````
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.”
Erma Bombeck
``````````````````
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
`````````````````````
Thanksgiving Turkey Song
O turkey dear O turkey dear
How lovely are thy feathers
O turkey dear O turkey dear
There could be nothing better!
We celebrate Thanksgiving Day
By putting your carcass on display.
O turkey dear O turkey dear
You thought we were friends who came to greet you.
O turkey dear O turkey dear
We gathered here to eat you!
O turkey day O turkey day
The family is all together
O turkey day O turkey day
We've over come bad weather
Seeing the family is so fab We'll see ya'll again in rehab.
O turkey day O turkey day
We'll drink away your memory.
````````````````
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"
``````````````````
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied "No they're dead."
```````````````````
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
`````````````````
A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato,"Hey, I just found out I'm related to you." The potato said," No you're are not!" The sweet potato said back,"Yes, I yam."
``````````````````
Young Michael was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal. 'What are you doing?' Michael enquired. 'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied. 'Wow, that's cool.' Michael remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'
``````````````````
A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES. The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE.
````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie, and all you turkeys too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I sincerely hope that all of your gobbling doesn't attract any hunters today.
Just be sure to keep your head down, ok?
It's a very dangerous time of year, especially if you have neighbors named Donner.
If you do make it through the day without being eaten, be thankful. Be very thankful.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~H.U. Westermayer
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.
~Meister Eckhart
Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.
~E.P. Powell
So once in every year we throng
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with feast and song
In thankfulness of heart.
~Arthur Guiterman, The First Thanksgiving
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Remember God's bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude!
~Henry Ward Beecher
````````````````````
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.”
Erma Bombeck
``````````````````
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
`````````````````````
Thanksgiving Turkey Song
O turkey dear O turkey dear
How lovely are thy feathers
O turkey dear O turkey dear
There could be nothing better!
We celebrate Thanksgiving Day
By putting your carcass on display.
O turkey dear O turkey dear
You thought we were friends who came to greet you.
O turkey dear O turkey dear
We gathered here to eat you!
O turkey day O turkey day
The family is all together
O turkey day O turkey day
We've over come bad weather
Seeing the family is so fab We'll see ya'll again in rehab.
O turkey day O turkey day
We'll drink away your memory.
````````````````
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"
``````````````````
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied "No they're dead."
```````````````````
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
`````````````````
A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato,"Hey, I just found out I'm related to you." The potato said," No you're are not!" The sweet potato said back,"Yes, I yam."
``````````````````
Young Michael was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal. 'What are you doing?' Michael enquired. 'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied. 'Wow, that's cool.' Michael remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'
``````````````````
A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES. The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE.
````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie, and all you turkeys too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I sincerely hope that all of your gobbling doesn't attract any hunters today.
Just be sure to keep your head down, ok?
It's a very dangerous time of year, especially if you have neighbors named Donner.
If you do make it through the day without being eaten, be thankful. Be very thankful.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
I wanted to stop by and wish you all Happy Thanksgiving 
If you need some there's always coffee and tea at Joe's this morning! 
to your granddaughters, Nan. 
