TGIF

The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.

WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

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Too Far North

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You have 10 favourite recipes for elk, moose or deer meat.

You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet above the ground.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.

You think everyone from the city has an accent.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't come up on your deck.

There is only one shopping plaza in town.

You find -40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

There are two seasons: Liquid and Solid

Nine months of winter and three months of rough sledding.

Six inches of snow is still considered a heavy frost.

You actually 'get' these jokes, and forward them to all your Northern friends.

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True Meaning

Statement: "Im a Romantic."
True Meaning: "Im poor."

Statement: "Youre the only girl Ive ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasnt rejected me."

Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."

Statement: "Shes kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldnt kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."

Statement: "I dont know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She wont sleep with me."

Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "Im insecure about my manhood."

Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"

Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and you might find out."

Statement: "Do you really love me?"
True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find
out sooner or later."

Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "Ive done something really stupid and someones on
their way to tell you by now."

Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."

Statement: "Ive been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "Youre not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "Youre ugly."

Statement: "Ive learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"

Statement: "Im on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

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Unavoidable Laws

These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

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Good morning everyboomie.


IT'S FRIDAY!!!


I'm all set to go head hunting......for sure, and unlike Wednesday & Thursday, Friday is going to be in the upper 60s, instead of in the 80s.


If I can just get my nose to stop sneezing.


I did more mowing today outside the fence, and the wind doeth blow around here occasionally, so I guess the rags and the weeds, and the pollups are floating around in the air.


I do hope Friday is not windy. I just checked, and we're going to have 23 mph gust. Oh well.


Ain't nothing gonna break my stride.


Sorta Blond everything I said yesterday I was kidding about, except for shaving my legs, and painting my nails.


Ever since I became a carpenter, I've enjoyed painting my nails.


I've enjoyed shaving my legs ever since I got my first Barbie.......er...KEN doll.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Thanks Joe, for your openers. You make me laugh.
I have a split shift again. Got to get to bed so I will have enough energy for the day. We had a glorious day today. A touch of spring. I loved it. See you on the flip side.

Midgie

Joe! You even have me questioning if you kidding or being serious. Have fun and good luck! Are you bringing both pups with?

Midgicans! How is life treating you?

Haroula.

Have a great day all!

Ana

Good morning all,have a happy day.
Thanks for the birthday cake Anna.

Good Morning Joe, Midgie, Ana and Haroula. Good Luck today Joe! Midgie don't work to hard! Ana enjoy your day. Happy Birthday Haroula and best wishes for a wonderful birthday! Coffee, tea and Birthday cake are ready and waiting to celebrate!
Happy Day everyone!

Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful TGIF. Haroula, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. Joe, good luck head hunting. Dinner, dancing, and karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. Danish, BB Panckes, French Toast, and Biscuits and Gravy in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy the day!

Ana, good day wishes to you.

Haroula,

Midgie, hope your workday is an easy one.

Gerry, have a great day!

Connie, have fun tonight.

A walk with the dog this morning. Going to the movies today. Wishing everyone a super day!

Fantastic Friday ya'll

I see blue skies and bright sun. Hopefully I'll get the monkeys out for a walk and go snag some groceries before the boys get here.

Good luck, Joe.

Gail, which movie?

Haroula

Joe either way....thanks for the laughs! Good luck and have a lovely day!

Midge have fun at work and a lovely day!

Ana have a lovely day!

Haroula Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the tea and have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the birthday cupcake and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy the Nina walk and the movie! Have a lovely day!

L4l hope MIL is still improving! Enjoy the walk and shopping and have a lovely day!


Nan

Despite my muscle pains from pulling weeds, there is always a bright spot first thing each morning. JOE! Thanks for the endless laughs which always make me feel like this will be a good day no matter what.

Hi Ana. I haven't heard that name in a long time. You warm my heart Sweetie. I'm good, working way too hard but I'm not here on the board enough. I miss everyone. How are you my friend?

Midgie

Nan, I'm just back from the grocery store. Whew! Now I think I'll take a nap instead of a walk.

M-i-l was released yesterday to rehab That is a great improvement. Still a long way to go, but we are so grateful for that much improvement.

Sorta, are the weeds all gone?

Midgy, we miss you when you can't make it here.

Off to nap before the boys get here.

Welcome to Ohio.

It is 77 degrees now with a chance of snow tomorrow.

Wow, that will be a big swing, Space.

Thanks for asking about WEEDS L4L. They will never be gone. It's an endless battle. I gave up on the driveway when the tall grass stopped being easy to pull by hand. Tomorrow it's the lawnmower attempt. I'll get those little monsters somehow.

AND a great story about going to lunch with my old school chums. Here I was with my friend/tenant/token male member of our little lunch group, driving up the street looking for 24th street to turn towards the bay and to the lunch place. HE decided to start a 'discussion' about whether one of the red lights was out. I couldn't see it glowing but the one on the right side was bright. He insisted the light was on, I insisted it wasn't. Well...I MISSED my turn and ended up about 3 miles farther up the road.

So I got to see a new neighborhood. Turns out it was the Naval Housing area which is awesome with lovely high-rise towers for the servicemen and women. Great area. Last time I was in that area was during the 60's when I was dating 1/2 the US Navy here in San Diego.

So I finally get turned around, find a street that goes the right way to get back to where I should have turned and I end up IN THE NAVY BASE! Yeah. I did. Got into the no turn lane and was stuck in line with all the Navy guys going into the MAIN Navy Base here. Big problem, but I'd been there before. A nice guy let me in line in front of him and the GUARD approached and immediately asked, "did you miss your turn"?. Yes, I said, oh yes.

So he asked for my Driver License and he told me (very officially) that I was to FOLLOW him (he was walking in front of my car) and when he told me it was clear, he would let me do a U-turn and would hand me back my License. What fun. It happens all the time, everyone was very nice to wait for me to clear from my fiasco and I finally got back on track.

15 minutes late to lunch and everyone was panicking since I'm usually the first one there. But it was a great 'Scenic Route' which I won't be taking again! Did I miss my turn????? If I was 50 years younger, I'd have batted my eyelashes at the guard and all would be well. These days, I'm lucky they didn't pull me over and search my car. Wow. Tight security. Glad it's over.

Sorta, glad the base incident ended well. I'll never forget the time I was upset with my kids and giving them the "what for" and just blew through the gate. I realized it as soon as I did it and slammed on my brakes. MP's were running everywhere. I was relieved to get off with a talking too

I'm so happy it's time to feed the dogs. Then I'm going to fall into bed. Sweet dreams all

Good night looney.