Magnificent Monday

Posted By: gymcandy1

Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 03:56 AM

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.


I'm not sure about my eyes, but I hate my ears. wink


I never knew this.


Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins
on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?

Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic
bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will
mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of
compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other
members of the family and social circle have been
known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial
wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for
the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle
around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Then they kick him in the ice hole."

You really didn't believe that I know
anything about penguins, did you!


Things to laugh about

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were not.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Greetings from the big city of Calera Oklahoma. wave2

Having a great time.....Wish you were here. snicker

I didn't do much Sunday, but I printed off a couple of more exercise routines to add to what I'm doing. They target specific muscle groups, like abs, where I need to lose weight, and legs, where I need to add weight. smirk

......and I exercised all day, so there. yes

Monday is grocery day. I just love going to Walmart on Monday, after everyone else went and cleaned the store out on Sunday. smirk

I should have gone myself on Sunday, but I was too busy exercising......and eating what I bought last week. lol

Hopefully my muscles will move for me today, it's warmer......and hopefully you will all have a very happy day. thumbsup

Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 05:12 AM

You are doing great, Joe! Keep up the exercises! joy

Have a happy day everyone! I have to drop my car off for some interior/exterior stain proofing today and run some errands.

Ana wave
Posted By: Haroula

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 09:34 AM

Good morning,have a great day all. happydance wave2
Posted By: Kaki's Sister

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 10:12 AM

spring Good Morning Joe, ana, Haroula and all. Coffee and tea are ready. Enjoy your day! spring
Posted By: connie

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 12:46 PM

Good morning everyone, have a Great Monday. Going to the Dr. with a friend this morning. Danish, BB Pancakes, Biscuits and Gravy, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring
Posted By: Taintedfury

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 01:11 PM

Good morning Everybody...have a great one.. wavegirl
Posted By: GBC

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 02:39 PM

Good Morning Boomers penguin

Wishing everyone here and everyone on their way a fantastic Monday! joy2
Posted By: niteowl07

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 04:48 PM

good morning , everyone !

have the best day possible today !

catrub wave2
Posted By: auntiegram

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 05:03 PM

L4l this is the Birkebeiner!! Have a lovely day!

Joe thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana happy stain proofing!! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the tea and have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the Danish and have a lovely day!

Taintedfury have a lovely day!

Gail hope it's nice for a Nina walk and have a lovely day!

Niteowl have a lovely day!

Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 05:15 PM

Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

It's a rainy day in AL. I'm gonna work on taxes a bit.

I don't watch the Oscars, but was amazed to hear about the Best Picture mix up last night. Anyone watch?

Joe, you go!

Ana, hope the errands go great and you find something fun to do while waiting on your car.

Haroula, wavegirl

Gerry, loving the coffee today. Thanks.

Connie, what a good friend you are. Thanks for the bacon sandwiches.

Taintedfury, good morning. Hope your day has been a good one.

Gail, wave

Niteowl, hope your day is fantastic.

Wow, Nan, thanks for the link. Weird weather all around. What's fun today?
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 09:30 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted By: Sorta Blonde

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 09:44 PM

It's raining again. Wow. So much rain for US. Amazing after a long drought. Loads of water flowing in the street and lots of accidents all over. Nobody knows how to avoid driving through flooded streets around here. Lots of rescues of silly people who can't read warning signs. Keep the Emergency services busy for sure.

I'm watching my trees and am making mental notes of those that need trimming. They are heavy with water and some branches are about to touch my NEW fence and the roof of my storage shed, etc. Gotta get those trimmed off when the rain stops. Not looking forward to the job.
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/27/17 11:16 PM

Afternoon, Space. Welcome home wavegirl

Sorta, enjoy the rain. I hope it soaks in and doesn't just run off! How are those sore muscles?
Posted By: Space Quest Fan

Re: Magnificent Monday - 02/28/17 12:22 AM

thanks looney.
© 2020 GameBoomers Community