Posted By: gymcandy1
Happy Hump Day - 02/07/18 01:55 AM
We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
~H. P. Lovecraft~
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Really Funny Stupid Questions
Funny Questions: The best of those stupid, dumb, funny, witty and silly questions. Some of them really make you think, some make your laugh, and some are just plain stupid…
Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
More Funny Questions and Stupid Questions
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Here are some more of the of the best funny thoughts
We all can’t be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
We found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all along.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Welcome to Hell. Here’s your copy of Windows ME.
Welcome what you can’t avoid.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.
When I was young I was told that anyone could be president. Now I’m beginning to believe it.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
When all else fails, admit i’m right and kiss my ass.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess.
When in doubt, poke it with a stick.
When it’s dark enough you can see the stars.
When someone points skyward, it’s the fool that looks at the finger.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. grenade is not our friend.
When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
While having never invented a sin, I’m trying to perfect several.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free.
Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
````````````
Good morning to all the good little boys and girls out there.
And a special good morning to all the bad little girls.
Tuesday was a dreary, cold, overcast day, all day long.
Today is going to be.....Wednesday, all day long.
The best thing of all is what comes between those two days. Tuesday night....all night long.
Whatever your day brings, I hope it's wrapped in sunshine .
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~H. P. Lovecraft~
`````````````````
Really Funny Stupid Questions
Funny Questions: The best of those stupid, dumb, funny, witty and silly questions. Some of them really make you think, some make your laugh, and some are just plain stupid…
Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
More Funny Questions and Stupid Questions
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
```````
Here are some more of the of the best funny thoughts
We all can’t be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
We found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all along.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Welcome to Hell. Here’s your copy of Windows ME.
Welcome what you can’t avoid.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.
When I was young I was told that anyone could be president. Now I’m beginning to believe it.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
When all else fails, admit i’m right and kiss my ass.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess.
When in doubt, poke it with a stick.
When it’s dark enough you can see the stars.
When someone points skyward, it’s the fool that looks at the finger.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. grenade is not our friend.
When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
While having never invented a sin, I’m trying to perfect several.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free.
Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
````````````
Good morning to all the good little boys and girls out there.
And a special good morning to all the bad little girls.
Tuesday was a dreary, cold, overcast day, all day long.
Today is going to be.....Wednesday, all day long.
The best thing of all is what comes between those two days. Tuesday night....all night long.
Whatever your day brings, I hope it's wrapped in sunshine .
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
