T*G*I*F

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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~Isaac Asimov~
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Corn Anyone?


Do you know what makes me smile?
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My facial muscles.

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Today I brought a pizza with me on the bus. The driver said: “Hey this is not a restaurant.” I said: “I know, that’s why I brought my own food.”

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Being a 24-year-old virgin sucked, I’m glad nobody can say that about me anymore.
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I’m 27 now.

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A dung beetle goes into a bar and asks, "Yo, is this stool taken?"

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My mom loves gardening. She was so excited that spring finally arrived, she wet her plants.

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What wouldn’t you find in a haunted house?
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A living room.

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Where do you bring horses that are sick?
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To the horsepital.

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What is yellow and can’t swim?
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An excavator.
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Did you find that funny?
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No.
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Neither did the excavator operator.

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Pick up line: Hey girl, I overheard you saying that you’re on the lookout for some STUD! Well I’ve got STD, so all that’s missing now is u…

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Have you been picking your nose again?!
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Why would I?! I’ve had it since I was born!

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What should we call an American bee?
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A USB.

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What do you call a totally unimportant elephant?
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An Irrelephant.

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What sits up a tree and goes "Aaaaaah"? An owl with a speech impediment.

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Man to a butcher: "I'd like bull's testicles."

Butcher: "So would I"

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Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?

Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.

Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?

Man: No, I’m a barber.

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What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
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A zebra with a sun burn.

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“I am a master of fast calculations.”
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“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
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“22!”
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“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
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“Maybe, but it was fast!”

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Last week’s Clairvoyants Associated meeting was cancelled for unpredictable reasons.

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What has four legs, one foot and one head?
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A bed.

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At work:

Excuse me, may I disturb you real quick?
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Of course, what is it?
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Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you.

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Where do we get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.

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What is white and sits on your TV?

A fly wearing a white nightie.

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Good morning everyboomie.


Friday at last! Now we can get past the holiday and get to the weekend!.


Not sure what I'll have going today. I could go to the sod farm, but I don't know if it'll be worth the effort and gasoline.


I'm thinking I may go shoot some bark off of trees. I bought a new gun and I'm itching to shoot it.


It's actually a hand gun.


Anyway it's tree hunting season, and I need to bag me a big old oak.


I hope you're all enjoying your holiday weekend.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Have a great Friday, Joe, whether it involves trees, farms or something else entirely.

It's Thursday night here. I have to work tomorrow, but I only have a couple of projects, and I should be able to complete them pretty quickly. Which means I should still have most of my day free to play a game or two, and maybe start practicing/singing again. I've been neglecting that for too long.

Have a great Friday, everyone.

Joe, what did the poor trees ever do to you? Cans on a fence post are great target practice!

venus, hope your projects go fast!

I work 11-3 watching a pup that just had surgery and then family and others will be at the house ready for a nice evening. I'm looking forward to it!

Ana

Good Morning Joe, venus, Ana and everyone. Joe whatever you do enjoy your day! Venus half a day of work means you get to game! Ana sounds like a nice quiet day for you.Enjoy! Coffee and tea are ready.
Happy Black Friday to everyone!

Good morning Joe Venus Ana Gerry and the rest of the gang when your back from your Black Firday Ordeal

I can use a tall dark roast Gerry ... been up early walking the dogs and need some warmth

Hey Joe ... was that a game yesterday tween the Cowboys and Redskins or was that a game

Venus ... get er done then get ye self home ... have fun when you get home

Ana...hope your work day goes quick...have fun with family

Happy Black Friday for all of those lookin for deals ... I'm staying home today

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Holy moly, most of our leftovers have left. Boys have gone to mom's so we are enjoying a quiet house. Not sure what we will do today, but I'll figure it out by bedtime. Have a good one

Happy Black Friday. I'm spending my day going to the grocery store to buy some Cream of Wheat. Yup, gonna be good for cold mornings and my recent tooth pull (which is doing great). New Tenant(s) spent all Thanksgiving at the house even though they are still at the former residence (paid up by the relocation company until Jan 31). I saw and met Daughter and cute 2 month old baby and the baby daddy. Also saw the 2 sons who will be living here, but nobody brought them up to introduce them. The 26 year old is HUGE. Not big just tallllll. 17 year old is also tall. Daughter is tall. Mom tenant is shorter than me by an inch which isn't tall in these days. Dad of kids must have been very very tall.

Didn't see the parents come for Thanksgiving, nor the boyfriend who helped drop off lots of 'stuff' the night before. I'm getting the feeling that he doesn't mix well with the 'boys' or something. Tenant seems to have this group of friends who give her rides, etc., (she doesn't drive) but none of them ever appear at the same time or day. Weird. Sometimes she takes a Taxi or mostly walks everywhere.

Boys were 'escorted' out about 8:30 pm by mom who was gone about 5 minutes and then walked back in and stayed until 11:30 pm and was picked up I think by a taxi to go back to her other place that she is moving out of. Interesting dynamics. It will all become clear after a few months I'm sure. I always want to know who is up and down the driveway (common to all and goes right by my bedroom windows). Nice to know if someone belongs here or is a transient or burglar. Lots of those around too.

Off to Albertson's for cereal. Wheeeeee.

watcching my hubby play bridge and buying mashed potatoes.

Nighty night...

Good night, everyone.

Sorry I've missed you all - I hope everyone has a relaxing night with happy gaming thrown in.