Posted By: gymcandy1
Happy Hump Day Joe's - 12/05/18 01:35 AM
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. -
~Robert Frost~
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Funny Sayings | Part 6 | Humorous and Crazy
Best first: It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
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Whenever four New Yorkers get into a cab together with no arguing, a bank has just been robbed.
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Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.
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Hard work pays off in the future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.
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Sometimes it’s time to lay on the couch and do nothing at all for two years.
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Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? Me neither.
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If the grass is greener on the other side, fair bet is, the water bill is higher too.
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The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But we’ll get there eventually, once I’ve gone through the entire list.
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Of course you’re not stupid. You just have bad luck when you think.
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If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and a cat that will scorn you.
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A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.
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The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you’re trying to find your smartphone.
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Help a woman when she’s in trouble. She will remember you when she’s in trouble again.
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My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
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Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.
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Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.
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Television is a medium – anything well done is rare.
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Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Hump day already? Woo Hoo!
Tuesday was a good day here. Good and cold, but I went over to Texas early. I spent quite a while in the phone store, but I came away with a new phone plan for me and my stupid smart phone.
After that I went to Sam's for some goodies.
Then I went to that gun range. I was going to go down there on Monday, but they were closed on Monday, so I went Tuesday and got there at about 11:15. There was a sign on the door that said 'We will open at 12:20 today because of maintenance on the range.
I didn't want to hang around another hour, so I'll pick another day to go, but at least I found out where it is.
Have a super day everyone.
joe
~Robert Frost~
``````````````
Funny Sayings | Part 6 | Humorous and Crazy
Best first: It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
````
Whenever four New Yorkers get into a cab together with no arguing, a bank has just been robbed.
````
Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.
````
Hard work pays off in the future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.
````
Sometimes it’s time to lay on the couch and do nothing at all for two years.
````
Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? Me neither.
````
If the grass is greener on the other side, fair bet is, the water bill is higher too.
````
The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But we’ll get there eventually, once I’ve gone through the entire list.
````
Of course you’re not stupid. You just have bad luck when you think.
````
If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and a cat that will scorn you.
````
A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.
````
The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you’re trying to find your smartphone.
````
Help a woman when she’s in trouble. She will remember you when she’s in trouble again.
````
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
````
Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.
````
Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.
````
Television is a medium – anything well done is rare.
````
Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
Hump day already? Woo Hoo!
Tuesday was a good day here. Good and cold, but I went over to Texas early. I spent quite a while in the phone store, but I came away with a new phone plan for me and my stupid smart phone.
After that I went to Sam's for some goodies.
Then I went to that gun range. I was going to go down there on Monday, but they were closed on Monday, so I went Tuesday and got there at about 11:15. There was a sign on the door that said 'We will open at 12:20 today because of maintenance on the range.
I didn't want to hang around another hour, so I'll pick another day to go, but at least I found out where it is.
Have a super day everyone.
joe
Cake in the corner for you! I appreciate you more than you can ever imagine! 
Tomorrow's going to be another long day. I'm hoping it won't be too long. 
A Walmart and Big Lots trip this morning, 
then Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. 
Gerry...thank you so much for the coffee! Connie, stay warm! Venus, I too hope your day is not long! Unexpected day off for me today and I'll take full advantage of the situation with gardening, gaming, music and lots of rest.
