Posted By: gymcandy1
T*G*I*F Joe's - 04/18/19 10:55 PM
Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.
~Jimmy Fallon~
```````````````````````
Rockstar Life
The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop. Bass player Jared Followill couldn’t say how many birds there were. “The last thing I was going to do was look up,” he told CNN.
````
What’s the toughest part about writing a book? It’s deciding what to call it, as these finalists for the Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year prove.
Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter
An Intellectual History of Cannibalism
Father Christmas Needs a Wee!
Collectible Spoons of the 3rd Reich
The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
`````
Scary business headline:
“Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply for Job in Braille”
````
Safe Haven Small Animal Hospital
24 Hour Veterinary Service
Bill Mosley, DVM
200 E. Norway
936-4798
Hunters Welcome!
````
True Stories From Comic History
1940s
“Once in Virginia,” said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, “I passed a small church displaying a large sign.
It read ‘Annual Strawberry Festival’ and, below in small letters, ‘On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'”
–Boston Transcript
1950s
The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, “To stay out of trouble, say ‘Yes, sir’ all day and ‘No, sir’ all night.”
–Anonymous
1960s
A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. “Maybe it’s our long hair,” I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: “Going to the barber’s.” Within seconds we had our ride.
–Raymond Butkus
1970s
A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women’s lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, “Adam was a rough draft,” proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: “Eve was no prime rib.”
–Phyllis Reely
1980s
While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl’s hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. “What do you think?” he asked his girlfriend.
“Take them off!” she howled. “They make you look ridiculous.”
–Audrey Kelly
1990s
My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. “How do you get out of here?” Jim asked.
The fellow smiled and said, “No cheese for you.”
–Christine Probasco
2000s
I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, “Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds.”
“Sweetheart,” my mother gently chided, “this is not the Internet.”
–M.M.
````
Coincidences were flying when a man was arrested and charged with stealing a bird feeder from Cornell University’s ornithology laboratory. According to the Associated Press, police charged James Buzzard, 44, who lives on Cardinal Drive in Ithaca, N.Y., with stealing the feeder from the lab on Sapsucker Woods Road.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
Is it really Friday?
Seems like just yesterday morning it was Thursday. Time sure does fly.
Do you know it has been 3 years already since Prince died? I thought that was last year!
We had storms all night long last night, and a whole bunch of rain.
A whole bunch of rain, and very little sleep. Missy was beside me shaking all night.
Time for a nuther trip to the farm.
Tomorrow's gonna be cool. Sunny and 66 degrees with 16mph wind. I may need a jacket, but it could be a nice day for it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
PS: Oh yeah. Been watching that GOT..........SHAME!.........SHAME!.........SHAME!........SHAME!!!.......
~Jimmy Fallon~
```````````````````````
Rockstar Life
The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop. Bass player Jared Followill couldn’t say how many birds there were. “The last thing I was going to do was look up,” he told CNN.
````
What’s the toughest part about writing a book? It’s deciding what to call it, as these finalists for the Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year prove.
Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter
An Intellectual History of Cannibalism
Father Christmas Needs a Wee!
Collectible Spoons of the 3rd Reich
The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
`````
Scary business headline:
“Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply for Job in Braille”
````
Safe Haven Small Animal Hospital
24 Hour Veterinary Service
Bill Mosley, DVM
200 E. Norway
936-4798
Hunters Welcome!
````
True Stories From Comic History
1940s
“Once in Virginia,” said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, “I passed a small church displaying a large sign.
It read ‘Annual Strawberry Festival’ and, below in small letters, ‘On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'”
–Boston Transcript
1950s
The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, “To stay out of trouble, say ‘Yes, sir’ all day and ‘No, sir’ all night.”
–Anonymous
1960s
A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. “Maybe it’s our long hair,” I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: “Going to the barber’s.” Within seconds we had our ride.
–Raymond Butkus
1970s
A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women’s lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, “Adam was a rough draft,” proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: “Eve was no prime rib.”
–Phyllis Reely
1980s
While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl’s hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. “What do you think?” he asked his girlfriend.
“Take them off!” she howled. “They make you look ridiculous.”
–Audrey Kelly
1990s
My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. “How do you get out of here?” Jim asked.
The fellow smiled and said, “No cheese for you.”
–Christine Probasco
2000s
I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, “Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds.”
“Sweetheart,” my mother gently chided, “this is not the Internet.”
–M.M.
````
Coincidences were flying when a man was arrested and charged with stealing a bird feeder from Cornell University’s ornithology laboratory. According to the Associated Press, police charged James Buzzard, 44, who lives on Cardinal Drive in Ithaca, N.Y., with stealing the feeder from the lab on Sapsucker Woods Road.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
Is it really Friday?
Seems like just yesterday morning it was Thursday. Time sure does fly.
Do you know it has been 3 years already since Prince died? I thought that was last year!
We had storms all night long last night, and a whole bunch of rain.
A whole bunch of rain, and very little sleep. Missy was beside me shaking all night.
Time for a nuther trip to the farm.
Tomorrow's gonna be cool. Sunny and 66 degrees with 16mph wind. I may need a jacket, but it could be a nice day for it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
PS: Oh yeah. Been watching that GOT..........SHAME!.........SHAME!.........SHAME!........SHAME!!!.......
I'm glad you pulled yourself away from GoT and post, Joe! I hope the storms were enough to unearth some treasures! 
Wishing everyone a peaceful and blessed Good Friday! 
