Posted By: gymcandy1
Joe's Tuesday - 04/29/19 11:42 PM
Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?
~Neil DeGrasse Tyson~
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Travel Jokes
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
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Q: Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
A: Because it was overbooked.
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Q: What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves?
A: The road!
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I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my satnav said, “In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.”
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We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
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I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.
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My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport.
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When will pigs fly? When we launch them to mars for the astronauts to have bacon!
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Some Dog Jokes
Q. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A. Because they have two left feet!
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Q. How do dog catchers get paid?
A. By the pound!
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Q: What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?
A: They barium!
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Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A Bulldog.
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Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!
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Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
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Q: What do you call a cold dog?
A: A Chilli Dog.
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Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!
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Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles!
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Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the Tuesday edition of Joe's Diner.
I'm getting geared up for more rain here. We have great rain chances for the next two weeks..........which is not great.
It looks like the May flowers will be getting lots of May rain.
Maybe we'll have June flowers.
Maybe if I stand out in the rain we'll have a bunch of blooming Lilleys.
Maybe then I would get some grand children.
Maybe baby, I'll have you-hoo hoo.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~Neil DeGrasse Tyson~
``````````````````````````````````
Travel Jokes
I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
````
Q: Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
A: Because it was overbooked.
````
Q: What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves?
A: The road!
````
I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my satnav said, “In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.”
````
We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
````
I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.
````
My cat constantly looks at me like I asked her to give me a ride to the airport.
````
When will pigs fly? When we launch them to mars for the astronauts to have bacon!
````
Some Dog Jokes
Q. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A. Because they have two left feet!
````
Q. How do dog catchers get paid?
A. By the pound!
````
Q: What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?
A: They barium!
````
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A Bulldog.
````
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!
````
Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
````
Q: What do you call a cold dog?
A: A Chilli Dog.
````
Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!
````
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles!
````
Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.
````
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the Tuesday edition of Joe's Diner.
I'm getting geared up for more rain here. We have great rain chances for the next two weeks..........which is not great.
It looks like the May flowers will be getting lots of May rain.
Maybe we'll have June flowers.
Maybe if I stand out in the rain we'll have a bunch of blooming Lilleys.
Maybe then I would get some grand children.
Maybe baby, I'll have you-hoo hoo.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
and a Happy Tuesay to you as well.
Happy Tuesday to you and enjoy your Tv shows ..
sounds like you need a good Umbrella...P.s your woodland flowers sound lovely.
and Kaki's Sister 
after reading info and ringing Hospitals - i've got an appointment at our local Hospital which is near to have the steroid injection on the May 10th...according too what we read on the internet the injection is the standard precedure too treat this, but my hubby is coming with me in the room to make sure the doctor gets it in the right spot.
