Posted By: gymcandy1
T*G*I*F - 07/12/19 12:25 AM
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
~Dennis Wholey~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
~~~~
2. Why was the little strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam.
~~~~
3. What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
~~~~
4. Why are frogs are so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
~~~~
5. How do you befriend a squirrel?
Just act like a nut.
~~~~
6. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
No? Really? It’s making headlines!
~~~~
7. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
It was craving a well-balanced meal.
~~~~
8. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
Lookin’ a little pail there.
~~~~
9. Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.
~~~~
10. What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
~~~~
11. Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
~~~~
12. What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
~~~~
13. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
Throw a coconut at their face.
~~~~
14. What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool?
Bob.
~~~~
15. What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs.
~~~~
16. How does a duck buy lipstick?
She just puts it on her bill.
~~~~
17.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
~~~~
18. What did the cop say to his stomach?
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!
~~~~
19. What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
Puddle.
~~~~
20. What do you do with a sick boat?
Take is to the doc already.
~~~~
21. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
Oh, snap!
~~~~
22. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man.
~~~~
23. What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish?
Well this tastes a little funny.
~~~~
24. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
Make a seizure salad.
~~~~
25. What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
But you’re way too young to smoke!
~~~~
26. Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
A mermaid, of course.
~~~~
27. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
Frisbee.
~~~~
28. Which plant rules the garden?
The dande-lion.
~~~~
29. Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
He had no body to go with him.
~~~~
30. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
Shoe!
~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Another day, another bucket of sweat.
I really didn't allow myself to get that hot actually. Stayed inside except for going parking with Missy early on.
Making sure I get my exercise, and gaming. That's my agenda.
Missy keeps an keen watch out the window to make sure no one sneaks up on us uninvited.
I hope your day is a great one.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
~Dennis Wholey~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
~~~~
2. Why was the little strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam.
~~~~
3. What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
~~~~
4. Why are frogs are so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
~~~~
5. How do you befriend a squirrel?
Just act like a nut.
~~~~
6. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?
No? Really? It’s making headlines!
~~~~
7. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
It was craving a well-balanced meal.
~~~~
8. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
Lookin’ a little pail there.
~~~~
9. Why do chicken coups always have two doors?
With four, they’d be chicken sedans.
~~~~
10. What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
~~~~
11. Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
~~~~
12. What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little hoarse.
~~~~
13. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
Throw a coconut at their face.
~~~~
14. What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool?
Bob.
~~~~
15. What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs.
~~~~
16. How does a duck buy lipstick?
She just puts it on her bill.
~~~~
17.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
~~~~
18. What did the cop say to his stomach?
Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!
~~~~
19. What do you call a snowman on a hot day?
Puddle.
~~~~
20. What do you do with a sick boat?
Take is to the doc already.
~~~~
21. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
Oh, snap!
~~~~
22. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man.
~~~~
23. What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish?
Well this tastes a little funny.
~~~~
24. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
Make a seizure salad.
~~~~
25. What did the older chimney say to the younger one?
But you’re way too young to smoke!
~~~~
26. Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning?
A mermaid, of course.
~~~~
27. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day?
Frisbee.
~~~~
28. Which plant rules the garden?
The dande-lion.
~~~~
29. Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?
He had no body to go with him.
~~~~
30. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop?
Shoe!
~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Another day, another bucket of sweat.
I really didn't allow myself to get that hot actually. Stayed inside except for going parking with Missy early on.
Making sure I get my exercise, and gaming. That's my agenda.
Missy keeps an keen watch out the window to make sure no one sneaks up on us uninvited.
I hope your day is a great one.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
Have a Great Friday everyone! 
