Posted By: gymcandy1
Sunday's - 09/15/19 12:16 AM
There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.
~ Jane Austen ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten Ways In Which You Know You Are Over the Hill
1 You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2 You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3 At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4 Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
5 The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
6 It takes twice as long to look half as good.
7 You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
8 'Getting lucky' means you remember where you left your car in the car park.
9 The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
10 You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.
~~~~
A Lovely Retirement Poem
Train of Life
Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.
They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their head and cry.
But I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.
So strap me to the engine,
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.
I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.
I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.
Because I just wanna
know what it feels like
So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front, and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.
It's all right to remember,
That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.
The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.
It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You gotta drive the train!
~~~~
Examples of Funny Senior Moments
Archie
Archie, aged 88, has a problem with his house. It has two storeys. It has stairs. When he use the stairs, Archie stops midway to catch his breath. His main problem is that, when he is ready to start again, Archie is unable to remember whether he was going upstairs or downstairs.
Old Hat
A letter to a national UK newspaper in the 1950's declared: 'My grandfather, who is 87, has been converted to nudism. He sits all day long in the greenhouse without a stitch on except for his hat. When I asked him what he wants with a hat on if he's a nudist he hits out at me with his walking stick and hollers, "Because I'm bald."
A Hand for the Bash
In his later life, a former Bishop of Lincoln, UK, found himself having difficulty rising from a park bench where he had stopped to take the weight off his feet. After struggling ineffectively, he was delighted when a little girl offered a helping hand.
'That's very kind of you my dear,' he told her, 'But are you really strong enough?'
'Oh yes, the child retorted, 'I've often helped my daddy when he was much drunker than you.'
~~~~
Quotations Which May Make You Smile, Laugh, Guffaw or Even Cry
Apparently this is a true story:
When WC Fields, the actor, was in his dotage he was seen to be reading the Bible by a close friend who demanded to know what he was looking for.
'Loopholes, dear boy, loopholes,' murmured Fields.
Old George, told Guy only last week that, 'I'm not 80 - I'm merely 28 with 52 years' experience.'
Growing old is like being penalized for a crime you haven't committed.
Will says, 'I don't drink anymore, I can get the same feeling from standing up quickly.'
Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough. - Groucho Marx
During a tour in South Wales, UK, playing to the former mining communities with enormous success. Dame Sybil Thorndike found herself at a reception at a place called Tenby in Dyfed, Wales.
She was introduced to the assembly as the guest of honour by a rather senile vicar who said, ' I am delighted to have the pleasure of welcoming to our town Dame Sybil, a famous member of the oldest profession in the world.'
~~~~
Good Sunny Day morning everyboomie.
It's plenty sunny here anyway. 98 degrees today.
Ana it's a long story with a lot of details, which are quickly fading, but I returned my iPhone, and I'm not sure yet but I may send the computer back as well.
Apple didn't send me the trade-in kit with the new phone. When I called them basically they told me they could only give me a store credit instead of credit back on my card. Not acceptable to me so I returned it, and now, with my trade-in, I can order the iPhone 11 for the same price that I was originally going to pay for the iPhone XR, before they dropped the price.
I was lied to by two different ladies though who told me they would send me a trade-in kit, and didn't. This all took place over 2 days of calling them.
The computer I'm just not that excited about.....for the amount I paid.
I've gotta download some games and try them out first.
Have a happy day everyone, because...FOOTBALL!!!!!
joe
~ Jane Austen ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten Ways In Which You Know You Are Over the Hill
1 You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2 You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3 At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4 Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
5 The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
6 It takes twice as long to look half as good.
7 You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
8 'Getting lucky' means you remember where you left your car in the car park.
9 The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
10 You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.
~~~~
A Lovely Retirement Poem
Train of Life
Some folks ride the train of life
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.
They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And curse their life for what it was,
And hang their head and cry.
But I don't concern myself with that,
I took a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.
So strap me to the engine,
As securely as I can be,
I want to be out on the front,
To see what I can see.
I want to feel the winds of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place.
I want to see what's coming up,
Not looking at the past,
Life's too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.
Because I just wanna
know what it feels like
So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front, and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.
It's all right to remember,
That's part of history,
But up front's where it's happening,
There's so much mystery.
The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It's looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.
It's searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You gotta drive the train!
~~~~
Examples of Funny Senior Moments
Archie
Archie, aged 88, has a problem with his house. It has two storeys. It has stairs. When he use the stairs, Archie stops midway to catch his breath. His main problem is that, when he is ready to start again, Archie is unable to remember whether he was going upstairs or downstairs.
Old Hat
A letter to a national UK newspaper in the 1950's declared: 'My grandfather, who is 87, has been converted to nudism. He sits all day long in the greenhouse without a stitch on except for his hat. When I asked him what he wants with a hat on if he's a nudist he hits out at me with his walking stick and hollers, "Because I'm bald."
A Hand for the Bash
In his later life, a former Bishop of Lincoln, UK, found himself having difficulty rising from a park bench where he had stopped to take the weight off his feet. After struggling ineffectively, he was delighted when a little girl offered a helping hand.
'That's very kind of you my dear,' he told her, 'But are you really strong enough?'
'Oh yes, the child retorted, 'I've often helped my daddy when he was much drunker than you.'
~~~~
Quotations Which May Make You Smile, Laugh, Guffaw or Even Cry
Apparently this is a true story:
When WC Fields, the actor, was in his dotage he was seen to be reading the Bible by a close friend who demanded to know what he was looking for.
'Loopholes, dear boy, loopholes,' murmured Fields.
Old George, told Guy only last week that, 'I'm not 80 - I'm merely 28 with 52 years' experience.'
Growing old is like being penalized for a crime you haven't committed.
Will says, 'I don't drink anymore, I can get the same feeling from standing up quickly.'
Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough. - Groucho Marx
During a tour in South Wales, UK, playing to the former mining communities with enormous success. Dame Sybil Thorndike found herself at a reception at a place called Tenby in Dyfed, Wales.
She was introduced to the assembly as the guest of honour by a rather senile vicar who said, ' I am delighted to have the pleasure of welcoming to our town Dame Sybil, a famous member of the oldest profession in the world.'
~~~~
Good Sunny Day morning everyboomie.
It's plenty sunny here anyway. 98 degrees today.
Ana it's a long story with a lot of details, which are quickly fading, but I returned my iPhone, and I'm not sure yet but I may send the computer back as well.
Apple didn't send me the trade-in kit with the new phone. When I called them basically they told me they could only give me a store credit instead of credit back on my card. Not acceptable to me so I returned it, and now, with my trade-in, I can order the iPhone 11 for the same price that I was originally going to pay for the iPhone XR, before they dropped the price.
I was lied to by two different ladies though who told me they would send me a trade-in kit, and didn't. This all took place over 2 days of calling them.
The computer I'm just not that excited about.....for the amount I paid.
I've gotta download some games and try them out first.
Have a happy day everyone, because...FOOTBALL!!!!!
joe
Enjoy your Sunday Boomers! 
at the Surgeon on Wednesday. 
