Posted By: gymcandy1
Joe's Late Diner July 13th - 07/13/20 03:43 PM
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Dennis Wholey
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”
~~
Q: Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
A: He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.
~~
It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed. Nobody wants a loyal snake. —Roy Blount, humorist
~~
Q: How are a cat and a sentence different?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
~~
Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost
~~
Q: What did the SNAIL say while riding on the turtles back?
A: Wheeeeeeeee
~~
Q: What is the best way to cook a gator?
A: In a crock-pot
~~
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle.
A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?" ...... "Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.
"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?"
"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.
~~
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
~~
On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?”
Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.”
~~
Q: Why did the pig have ink all over its face?
A: Because it came out of the pen.
~~
A college girl was visiting my farm and noticed the ring in our bull's nose.
Intrigued, she asked, "Did you put that ring in his nose or was he born that way?"
~~
Why do cows never have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!
~~
A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big "S" on the side to show everyone the car is his.
While he's flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch.
As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, " Look at that S-Car-Go!"
~~
A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster.
The offspring were the laughing stock of the community!
~~
Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An Investigator!
~~
Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: "Dam!"
~~
Q: What happened when the frog's car broke down on the side of the road?
A: It gets toad away.
~~
Q: What's the smartest animal?
A: A fish. They practically live in schools.
~~
Q: Why did the whale cross the street?
A: To get to the other tide.
~~
My email password has been hacked.
That's the third time I've had to rename my cat.
~~
Q. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A. A walkie-talkie!
~~
Q. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks!
~~
Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?
A: A flea market!
~~
Good morning everyboomie.
How is life treating everyone today?
Sorry about the goofy grin, I'm just happy. Don't know why. I was just daydreaming about Fall, maybe that's it.
We are slated to hit 101 today. I think it'll be higher than that. Those weather guys almost always undershoot their estimates.
This heat has stimulated my itch for a cold brew. Well there may be another reason I have a goofy grin on my face.
So what are you guys drinking for breakfast?
I still have not gotten back in exercise mode. I need a real kick in the behind.
Just don't kick the silly grin off my face. It kinda feels good.
Have a great week everyone.
joe
Dennis Wholey
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”
~~
Q: Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
A: He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.
~~
It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed. Nobody wants a loyal snake. —Roy Blount, humorist
~~
Q: How are a cat and a sentence different?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
~~
Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost
~~
Q: What did the SNAIL say while riding on the turtles back?
A: Wheeeeeeeee
~~
Q: What is the best way to cook a gator?
A: In a crock-pot
~~
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle.
A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?" ...... "Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.
"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?"
"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.
~~
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
~~
On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?”
Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.”
~~
Q: Why did the pig have ink all over its face?
A: Because it came out of the pen.
~~
A college girl was visiting my farm and noticed the ring in our bull's nose.
Intrigued, she asked, "Did you put that ring in his nose or was he born that way?"
~~
Why do cows never have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry!
~~
A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big "S" on the side to show everyone the car is his.
While he's flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch.
As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, " Look at that S-Car-Go!"
~~
A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster.
The offspring were the laughing stock of the community!
~~
Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A: An Investigator!
~~
Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: "Dam!"
~~
Q: What happened when the frog's car broke down on the side of the road?
A: It gets toad away.
~~
Q: What's the smartest animal?
A: A fish. They practically live in schools.
~~
Q: Why did the whale cross the street?
A: To get to the other tide.
~~
My email password has been hacked.
That's the third time I've had to rename my cat.
~~
Q. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A. A walkie-talkie!
~~
Q. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks!
~~
Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?
A: A flea market!
~~
Good morning everyboomie.
How is life treating everyone today?
Sorry about the goofy grin, I'm just happy. Don't know why. I was just daydreaming about Fall, maybe that's it.
We are slated to hit 101 today. I think it'll be higher than that. Those weather guys almost always undershoot their estimates.
This heat has stimulated my itch for a cold brew. Well there may be another reason I have a goofy grin on my face.
So what are you guys drinking for breakfast?
I still have not gotten back in exercise mode. I need a real kick in the behind.
Just don't kick the silly grin off my face. It kinda feels good.
Have a great week everyone.
joe
Blood is showing signs of beginning to make new blood cells. But anemia has gotten a little worse since last time. 
Hope everyone stays safe and has a Hppy Day! 
, Ana 
- thanking you, Looney 
, Family 
& Kaki's sister 
- Wishing you all a happy healty day and be safe all:D
.... That night i slept well.
Yes, the half days will work just fine ... have a good evening!
Working in the greenhouse sounds rewarding, have a lovely time and beat that heat. 
Most cerntainly! May your week go quickly, cause before we know it will be the weekend again - sleep well. 