GB HOMEPAGE

Oct 26th In the Diner

Posted By: gymcandy1

Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/26/20 03:42 PM

Whoever said “It’s not whether you win or lose that counts” probably lost. —

~Martina Navratilova~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Funny Headlines


SUV Crashes Into House After Suffering Seizure

—Source: Great Falls Tribune (Montana);
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Police Arrest Naked Man With Concealed Weapon

—Source: MSNBC.com;
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Painfully Funny Obituaries

You’d die of embarrassment if these phrases appeared in your obituary:

“She leaves behind a brother and 117 cats.”

“Passed away in a failed stunt that has already been viewed more than 40 million times on YouTube.”

“Was always quick to point out others’ grammatical errors.”

“Survived by his parents and his animatronic wife, Elizabot.”
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Harry Potter Sequels

After J. K. Rowling announced that she might write a Harry Potter sequel—he was last seen as a married dad—The Week asked its readers to predict the title of the next book. Here’s what they divined:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fiber

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Ask-Your-Mom

Harry Potter and the Financial Portfolio of Doom

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone

Harry Potter and the Quest to Buy a House in the Hogwarts School District

Harry Potter and the Quidditch Mom
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Home Selling Mistakes

It’s tough enough selling a home nowadays. Don’t make the mistakes that turned off these readers on the City Room blog of The New York Times:

• "It was a good house, well-maintained. But the bed with the person in it was off-putting."

• "The family dog, long departed, was stuffed and standing next to the fireplace. RIP Sparky."

• "The main distraction was dirt. Although there was the tiny child who proudly showed us the refrigerator full of ‘Daddy’s beer’ just outside an upstairs bedroom."

I've since moved that fridge to the kitchen
~~

Blame Canada

Canada wants us to remember that it, too, is part of North America. So The Week asked its readers to come up with an eye-catching slogan for our neighbor to the north.

Canada: Where Your Cold Front Begins

Canada: It’s Not Just for Draft Dodgers Anymore

Canada: Land of Cheaper Drugs

Canada: Where Winter Spends the Summer
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Cause and Effect in the News

A newspaper editor missed this headline: "State population to double by 2040; babies to blame."
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Rockstar Life

The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop.

Bass player Jared Followill couldn't say how many birds there were. "The last thing I was going to do was look up," he told CNN.
~~

Adventures in Title Writing

What's the toughest part about writing a book? It's deciding what to call it, as these finalists for the Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year prove.

Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter

An Intellectual History of Cannibalism

Father Christmas Needs a Wee!

Collectible Spoons of the 3rd Reich

The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
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Help Wanted

Scary business headline: "Air Traffic Controllers Can Apply for Job in Braille"
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Safe Haven

Safe Haven Small Animal Hospital 24 Hour Veterinary Service Bill Mosley, DVM 200 E. Norway 936-4798 Hunters Welcome!
~~

True Stories From Comic History

1940s "Once in Virginia," said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, "I passed a small church displaying a large sign. It read 'Annual Strawberry Festival' and, below in small letters, 'On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'"

--Boston Transcript 1950s The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, "To stay out of trouble, say 'Yes, sir' all day and 'No, sir' all night."

--Anonymous 1960s A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride.

--Raymond Butkus 1970s A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, "Adam was a rough draft," proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: "Eve was no prime rib." -

-Phyllis Reely 1980s While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. "What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend. "Take them off!" she howled. "They make you look ridiculous."

--Audrey Kelly 1990s My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked. The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you."

--Christine Probasco 2000s I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet." --M.M.
~~

Bird Lover

Coincidences were flying when a man was arrested and charged with stealing a bird feeder from Cornell University's ornithology laboratory. According to the Associated Press, police charged James Buzzard, 44, who lives on Cardinal Drive in Ithaca, N.Y., with stealing the feeder from the lab on Sapsucker Woods Road.
~~


Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Sorry, it's getting harder and harder to find funny headlines. wink


These are all great ones though. Probably the greatest ever posted. thumbsup


We are having rain in the 40s here this morning. That way all week I think.


Yesterday was a horrible day (football-wise), but at least I walked over 17,000 steps and over 6 miles. All on my treadmill.


This morning I got on my scales and saw 170s (179lbs specifically) for the first time since last Summer I think. bravo


Yesterday afternoon I was 188lbs actually, but it was mostly from drinking a lot of water..........and beer. lol


Have a pleasant week, Ana, L4L, Soot, Family, Connie, Gerry, Mary, TaintedFury, SpaceQuestFan, ManXman, ButterFlyBabe, Trail_Mystic, MaG and everyone. urock


joe
Posted By: butterflybabe

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/26/20 05:18 PM

I had hoped to have another week before needing to clear out garage for my car before bad weather hit but no such luck. Last year was enough of a shock when it snowed on Halloween. Didn't have to wait that long this year. Couldn't believe my eyes to see snow falling this morning. razz

Sadly, cry put away my summer lawn decos thumbsdown

Oh, well... grin
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/26/20 06:33 PM

Oh, gosh, butterfly, I'm just back from my run and it was in the 80's. They are saying it will stay there until Friday when we will get 60's.

I have book cooking to do today, and maybe some cooking and perhaps some puzzle solving. Or maybe I'll just go to bed and take a nap puppy
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/27/20 12:19 AM

same thing.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/27/20 03:01 AM

Thanks for a new week, Joe! Well done on your steps! That is awesome!

butterflybabe, it's that time of year here! The snow was pretty this morning!

L4L, 80's. lol I walked over 11 miles in the snow and cold today. Trade you!

family, enjoy!
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/27/20 11:12 AM

Good morning, enjoy the day. Lunch out and shopping with a friend today. Still going to be 90 today, but should cool down a bit this weekend. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/27/20 01:22 PM

Good morning Connie Ana Family ButterFlyBabe and Joe ... Tootin Toosday to all of you laugh

Oh my Connie, I am thinking you are ready for some fall weather ... stay safe at lunch and shopping ... I'll have a Danish to go on my way to work

11 miles Ana shocked ... you are burning some major calories!

Family, enjoy your shows

Yeppers ButterFlyBabe ... it's that time of the year with winter just around the corner

Wow Joe! Six miles is great ... keep it up

L4L hearts

It's time to get work rolling ... Joe Ana Family Connie ButterFlyBabe and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi -- Have a great Toosday!

wave2

lab
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/27/20 02:34 PM

Good morning and Terrific Tuesday puppy

Seems Hurricane Zeta is supposed to go right through our place later in the week. Hopefully, it will be considerably weakened by the time it gets to us as we don't live on the coast.

Heading out in a bit to walk in the park. Tomorrow and Thursday I may not be able to because of Zeta, so gotta go while I can.

Ana, my hat is off to you. I used to love to play in the snow with my Solo, and we could be out there for a long time, but I don't think we went that far.

Have a great day wavegirl
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/27/20 11:05 PM

I so miss snow, having been born and raised in New Jersey. I moved to Florida in 1963, and haven't been back since 1970.
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 01:08 AM

same thing.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 03:11 AM

Hope you are safe in the ice storm, Joe!

connie, you should take a vacation North in the winter!

L4L, I hope the storm is greatly diminished by the time it gets to you.

soot, that is my normal day. Today was 30,807 steps - 12.5 miles. smile I go through a lot of shoes! lol I hope this work week is easier for you!
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 11:16 AM

Good morning, enjoy the day. Ana, that's what I keep telling my boys. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 12:22 PM

Oh my Ana, I'll bet you do go through a lot of shoes shocked

Connie, I see cooler temps in store for you in the upcoming days ... no more 90s after tomorrow ... I'll grab a Danish to go please

Family, enjoy your shows

L4L hearts

Happy Camel Day Joe Ana Family Connie L4L and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 03:03 PM

Good morning Connie, Soot, Ana, and everyone. wave2

Connie I'll have some great, fattening, biscuits and sausage gravy please. bravo

Ana, almost 31,000 steps? WOW! I upped my walking, but you really upped yours. I know it's your job, but good for you!! I get to walk mine inside away from the cold. I can't even imagine walking that outside when it's that cold. praise

My feet are not taking it very well either.

No ice here though, although we never left the 30s yesterday, Today is in the 40s. It seems like we went straight from a warm Fall, straight to Winter, although Winter is still almost 2 months away. shocked

Soot I hope you guys are not in the path of this latest storm. Stay safe. wink

Have a fantastic day everyone. thumbsup

joe
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 03:32 PM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Haven't stuck my head out the door, but I may be riding the bike as I think it's raining outside and I don't feel like being wet. :insert whiny baby emoji here:

That will be fine as I have lots and lots of things to do today and riding the bike is not as tiring as hitting the hills.

My legs would fall off if I did 30K steps a day, though it would be great cos then I could eat any and everything that hit my fancy rotfl

Ana, what brand of shoes do you use? Or does it vary?

No ice here, either, Joe. They are talking 40's to 60's later in the week.

Thanks Joe. The storm is projected to plow right through the middle of us, but we live a long way from the coast, so prayerfully the trees will NOT FALL on the house or cars and the power will stay on. We shall know by this time tomorrow.

Connie, I'm heading for the hash browns!

Have a great one ya'll wavegirl
Posted By: butterflybabe

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/28/20 05:09 PM

Yes, falling snow is pretty - except when I have to drive in it. car I don't care if it blizzards, as long as I'm home safe and warm. woot lol
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 12:42 AM

Hello everyone and happy Thursday to one and all laugh

I am posting tonight as not sure we'll have power tomorrow with Hurricane Zeta due to pass 40 west of us at 1 AM with 65 MPH winds and gusts of 85

ButterFlyBabe ... I miss the snow as spent many years as a kid playing in it ... didn't have the challenges adults face wink

Joe, it won't be passing directly over us but it will be too close for my liking eek

Family, enjoy your shows

Connie, I look forward to biscuits and gravy with bacon on the side

See you all tomorrow

[Linked Image]
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 01:54 AM

L4L, I wear Xero shoes. I cannot wear shoes with even a 1mm drop so my shoe choices are very limited and very expensive. smile
Stay safe in the storm!

Joe, I'm so glad you didn't get the damage from the ice storm. It looks horrible!

soot, sending prayers and positive thoughts your way! Hope the storm lessens!
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 10:59 AM

Good morning, have a Lovely day. Soot prayers, the storm passed you with no damage or loss of power. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 12:20 PM

same thing and football.
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 05:22 PM

Hello Connie, and Family, Ana, and everybody. wave2

L4L and Soot I hope you guys are safe and sound. I'm also hoping you still have power, although your absence from the board may be the harbinger of bad news on that front. Praying you're all okay. yes

Connie I would like 2 eggs over easy, with sausage, and hash browns and wheat toast please. happydance YUM!

Ana I.m loving your pictures. I hope you're getting some warmer weather. hearts

We have some sunshine today for the first time in 6 months. snicker

Well it seems that long anyway. lol

Today I'm just cleaning and working out. Haven't been doing anything but walking on my treadmill for several days. I walked over 7 miles yesterday. bravo

I'm just trying to stay on my feet and off my behind, you know? happydance

So I wish everyone a fantastic day.

I'm off to scrape up lunch. wink


joe
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 07:45 PM

Hello Boomers, we survived laugh

We lost power at 1 AM last night and got power back at high noon .. We lost three small trees and a grand old giant at the bottom of our lot in the high winds sad

All is good ... lots of outside work to clean up in the days ahead

Wow, 7 miles is great Joe

Ana, I understand the shoe aspect ... they are important for someone in your trade

Connie, thanks for keeping the NC stocked ... got a Danish on the way out the door to work this morning

Family, enjoy your shows.

wave

lab
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 08:21 PM

Well, we made it through the night. Turns out the "thunder" I heard was an enormous tree falling across 2 fences. Good thing we don't let Lil Soot out back as the fence is gone with a capital G.

We got our power back a little while ago. Happy to join the 21st century again. Our house is a bit "dim" without artificial lights.

Off to play for a bit. wavegirl
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/29/20 11:30 PM

same thing .
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/30/20 01:31 AM

Soot and L4L I'm so glad you guys are ok and have your power back. bravo

Sorry about your trees.

joe
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/30/20 03:20 AM

Today was an insanely busy, long day and I walked 40,500 steps aka 16.5 miles. Tomorrow will be half that, thank goodness!

Good to see you on soot and L4L! :cheer: Sorry to hear about the trees. I hate losing something that so long to grow back. sad
Hope you can get a new fence quickly!


be back...
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/30/20 10:54 AM

Good morning, enjoy your TGIF. L4L and Soot, I'm glad you have your power back and are safe. I'm glad damage was minimal. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/30/20 11:57 AM

Good morning everyone! It's good to have Zeta behind us and electricity with us wink

Connie, I'm ready for a large platter with all the fixings from the NC

Ana, it's good to hear you get a break today with only half the steps

Joe, have a good workout

Family, enjoy your shows

L4L hearts

Have a winning Friday Family Joe Ana Connie L4L and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/30/20 02:04 PM

Fantastic Friday puppy

It's cool in AL...only in the 50's with a high of 60's though with 10-20 mph winds. I'll be heading out to challenge the hills today. Long pants and long sleeve shirt time lol

Turns out our big tree went through 4 yards and did crush a shed in the final yard, but no one was hurt.


I'm thinking it's time to get our trees evaluated and some of them taken down, perhaps. That will make me very sad as I love love love my trees. I shall have to consult an arborist who knows more than I do.

I'm not expecting anyone for Halloween this year, but again, we shall see.

Ya'll have a great day wavegirl
Posted By: butterflybabe

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/30/20 04:53 PM

Soot, my best to everyone in Alabama. I've lived thru a fire and a flood; hope nothing worse threatens my home.

Fall weather making its way thru with colder weather, but love the sunshine.
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 01:12 AM

sports and chores.
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 11:40 AM

Good morning enjoy your weekend. Shopping is on the agenda today. Becky gets to go to doggie daycare on Sat. and play with other dogs, while we shop. It's the highlight of her week. I don't drive, so I can't take her to the dog park during the week. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. Happy Halloween. pumpkin witch zombie
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 02:11 PM

Good morning Connie Family ButterFlyBabe and L4L pumpkin

Connie, have fun shopping and stay safe ... I'll have a Danish to go for my errands

Family, hope you have some good games

ButterFlyBabe, wishing you smooth sailing in the weeks, months and years ahead

Happy Halloween everybody witch

Off to do projects, chores and more yes

wave

lab
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 02:22 PM

Good morning Connie, Family, and everyone. Welcome to the weekend! yay

It's a mostly sunny morning here. Very cold but warming up to the 60s later. woot

Yesterday was near perfect after it warmed up.

Connie enjoy your shopping, and Becky her day at the doggie day care. Nothing like that around here for Missy. I'm not sure she would enjoy it though. puppy

I would love some biscuits and gravy please. I've been starving myself and I've got down to 176 pounds. Yaaaa! penguin

I'm hungry! razz

L4L I really miss all the trees from Mom and Dad's place, which is one reason I planted a couple here, but I don't miss the mountains of leaves I had to deal with, or the damage caused by one of them falling over, or the large limbs that would fall off of them. yes

Enjoy your cool run. woot

Soot are you having to spend your day cleaning up after the storm? I hope not.

Family enjoy your sports, and take it easy on the chores, ok? wink

Ana I guess you're working this weekend? I hope you have good weather for your walking with the fur babies. lab

Have a great day everyone.


joe



Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 02:24 PM

Happy Halloween Ya'll witch puppy

Only supposed to be in the 60's today, so I have time to sit and surf and sip for a bit before imitating a hamster at the park.

Alabama still has many many folks without electricity. We were blessed to get ours back so quickly.

Not sure what I'll do today other than jalk.

Have a wonderful day all wavegirl
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 04:21 PM

Well I completely forgot Halloween......my favorite yearly event, but then it's not so much fun anymore. I can't trick or treat myself any more, unfortunately, and I don't even get trick or treaters here. razz

I still love the time of year best though. yay

Also, speaking of time, it's time for a change this weekend. Tonight to be exact. thumbsup

Today happens to be my nephew's birthday. yes

I'm off to the park with Missy. lab


joe
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 10/31/20 11:48 PM

football and chores.
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/01/20 12:15 PM

Good morning, enjoy your Sunday. Breakfast out this morning. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, French Toast, Bacon, Sausage, Waffles, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/01/20 05:22 PM

Happy November 1st everyone ... Wow!! shocked ... working chores and projects since waking at 4 ... but we did get our hour back today woot

Connie, I am ready for a plate of eggs (sunny side up), grits, hash browns, biscuits and gravy in the NC ... enjoy your breakfast out and stay safe

Hey Ho Family ... enjoy the day and games

Joe ... wish you nephew a Happy Birthday from WOM and I ... no trick or treaters here either ... neighborhood kids are all grown and the great circle of life continues to churn ... I will chip away at picking up branches from our "Back to Nature backyard" this week ... it is completely wild! WOM wants to clear some of the dense forest ... yesterday son, grandson and I worked on clearing the roof and gutters of branches and finishing the front yard ... son and grandson had already started picking up branches from the front and back while I was at work Friday

L4L hearts

Have a great day Joe Family Connie L4L and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/01/20 06:34 PM

It's a sunny but 50 mph wind kind of day with windchills in the 20's. Brrrr!
I won the step contest for our town again for the month of October! I broke last months record and walked 729, 107 steps and 331.4 miles! No wonder I sleep good. lol I'll be getting another 50 dollars from them! One more month and I can buy a new pair shoes! yay

soot, sounds like a huge undertaking! My back and shoulder hurt thinking about it! Glad you have some help.

Connie, enjoy your day!

family, hope your team plays well.

Joe, I put a sign out this year for no trick and treaters. I had my favorite little 5 pound boarder here and opening and closing the door wasn't an option.

L4L, I'm glad you got your power on too! 60's sound like a dream!
Posted By: family

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/01/20 11:58 PM

court shows even perry mason monday-friday and chores.
Posted By: connie

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/02/20 12:03 PM

Good morning, Enjoy the new week. Lunch and Netflix with a friend. Meeting and installation of a new member at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. kitty
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/02/20 02:47 PM

Well, we were in the 30's last night and 40's when I got up eek

I'm getting ready to head out. Hubby said there was a wind when he went hours ago, and it's always worse as the day goes on. Will have to take something with me to wrap around my face as cold wind is not a good mix with my asthma. Otherwise, it is a beautiful day!

Ana, that is a lot of steps! You rock!


Wishing you all a fantastic day wavegirl puppy
Posted By: soot

Re: Oct 26th In the Diner - 11/02/20 05:34 PM

Good morning everyone ... Happy Monday to one and all

Connie, I grabbed a Danish to go as went to the office this morning to take care of business

You Go Ana ... winning the step contest woot ... I am thinking it will be some time after your retirement before anyone else claims that award think

Enjoy your shows Family

Going to the park today with Missy Joe ?

I've plenty of work to keep me busy at both job sites ... work and home lol

L4L hearts

Have a gracious Monday Joe Ana Family Connie L4L and anyone else who gets the chance to pops in and say hi

wave2

lab
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