Funny Puns. Aug. 11

"I have a split personality," said Tom, b---- F----.

Clue: I changed the f to F.

being Frank

Thanks Marian.

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a
F---- ---.

Fanta sea - nice ones Curly

Bernie

Thanks Bernie.

A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it's r-------.

Reindeer (rain dear)

Bernie

Good one.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her --- is starting to I------!

her aim is starting to improve

Thanks Cue.

My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is. I told him, “My d--- is a----- ----”.

My door is always open

Merci Joan.

A chicken crossing the road is p------ in m-----.

Poultry in motion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy_ArpznZUs

I always liked that song. Merci Kev.

I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.

P------- are going through the roof.

Prophets Hi Curly

Bernie

Thanks Bernie.