I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
She said, “Somewhere I have never been!”
I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
~Henny Youngman~
`````````````````````````````
Two Dozen Pure Witticisms1 I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.
2 Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.
3 I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
4 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
5 If all is not lost, where is it?
6 It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
7 If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
8 The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
9 I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
10 It was all so different before everything changed.
11 Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.
12 Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
13 A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
14 I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
15 It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
16 Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
17 The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
18 If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
19 Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
20 If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
21 An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
22 It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
23 Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
24 Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.
````
Ricky, Tony, and Leroy were out riding their bikes in downtown Chicago when a fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens.
The three boys spotted an Alsatian dog on the front seat of the fire engine.
Ricky commented, "They use that dog to control sightseers."
"No," said Tony, "he's just for good luck."
But Leroy knew better, "No, that's not it," he said. "The dog is there to point the firemen to the nearest fire hydrant!"
````
Collection of Funny Quips Our friend Eddie has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, Eddie takes something for it.
I stayed up all night playing Texas Hold'em with a deck of tarot cards. I got a royal flush and five people died.
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West
I spilled 'Spot' remover on my dog. Now he's disappeared.
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool .
Don't wish ill for your enemy, plan it.
Syrus, Maxims
````
15 Cerebral Witticisms1 Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
2 Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
3 A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
4 Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
5 Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
6 A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
7 You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
8 Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
9 Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
10 When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
11 What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away.)
12 In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
13 The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
14 A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
15 Acupuncture is a jab well done.
````
Goodmorning everyboomie.
I hope everyone is doing wel land enjoying your weekend.
Not sure if we got out of the 30s today, but Sunday is supposed to be a bit warmer.
Looks like it's going to be a slow weekend all around, cause I've got no plan whatsoever.
Is that one word??
Have a great day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
I may be looking at another resting day tomorrow. I really hope some things clear up before Monday, as I have some more resets coming up. 
always funny, just enjoy the day with Missy 
and take it as it comes.. 
Now that sounds interesting...have a terrific afternoon. 
Hopefully you will get better soon but in the meantime nothing beats fish soup or chicken soup in bed with a romantic love or a funny animal movie. 
Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, and French Toast in the NC. 
