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#1004391 - Today at 02:09 AM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30279
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

Quote: "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two NatGeo enthusiasts, Gary and Robbie, were exploring the jungles, when a big tiger sprang out of the bushes in front of them.

Gary whispered to Robbie, "Stay calm! Don't move."

Robbie asked Gary if he remembered what they had seen about tigers on NatGeo. Gary replied, "Yes, I do. If you stand still and look the tiger in the eye, he will turn around and go away."

Robbie said, "Yes, I have seen it on NatGeo. You have seen it on NatGeo. But has the tiger seen it on NatGeo?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robbie, the truck driver, was cruising along the highway, when he noticed a small brown guy standing in the middle of the road waving his hand. Robbie stopped the truck and asked the small guy what he wanted.

The small guy said, "I am brown. I am from Pluto and I am hungry."

Robbie shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, I can offer you my sandwich, little fella and that's about all I can do."

Robbie gave his sandwich to the little guy and drove off. After a little distance, he noticed a small red guy standing in the middle of the road waving his hand. Robbie stopped the truck and asked the small guy what he wanted.

The small guy said, "I am red. I am from Mars and I am thirsty."

Robbie getting a little impatient, said "All I have is a bottle of beer. You can take it, but that's about all I can do for you."

He handed over the beer to the small guy and drove off. He had covered only a few miles when he saw a small blue man in the middle of the road.

Robbie, a little irritated by then, stopped his truck and said to the guy angrily, "Yes, you idiotic blue joker. Which godforsaken planet are you from, and what do you want?"

The little guy replied, "May I see your Driver's license, sir!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A small airplane encounters engine failure and begins to nose-dive. The pilot manages to land the aircraft safely on the ocean. He announces that it is an emergency and that all passengers should remain seated. He further declares that the airplane was designed to stay afloat for an hour provided that the doors are not opened. This would give rescue teams enough time to reach out to help them.

A soon as the announcement is over, one of the passengers, Mr. Gupta, runs to open the door. While the passengers look in horror, the pilot yells at Mr. Gupta, "Please do not do that! Didn't you hear what I announced? This airplane won't sink for a while if the door remains closed!"

Mr. Gupta answered, "Ya ya. This plane is also designed to fly, and we all saw how good it was!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Thatcher was seated at the park when she noticed a man take the leash off his dog so that the dog could roam around freely in the park. She said to the man, "Do you mind keeping the pet next to you, mister. I can already feel a flea in my sneakers."

The man called out to his pet, "Buzo, please come here. That lady has fleas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians...' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'
~~~~~~~~~~~

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'

'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

David staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, David sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood..

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, David woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

David said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


It is 1:07 here and I am wiped out, barely staying awake, so I will bid you all a very happy day. wave


My brothers are coming today to close on Mom's house. woot Finally!!


joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1004394 - Today at 03:28 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 2046
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Good morning Boom Boom buddies wave

Have a Doctors appt. today
wishing everyone a good day~ Thanks thanks for all your Prayers & support hearts Yankee my niece Rikki is 19 and she usually stays at our house and takes care of all my doggies & kitties she lives right next door to me~ Karen catrub puppy cat kitty
_________________________
"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~

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#1004399 - Today at 04:12 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8445
Loc: Greece
Good morning,have all happy day. wave
Karen flowers
Rainy day here. smile
_________________________
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".


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#1004403 - Today at 05:26 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17964
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Karen and Haroula. Joe good news you will be closing on your Mom's house. Karen sending healing thoughts, hugs and prayers. catrub Haroula raining days are good for gaming! Coffee is ready. Take Care Everyone and enjoy your day. wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#1004409 - Today at 07:06 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8297
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Friday. Danish, Waffles, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. winter
_________________________
Connie

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#1004410 - Today at 07:09 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14841
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning all. I'm off to work. Have a wonderful Friday.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#1004417 - Today at 08:46 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5842
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Congratulations on your brothers closing on your mom's house, Joe! woot Hope you get plenty of sleep.

luck with your doctor's appointment, Karen!! Sending you healing thoughts as well!!

Have a happy day, too, Haroula. Hope it doesn't rain too much, unless of course, you want it to. smile

Have a terrific Friday, Gerry.

Thanks for the delicious breakfast, as always, Connie. grin

Have a wonderful Friday as well, Midge.

I'm off today, and it's a three day weekend. There's still plenty of snow on the ground - it snowed again yesterday - so that means more gaming for me. grin

Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. winter

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#1004422 - Today at 09:57 AM Re: TGIF [Re: venus]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9561
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! A late night for you! Hope your TGIF is terrific!

Karen, big hugs to you! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday! woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#1004428 - Today at 10:34 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 15087
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers puppy

Joe, good luck on the closing.

Karen, hugs. Hope your Doc appointment goes well. hearts

Haroula, happy rainy day!

Midgie, wishing you an easy day at work.

Venus, enjoy your weekend off.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, Danish sounds good this morning.

Darlene, enjoy your day.

Wishing All a wonderful Friday! lab
_________________________
Gail

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#1004430 - Today at 10:39 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 66345
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I had a great evening with daughter and grandson yesterday. He's getting to be quite the little charmer. We stopped by trivia night at the bar to visit my friends and he was just the social butterfly.

Here is a picture of him and I for those not on FaceBook James and I.

Tonight I am meeting a high school friend I haven't seen since graduation. She is meeting me and my other friends for darts and bowling. I will watch the bowling but will play darts afterwards.

Have a happy day! It's Friday! woot
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1004434 - Today at 10:56 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11442
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning to all.

Aw Ana, he is so cute. Love that smile.

I am off in a while to see the audiologist. Hearing test and hearing aid check, maybe a new one. Ouch, there goes my bank account. lol

Brr, woke up to 3 degrees with a high of 17. Wonderful. Forecast for the weekend sounds crappy. We may or may not have a concert on Sunday.

L4L, great series that keeps you reading. Need breaks between though.

Laundry day so must go tend to it.

Behave everyone and have a good day.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#1004435 - Today at 10:59 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42964
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

It's cold but there is blue sky and bright sun happydance It's supposed to get to 50, so the possibility of a walk exists. Will depend on busy-ness and wind.

Bread making and yogurt brewing are on the schedule. Boys will be here later and the word "vacuum" has been floating around in my head. I wonder if it will make it to my fingers?

I spent part of the morning looking up nutrition info on the ingredients that I always toss in our smoothies. Now it's time to feed the monkeys.

So cute, Ana.

I was talking with VA son yesterday when his son woke up from a nap. He woke up very unhappy and wail "Daddy, I don't like you" cos dad was changing his clothes as he had wet himself. Felt so bad for dad. Glad I survived those years.

Back later wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1004448 - Today at 01:40 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7609
Loc: San Diego, CA
Warm healing thoughts to all who are recovering. I'm 'laying low' a bit today since it's like a 'full moon' atmosphere around here. It might be the heavy atmosphere since we are expecting a major winter storm. For us, that means a bit of rain, maybe some wind and everyone going nuts. Inland, Mountains, and Desert areas will get much more weather, but we escape most of it. I really need some good steady rain to sink in to keep my big trees going. They are recovering from the summer drought, but still need some help. Just watering with the hose, isn't enough.

Penelope the Peacock was a BAD GIRL yesterday. She spent most of the day here, then around evening, she jumped up on the trellis and started honking loud and long. It was like she heard the call of the 'spaceship' coming to get her and was signaling. I think maybe she heard something that sounded like another peacock, but I didn't hear anything but dogs barking. After 15 minutes of honking, she started home. Then I saw two people out front walking a dog but not walking if you know what I mean. THEN I saw Penelope approach them on the sidewalk. I went out, realized I knew the people (their parents live around the corner and they walk their dogs). Penelope was very very interested in the dog and I tried to tell the girl that she needed to pick up the dog so I could get Penelope off the sidewalk.

She finally walked back and I got in between the looney bird and them and shooed her off the sidewalk and then Penelope followed me up my long driveway just like an obedient puppy. Funnnny. I fed her more grapes and figured she was done for the night.

THEN I see cars backing up in front of my house and look out and there is Penelope, standing dead center in the traffic lane with about 6 cars stopped. I rushed out in my socks only, just as one car decided to dodge around her. People here have NO patience. I got out in the traffic, got to the road side of Penelope and shooed her to the yard next door where she happily started on her usual home route. Ugh! That little girl is going to get smashed someday. She has NO fear of cars and doesn't realize the road is any different than a lawn. Really stressful stuff with her. I don't think she can be trained. She's pretty wild, and walkers and drivers are all amused and take pictures of her and try to get her to come to them. I try to discourage that since then she just walks out in the street following them. The joys of 'not' owning a peacock. Ha.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#1004459 - Today at 03:03 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Online   content
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2260
Loc: Lexington, Texas
To Princess Penelope: You are a beautiful but kinda spoiled young lady and you should be considerate of your owners/kind people/whatever who care for you. I would love to be able to pet and treat you. Maybe your caretakers would put a postage stamp on you and send you to me. We have cats here to terrorize and oodles of trees and scrub to play with. And even I would buy a boy peacock you could nagnagnag. We have 2 feed stores close by where you could shop and they would make a big fuss over you.

To Sorta: If it ain't the house across the street it's Penelope. Some day you'll laugh your head off over that bird.
I know you love her. And I have possums. Today they got a good ol' fashioned cholesterol breakfast -a bit late in the day, more like an after lunch breakfast.

No walkie today due to errands and groceries. Not very favorable weather for walking with cats anyway. Tomorrow for sure.
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#1004464 - 10 minutes 44 seconds ago Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9909
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Welcome to the weekend Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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