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Blonde Mortician #1005935
03/10/15 01:53 PM
03/10/15 01:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
Barry Offline OP
Addicted Boomer
Barry  Offline OP
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit..

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.

She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake.

To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank cheque.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. .. . .. . . . ...

So I just switched the heads.'



Bet ya didn't see that one coming!!! LOL


I've seen God, and his name is iPad. Let us pray
yes, I do use my Hairbrush as a Microphone and Dance around in my Underwear. Thank you very much.

Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1005944
03/10/15 02:37 PM
03/10/15 02:37 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
haha wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1005949
03/10/15 03:02 PM
03/10/15 03:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
rotfl I did not see that coming. You are right!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1005953
03/10/15 03:19 PM
03/10/15 03:19 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Oh oh oh! Not your usual blonde joke. Egads! Good one Barry.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1005961
03/10/15 03:57 PM
03/10/15 03:57 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,803
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,803
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Ouch! smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1006020
03/11/15 12:01 AM
03/11/15 12:01 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,940
Lincoln, NE
GuybrushThreepwood Offline
Addicted Boomer
GuybrushThreepwood  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,940
Lincoln, NE
No I didn't see that one coming.


Currently Playing:
Adventure Game: Broken Age
Darkside: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1006041
03/11/15 04:56 AM
03/11/15 04:56 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
rotfl

You're right, I did not see that coming! haha


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: BobH] #1006053
03/11/15 07:11 AM
03/11/15 07:11 AM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 34,384
United Kingdom
Mad Offline
Sonic Boomer
Mad  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 34,384
United Kingdom
Hahaha !!!! Good one, Barry laugh


Time : The Most Precious Commodity
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1006121
03/11/15 04:46 PM
03/11/15 04:46 PM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 7,767
Calgary Alberta Canada
Cathy1 Offline
BAAG Specialist
Cathy1  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: May 2003
Posts: 7,767
Calgary Alberta Canada
That was great. Never heard that one before.

Cathy woozy


" If Cornoil Comes From Corn
Where Doe's Babyoil Come From "
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1006143
03/11/15 08:35 PM
03/11/15 08:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,824
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,824
Alabama
rotfl

no I didn't


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Blonde Mortician [Re: Barry] #1006152
03/11/15 10:34 PM
03/11/15 10:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
haha Oh man! haha


Thanks for that one! thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
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