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Tuesday's Joe's #1016998
06/02/15 12:02 AM
06/02/15 12:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
'Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.' Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.
``````````````````````````````````

I January I am starting to draw SS, and go to part time at work.

It seems appropriate to post a few retardment quips.

``````````````````````````````

1) Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Happy retirement.



2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Congratulations.



3) The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.



4) Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.



5) After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger.

All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.



6) Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time?

Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now.



7) Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff.

Congratulations.



8) Thank God retirement is mandatory and not an option.

Otherwise I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you. Happy retirement.



9) Retirement is the beginning of joyous moments in which you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.



10) Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement.

Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.



11) Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to… so in short it is boring. Congratulations.



12) All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.



13) Retirement is just a nice word to say that you are getting too old to work.
Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.



14) For someone as lazy as you, retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing… officially. Congratulations.



15) Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you. Happy retirement.

Humorous retirement wish about turning old and weak

16) Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. Congratulations.



17) Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.



18) No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.



19) Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge. Happy retirement.



20) Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension… but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.



21) Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you. Happy retirement.



22) Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.



23) Doing the things you always wanted to do is not the real challenge of retirement. Remembering them is the real challenge. Good luck at being a forgetful pensioner.



24) Until now, when you slacked at work your boss shouted at you. Now when you slack at household chores, your wife will shout at you.



25) Was working hard all your life worth it? You are about to realize that now.



26) You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work.



27) All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grandkids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same…



28) Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.



29) Consider yourself officially and truly retired on the day you don’t feel like changing your underwear. Happy retirement.



30) Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations, better late than never.

````````````````````````````````````````

Good morning again everyboomie. welcome


If it's Tuesday, it must be grocery shopping day, and house cleanig day, and laundry day, and yard work day. shocked


Why did I ever complain about Mondays??


I really have to blame that on my procrastinating ways. rolleyes


I put off everything until my days off, and when I have two days off the first one is strictly a play day. dance


If I have one day off, the fist one is a play day. lol


Play always comes first. I may not even be around tomorrow. duh


Play first, work later, if I can't put it off till even later. wink


Heck I'd put off typing out 'procrastination' if I could.


For a two-fingered pecker like me that's almost like work. cool


Almost....


Ok, have a bodascious day everyone. thumbsup



joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 06/02/15 12:04 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017011
06/02/15 06:40 AM
06/02/15 06:40 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe and all. wave
Have all a
happy day. happydance spring


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: Haroula] #1017030
06/02/15 09:53 AM
06/02/15 09:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a bodacious day, as well! Happy Tuesday's Joe's!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Quiet morning in the Diner....

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017035
06/02/15 10:06 AM
06/02/15 10:06 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers spring

Joe, enjoy your Tuesday!

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Darlene, enjoy your work today.

Wishing everyone a wonderful, peaceful, happy, day! chocobunny


Gail
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017044
06/02/15 10:38 AM
06/02/15 10:38 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,347
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,347
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, Haroula, Darlene and Gail!

Finally a bright sunny day here. Maybe I get the heat turned off one of these days too!

Have a happy day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017050
06/02/15 11:44 AM
06/02/15 11:44 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I got up early early early to get the monkeys to the park before the heat got here. We had a great walk. I must admit to going back to bed when we got home. I tell myself every day "Just get up and go and you can go back to bed when you get home." Normally, I don't go back, but this morning it was a must.

On the way down the stairs on my second get up, I tripped on a large nylabone that I failed to see....face planted in the hall with my water bottles and tea cups! Nothing broke (bones or glass)...just have some rug burns and soreness. Needless to say, that bone is in the garbage.

DIL's surgery yesterday was a good thing....she is feeling much better today and is supposed to come home this afternoon. They are more than ready to get out of there, though they have said it is a very super nice hospital....even has a harpist!


Joe, you are welcome to come on over to practice that house-cleaning! I like your "play comes first."

Haroula, wave

Darlene, happy skooshing.

Gail, hope you have a wonderful and peaceful day too.

Ana, may the bright bring some warmth soon.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017061
06/02/15 12:54 PM
06/02/15 12:54 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe nice find yesterday! A look at your to do list and now I'm tired. lol Have a lovely day!

Haroula glad you had a nice time except for those pesty mosquitoes. Have a lovely day!

Gail rain and game go together, enjoy! Hope the son shines soon. Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and go smoothly. Have a lovely day!

Ana enjoy the sun and hope it warms the air there. Have a lovely day!

L4l prayers for dil. Is great she can go home today! Hope the little tumble pains go away soonest for you! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017069
06/02/15 02:25 PM
06/02/15 02:25 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Well, vacation's over and back to the olde old. A change does kinda vacuum the mind doesn't it. House sparkels and now on to gaming, I guess. I really need a brand new super shooter. I'm waiting for Dec 31 because that's when the definitive Doom arrives -can't wait!!!

After flood cleanup is going on in Austin and Elgin but Wimberly is still hurting I wish them well. Still 7 unaccounted for there.

Tomato plants look good and a little peanut has sprouted.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1017074
06/02/15 04:15 PM
06/02/15 04:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,803
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,803
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017098
06/02/15 09:02 PM
06/02/15 09:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Argh, Brighthouse has missed not 1, but 2 service appointments today. No calls, no show! hardwall If there were any other cable company that we could get, I would. This is what happens when there is no competition. I'm going to feed the dogs and then drown my aggravation in ice cream. Arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh!!!!! At this point, I don't see a reason to bother scheduling!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1017099
06/02/15 09:03 PM
06/02/15 09:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hello everybody. wave

Ok there were some things on my list that didn't get done today, but all in all I'd have to say it was a lot more than I wanted to do anyway. razz

I bought a new computer today at Walmart, and I'm taking it back tomorrow. rolleyes

I'm kidding. I'm not taking it back until I get one in on order. I just don't like this one. duh

Gotta go do that now. happydance

See yous guys later. yes

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's Joe's [Re: gymcandy1] #1017103
06/02/15 09:36 PM
06/02/15 09:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,803
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,803
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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