-1. I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, you gotta w---.
2.How Long is a Chinese man’s name. No, it a--u-l-y is
-3.I couldn’t believe that the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, all the s---- were there.
-4.My grandfather died peacefully, in his sleep…
…not s-------g like the p--------s in his car.
-5.I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three d--- already.
-6.I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a k---.
-7.A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't s---- anything’'
-8.Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the f--------.
-9.I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to p--- me the s---.
-10.I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at q------ past f---.