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#1140191 - 01/31/18 07:54 PM Happy Thump Day
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32375
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

~Buddha~
````````

After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.”

“What’s your word?” the host 
replied.

“Bored out of my mind,” said the caller.

````````````

Scene: A radio newsroom.

Caller: I just wanted to let you know you’re off the air.

Host: Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it.

Caller: It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that.

```````````

While on patrol, I arrested a burglar who’d injured himself running from a home. He told me he’d broken in and unhooked the phone before searching for valuables. But he’d panicked when he heard a woman’s voice. I entered the house and heard the same voice: “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.”

```````````

My niece was dragged into court by a neighbor who complained about her barking dogs. At one point, the judge asked the neighbor a question. The neighbor didn’t reply. “Sir, are you going to answer me?”

The neighbor leaped to his feet. “Are you talking to me?” he asked. “Sorry; I can’t hear a darn thing.”

The case was dismissed.

````````````

A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:

Customer: Yoooo I ordered a Pizza 
& Came with no Toppings on it or anything, Its Just Bread

Domino’s: We’re sorry to hear about this!

Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/

``````````

Here’s a guide to American 
culture for Russians visiting the U.S., straight from Russian tour books:

“Women play a greater role in business. Often they insist to be treated exactly as an equal and not as a lady.”

“As a rule, the [social] invitation will be only on a weekend, and you don’t have to prepare for something extravagant. Everything is the same as ours, only with far less booze.”

“‘See you later’ should not be taken literally. That is a courtesy, 
and no more.”

```````````

A welsh politician asked the government for information about UFO sightings and if it might fund UFO research. Officials wrote back, “jang vIDa je due luq … ach ghotvam’e’ QI’yaH devolve qaS.” Which means, “The minister will reply in due course. However, this is a non-devolved 
matter,” in Klingon.

`````````

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. 
He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, “I have a new obstetrician.”

```````````

A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was 
expecting an ocean-view hotel 
room. I explained that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of 
the state. “Don’t lie to me,” he said. 
“I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state.”

````````````

The James Bond film Spectre opens in November. Writer Peter 
Anspach explains how he’d improve his odds if he were a film villain.

• I will not fly into a rage and 
kill a messenger who brings me 
bad news just to illustrate how evil 
I am. Good messengers are hard 
to come by.

• My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

• If I’m eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have 
to leave the table for any reason, 
I will order new drinks for both 
of us instead of trying to decide whether to switch with him.

• My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

• When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say no and finish him off.

```````````

Scene: Horseback-riding stable.

Mom: Those horses are awfully big for my daughter.

Me: Our horses are very sweet ...

Mom: Don’t you have something smaller? What about that one over there? It’s the perfect size for her!

Me: Um … that’s a goat.

From notalwaysright.com

`````````````

Gauging from these exam 
excerpts, my college dance students had better stick with pliés.

“The costumes were vindictive 
of the style of dance.”

“I commend Bill T. Jones for 
his acts of true kindness and 
selfishness.”

“Dancers must have long limps.”

“At first, I had a hard time 
understanding and interrupting 
his movement.”

“Savion Glover’s purpose is to cross all racial and ethical barriers with his dance.”

```````````

Gd mrning everybmie. wave2


I see I'm missing sme letters again. taz


Sme times I get tired f having t g back and insert the missing letters when the key starts t wrk again. rolleyes


I knw yu guys are smart enugh t figure ut what I'm meaning t say anyway. sherlock


We had a very nice 70 degree day here. It was nice and windy too. yes


No matter. I keep my hair way too short for the wind to mess it up anyway. woot


Wishing yu all a super Thursday. thumbsup


joe
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1140203 - 01/31/18 08:37 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 28522
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
I cm stll red it Joe smile

Joe and Connie, you should try Pandora. You can create separate radio stations based on music groups or songs that you like. I listen to Pandora every day when I can stream... otherwise I just get out muy ipod and listen to my tunes

Occasional light days are a must Ana, they provide order to life

Venus, I hope the heavy day went fast for you, but not too fast as to rush you

I was still sleeping Gerry, so I missed out. Last night was rough for me so took the opportunity to sleep later than normal

Hanging around at home is total goodness in my book Gail, I hope you enjoyed it.

I'll have a Danish and coffee to go as I have a flight to catch

I love the super moons too Sorta... Have a great day.

Have a great day every one!

wave2
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

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#1140215 - 01/31/18 10:03 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76216
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I can understand you perfectly too! No worries even if you lose another letter. lol

soot, safe travels to you!

Back to busy schedule today!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1140227 - 01/31/18 11:36 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8121
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Enjoy the nice weather, Joe.

Thanks, soot. The work day was too long, and I had a headache at the end, but at least it's over now. smile Hope you have a better day/night than last night!

Hope your busy day is not too tiring, Ana.

Wednesday night here. Tomorrow should be another long day, but hopefully not as long as today. yes At least I'm getting good hours to make up for some shorter weeks during the holidays.

Have a terrific Thursday, everyone. winter
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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#1140233 - 02/01/18 04:09 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23194
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe I see what you say and know what you mean! grin Soot safe travel!! Hope you sleep better too. Ana enjoy your day. Venus have a stress free day! Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
Wishing you all a super Thursday! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#1140236 - 02/01/18 06:52 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10487
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Thump Day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. winter
_________________________
Connie

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#1140240 - 02/01/18 07:32 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers wavegirl

Joe, Ana, Gerry, Soot, Venus, Connie and anyone else traveling through I'm wishing a great day. Running late this morning. lab
_________________________
Gail

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#1140264 - 02/01/18 10:47 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47762
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Waiting on hubby to make it back from CO. He had good, if quick, visit with daughter. He'll be back tonight happydance

It's gray but nice out there. Keoki likes to wander around the front yard. I grabbed my heavy jacket but didn't need it at all wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1140319 - 02/01/18 10:48 PM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76216
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

Top
#1140320 - 02/02/18 01:05 AM Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8121
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top

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