You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
```````````
She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. One day she said, "You know what kills me ... ?"
Smiling, Mark teased, "Apparently nothing."
``````````
While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded, "Take your pick."
````````````
Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered by Medicare
FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
`````````
Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age.
"You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," the clerk said.
"But I filled them out last year," she replied.
"You have to fill them out every year."
"Why? Do you think I'm getting younger?"
````````
We'd finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said.
My middle-aged wife put him at ease. "Don't worry," she said. "They'll only look once."
```````````
The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony. "You know you’re past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the massage chair."
````````````
Retirement is the best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law.
"I never know what day of the week it is," he gloated. "All I know is, the day the big paper comes, I have to dress up and go to church."
```````````
When I was in high school, I wore Birkenstocks. Or as I call them now, the '90s version of a purity ring.
``````````
At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower.
"This thing is great," he bragged to my brother. "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!"
````````
"Everything's starting to click for me!" said my father-in-law at dinner. "My knees, my elbows, my neck … "
```````````
The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. "Cool, Grandma!" he said. "Now take off your arm."
``````````
At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!" Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that?"
```````
I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friend—new to the city— asked where he could meet some singles. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries."
"Dear," I intervened. "Singles, not seagulls."
`````````````
An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs."
````````````
I've always been a disappointment. When I was five, I looked down at the crayons I was coloring with and sighed—when I was two, this is not what I saw myself doing at five.
```````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
It appears that our weekend will be on the wet side.
Actually our next two weeks will be on the wet side, with rain forecast every single day........and the whole two weeks together.
Most of the days will be in the 60s though, so it's all a-ok.
I hope your weekend is all you want it to be.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good morning Joe Ana Gerry and Connie
Oh, well, I have a free day then. 
Time for some games and practicing on my own. 