To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.

~Confucius~
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Funny Quips


Top 10 funny messages for an answering machine message

1. Hello, this is Frank's fridge. If you leave a message, I will attach it on my door with a magnet.

2. Hello, I am David's answering machine. And who are you?

3. Hello, this is Death speaking. If you leave your name and telephone number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

4. Hi, I'm at home but unfortunately too drunk to find the telephone. Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I'm capable of it.

5. Hello, this is Daniel's answering machine. Please leave a message between the beeps: Beep-beep. Nothing? OK, good bye.

6. Hello, this is Anna's answering machine. I'm always here for you and I love listening to you. Please leave a message after the beep.

7. No, please not the beep. Please, noooo.... Beep

8. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you. Please speak after the beep.

9. Hello, you are connected to the Vatican. All the confessionals are currently busy. Please explain your sins in full detail after the angel chorus. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

10. Hello? Hello? Yes, Aha... Well this is Tony's answering machine. Sorry he's not here. But you can leave him a message after the tone.

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After millions of years of evolution, you’re kind of a disappointment.

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I’m breathing. That’s about it for today’s productivity.

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A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.

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I am an example to others. A bad example.

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Rule No. 1: Women are always right.

Rule No. 2: If a woman is not right, Rule No.1 applies.

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Men with piercings are ideal marriage material. They are not new to pain and they have experience with buying jewelry.

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Girls want a lot from one guy. On the other hand, a guy only wants one thing from a lot of girls.

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Panic, Chaos, Pandemonium – my work here is finished.

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Whoever said "nothing is impossible" clearly never tried slamming a revolving door.

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May I be excused? My brain is quite full.

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The perfect man doesn’t swear, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t drink. He also doesn’t exist.

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Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out alone.

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The human body was clearly designed by a civil engineer.
Who else would put a waste disposal pipeline running through a recreational area?

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Just you keep on talking, for sure someday you’ll say something intelligent.

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Every rule has an exception. This rule is no exception. When the weekend is over:

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There are days one should really just sleep through. Like Monday through Friday.

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Promises are like babies… They’re fun to make but hard to deliver.

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Good morning everyboomie.


I am so ready for another day.............to be over.


We had a very nice day here. I'm just ready for a really long nap.


Sunday is supposed to be much cooler. Bummer. I guess 59 is not bad, but it's still 68 right now.


Be sure to spring ahead tonight everybody.


Spring is here.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

It's 29 degrees here. I'd love 59!! I wish I could sleep in, I wake up same time regardless of what time I go to bed.

Had a great night out with friends, dinner and darts. Now it'a back home to my puppies.

Ana

Good Morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Joe love the "answering machine messages"! Ana I'm up sooo early every morning I wish I could sleep in too. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
Wishing you all a Happy Day!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Sunday. Breakfast out and some shopping today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Ham, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and French Toast in the NC.

Hey good morning everyone...finally decided I'd better get up and face the day

It's raining here and the dogs are telling me that's OK...let's go walk...so, I'll take an umbrella and do it!

Joe, I hope Sunday it's too cool and you get to enjoy it!

Ana, glad you had a good night! And, you can keep the cold

I wake early Gerry, but not as early as you ladies

Wishing you a Super Sunday too Connie!

I'll have coffee, eggs sunny-side up, grits, hash browns, bacon and sausage please.

See you all later

Super Sunday ya'll

We had a whopper of a storm move through at 2 a.m. For the first time, I saw squirrels out eating on the table and in the window while it was raining. Usually, I don't see them at all during rain.

Today is more cleaning. That will last til the back says "enough"...not sure how long that will be.

I'm just the opposite of you early risers. I tend not to fall asleep til the wee hours (no matter when I turn out the light and roll over), so early morning is Not on my clock.

Have a great one!

Hope it feels warmer than 59 for you, Joe!

Glad you had a great night, Ana.

Gerry, I wish I could get to sleep earlier sometimes, especially when the clocks have to be turned forward. Natural morning people definitely have the advantage in that situation.

Have fun at breakfast and shopping later, Connie.

Soot, sounds like the dogs are in charge, which is as it should be.

L4L, I know what you mean! I'm a natural night person also and can't seem to get to sleep early, or at least only on very rare occasions, and then I always revert back to my "normal" hours, anyway. Hope the cleaning goes well, and that your back doesn't complain too much!

It's going to take me a few days to recover from the time change. I think I'll use the opportunity today to take it easy and game. Okay, okay, I'll get in some practice as well.

Have a terrific Sunday, everyone.

Venus, takes me a while to adjust to the time change too.

We've been cleaning along...time to take a break.

The problem with cleaning is when you clean something, you see something next to it that needs cleaning Also, the "clean" is so fleeting...at least in this house.

Cullen has been my legs today...running up and down the stairs!

L4L, I'm still running an hour behind, and I didn't have to do much of anything today. I know what you mean about cleaning. Everything gets dirty here also, even after it's just been cleaned, especially in Jupiter's area. I have no idea how such a tiny cat can create such a huge mess. Saga's bigger, yet somehow she's not nearly as messy.

Off to bed I go. Sweet dreams all

Nighty night all...

Good night, everyone.