Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.
~Stephen Hawking~
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Funny Redneck Jokes | Part 2/3 *When you say “Look, a dead bird” to a redneck, chances are he will look up.
Q: How to tell you’re at a redneck wedding?
A: Nobody knows which side of the church they should sit in.
How can you tell that a fax was sent by a hick?
The stamp gives it away.
How can you break a redneck’s nose without getting into a fight?
Put a 50 dollar bill under a glass table.
Q: How can you be sure a toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
A: Anyone else would have named it a teethbrush.
Why is it ok to post redneck jokes?
Because they can’t read them, anyway.
What do rednecks like to do in their free time?
Pulling ‘yo mama’ jokes on their own brothers and sisters.
Rednecks are so poor that if you visit them in the winter and f*art secretly at their place, they will ask if someone turned on the heating.
How to keep a redneck entertained?
Give him a piece of paper and write on both sides: “Please turn over.”
Why don’t rednecks get a coffee break at work?
Because the retraining when they come back would take too long.
How to keep a redneck busy (please see below)
How to keep a redneck busy (please see above)
Redneck pick up lines:1. Hey, you wanna come to me? The bed is still warm from mah brother.
2. Did you f*art? ‘Cause you just blew me away.
3. Did you just touch my butt? Nah? Pity!
4. Oh baby, you are cooler than a set of snow chains.
5. Girl, I want you more than a new set of monster truck wheels.
6. Maybe you ain’t the most beautiful girl around but hey, true love’s just a light switch away.
7. Are you fertile?
8. You are so beautiful – you would fit perfectly in my trailer.
9. Shame I’ve got diabetes. You’re so sweet I would eat you right away.
10. Say, does this smell like chloroform to ya?
11. You owe me a beer. I dropped mine when I saw you.
12. You look so familiar... are we related?
13. Hey wow! Are those real?
14. Would you like to increase my family’s genepool?
15. Between 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
17. Can I show you my collection of monster truck wheels?
18. So, you say you can lift a pig under each arm, gal?
What is long and hard for a redneck? The fourth grade!
Rednecks never brush their teeth. They brush their tooth.
What is a redneck dressed really smart? Artificial intelligence.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Let's see now. It's a week before next Tuesday. That makes this uhmmmmm.....Tuesday!
Monday was cloudy, cool, and messy all day here, but never fear because Tuesday is going to be thunderstorms in the AM and 21mph wind.
Couldn't be better.
I love Spring.
That's the weather in my neck of the woods.....and the chest and arms too.
I hope your day is super.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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witter
Hope it warms up soon.
Hope you have a great Tuesday as well.
Today was way too long, and tomorrow's not looking much better. Here's hoping things go more smoothly than they did today. 
