“I’m always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park.”

~Gary Delaney~
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They say good, honest work never did anybody any harm, but why risk it?

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Experts say you shouldn’t eat at night. So who put the light bulb in the refrigerator?

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Funny bumper stickers:

Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
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Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
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Braking is for suckers.
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Am I driving too close in front of you?
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Escape vehicle. Please do not block.
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There's no need to follow me. I'm lost too.

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When somebody is totally angry, why not say:

"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."

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Never drive faster than a guardian angel can fly.

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What – me?! A stalker?! Never! I just like to be well informed, that’s all.

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There are days when you just want to envelope everybody with light and warmth… that's why I bought a flamethrower.

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My boyfriend is so ugly, I sometimes have to put roofies in my own drink.

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When you don't know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:

I will now answer you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".

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WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering when you are most definitely not.

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I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately, my phone had a little too much to drink.

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When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds with you?

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It's funny how many people get mad when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.

I'm sorry, that's not what I meant to gargle with........DANG!!

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Interesting status update:

9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. The tenth is humming.

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When you're late:

I'm never late. Everyone else is simply too early!

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Good morning everyboomie.


Another day, another..... .....Who's got a calculator?


Anyway that and a $2 bill will buy you a cup of coffee.


Staying away from the coffee or even the thought of it. I've lost sleep for the last 4 nights.


I spent the whole day looking for it, but no luck yet.


I'm just having trouble falling asleep for some reason. I'll get over it soon I'm sure.


Beau is here tonight, and I have to say having two hot little bodies next to me does not help me fall asleep. They really crowd me.


I hope you all have a perfectly happy day.


joe

Joe, I hope you can sleep better tonight. I hate having trouble sleeping. I missed sleeping with Otto last night.

So much rain here. My washer drain backed up again just now. I have a feeling it'll be awhile before the water level goes down again. It's storming out now again.

Have a happy day all!

Hope you are able to sleep better tonight, Joe.

Ana, it's raining a lot here now as well. Hope it stops for you soon.

It's Monday night here, and I'm off to sleep. It's back to work for me in the morning.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and all. Joe it must be something in the air because I'm having trouble sleeping too! Got up at 3:30AM this morning. Ana I hope your water level drops! There is nothing worse then a drain that doesn't work! Venus hope your work day is stress free. Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing a Happy Day for everyone!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Tuesday. Rain here all week. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke, at 8-8 Panda tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC.

Joe...my thoughts will be with you and Gerry for a good night's sleep; have fun with Beau's visit

We have rain in our future Ana; hope the drain quits be pesky...that's 'never' fun

Have a good day at work Venus

I'll have a cup of strong coffee and a Danish bacon sandwich to go please Gerry and Connie

L4L

I'm off to work; yesterday went by so fast at work...whew it was done before I knew it

Have a great day everyone

Terrific Tuesday ya'll

I am back from my walk. Hubby walked the dogs before sun up...otherwise it's much too hot. We have rain in the forecast for the week, but I don't know that it will find us today.

I think there is book cooking in my future.

Have a great day all

Walked down my block following a guy who is parking a huge 'tree trimming' truck on the street. He also has added 2 others in the past week and they are taking up half a block. Decided to see where this tree trimming company lives. Found him going into some apartments about 1/2 block away. Only one truck today, the other 2 must be out working. City rules no commercial vehicles parked on street but they seem to have found a way around it. Guessing that everyone thinks they are just working in this block so nobody is complaining. I'll monitor for now and if they start parking in front of my house again, I will advise traffic guys about the business and where to find the 'owner'.

AND the fun part about the one block walk, was that a CROW from my yard followed me all the way, screaming at me and diving when it could. He/she has a nest nearby and was gathering branches for it a few weeks ago. Maybe there is a baby nearby that I didn't see and the crow thinks I'm a danger. They usually don't chase humans, but crows are smart and saw me with at least 3 of the feral cats this morning. It followed me almost all the way back (stopped next door on the phone pole) and is all quiet now. I think the baby must be in the hedge between my house and my neighbor's. Hummmm.

A few years back, saved a baby that couldn't fly by putting it high up in a bush. Found it floundering in the road so I had to get involved. Even though the babies look huge (as big as the parents) they are still babies. That mom or dad crowed at me for months when I was outside. Could be the same crow????

Sorta, that is funny about the crow!

with the tree trimming truck

Nighty night....

Good night, everyone.