You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
~Yogi Berra~
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While I was working security at a football game, a fan spilled beer on a cheerleader's pop-poms. As a favor, I rinsed them off in the men's room. As I shook off the water, someone came out of a stall. Stunned, he announced, "That's the first time anyone's cheered me on while going to the bathroom."
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I'm not good at sports, but I like parallel parking. Unlike sports, the worse you are at parallel parking, the more people you have rooting for you.
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One of the players on our junior high football team never saw action in a game. But my brother, the assistant coach, liked the kid and always gave him pep talks.
"Remember, Ben," he told him, "everyone on this team has an important role. There is no I in team."
"True," said the boy. "But there is a Ben in bench.
``````
I was sprawled on the living-room couch watching my favorite show on the Food Network when my husband walked in.
"Why do you watch those food shows?" he asked. "You don't even cook."
Glaring back at him, I asked, "Then why do you watch football?"
``````
Fred comes home from his usual Saturday golf game. "What a terrible day," he tells his wife. "Harry dropped dead on the tenth tee."
"Oh, that's awful!" she says.
"You're not kidding," says Fred. "For the whole back nine, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry …"
`````
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken.
"No," he replies. "I used to take my wife to all the games, but ever since she passed away, I’ve gone alone."
"Why don’t you invite a friend?"
"I can’t. They’re all at the funeral."
``````
And now for the weather....my favorite toothpick....I mean topic. 
Q: How does a hurricane see?
A: With its eye.
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Q: Can Bees fly in the rain?
A: Not without their yellow jackets.
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Q: What is a Queens favorite kind of precipitation?
A: Reign!
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Q: What is the Mexican weather report?
A: Chili today and hot tamale.
`````
Q: What do you call a wet bear?
A: A drizzly bear
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Q: What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?
A: A weekend.
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Good Monday morning everyboomie.
I hope you all start your day off with a smile, and wear that sucker all day long.
Have a happy day everyone.
rah rah
joe
acebook
witter
loved the funeral one lol and the wife commenting on why her hubby is watching the football hehehe 
so funny.. take care have a wonderful day. 
Starcom how was your weekend? Tainted enjoy your day. What's your weather like today? Venus hope your work week is less hectic then the last. Ana sending positive vibs to help you thru the week ahead. Coffee and tea are ready.
, Ana 
& Kaki's Sister 
- Good morning to you all and too all Boomers:)
, Venus you have a good nights sleep.. 
& Kaki's sister I hope you have a wonderful day 
