Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
~Calvin Coolidge~
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What did the dog breeder get when she crossed an Irish Setter with a Pointer at Christmastime?
A "pointsetter"!
What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?
Merry Christmas to ewe!
What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
Season's Bleatings!
How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!
How do Chihuahua's say Merry Christmas?
Fleas Navidog!
What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
Your teeth!
Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?
So you can say "Merry Crispness"!
Q. What's St. Nicholas's favorite measurement in the metric system?
A. The Santameter!
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A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."
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It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened."
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As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
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Christmas Pick Up Lines Are you Christmas, because I want to Merry you.
Let's both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.
Is your name Jingle Bells, cause you look like you go all the way.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas.
Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?
If i was the Grinch, I wouldn't steal Christmas. I'd steal you.
You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults.
How about I slip down your chimney, at half past midnight?
Wanna meet Santa's little helper?
What do you say we make this a Not-so-Silent Night?
Girl if you come to my house on Black Friday, all clothes will be 100 percent off.
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On Christmas Eve, a long time ago, Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual journey. But this year there were many problems.
Four of the elder elves became ill and the younger more in-experienced elves did not produce the toys as quickly, so Santa started to worry that he would not be ready in time.
Then Mrs. Claus tells him that her mother is visiting. This makes Santa Claus stressed even more so.
When he begins to gather the reindeer for his sleigh, he discovers that three of them are ready to give birth and two have jumped over the fence.
The elves begin loading the sleigh and one of the boards of the sled breaks off and the bag of toys falls to the ground dispersing the toys all around.
It goes without saying that Santa was not exactly in his best state of mind and slightly triggered. Then the doorbell rings and Santa goes to the door and expects another problem.
He opens the door and there is a little angel with a big Christmas tree brought to cheer up Santa. The angel says in a loving tone: "Merry Christmas Santa, is it not a beautiful day today?
I have a big beautiful tree for you, is it not a beautiful tree, where do you want me to put it?" And so began the tradition of the angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Why did the eggnog go to school? To get "egg-u-cated"!
Who tells the best eggnog jokes? Comedi-hens!
What do you call good eggnog? Eggcellent.
What happens when you drink too much eggnog? You start singing kari-yolkie.
Why did the actors drink eggnog? Because the scene required an egg-stra.
What happens when you bring the refreshments to a Christmas party? Everyone gets egg-cited.
If I'm full of the holiday spirit, it's because I spiked my eggnog with rum.
If I share my eggnog that means you're "Egg-stra special" to me.
Keep Calm and Drink Eggnog.
Eggnog, when getting fat from eating food just isn't enough.
I don't celebrate Christmas but I am a devout eggnogstic.
Will Jog for Eggnog.
Don't Hog the Nog.
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Good morning everyboomie.
We have two days left to get ready.
I'm as ready as I'm gonna get.
Jason's plane has landed, and he's on his way.
In the mean time I'm watching some football.
I hope you all have a terrific Sunday.
joe
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It was so late when I went to sleep last night, I forgot all about it. I haven't really been able to game at all this week, except for about a half an hour of Silent Night the day the maintenance people showed up. So hopefully, I'll be able to get some gaming in tomorrow, while Jupiter sits on my lap. 
L4L, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. Chilly here this morning with some frost. 
Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and French Toast in the NC. 
for the laughs Joe. 
