On New Years ResolutionsI have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
~Charles M. Schulz~`````
Two accountants go to their credit union on their lunch break, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."
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The accountant reads the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she speaks up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." The Doctor replied "Have you tried counting sheep?" The accountant stated "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
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An accountant and his neighbor went to the Natural History museum one day. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old". "Where did you get this exact information?" "I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."
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A sickly patient went her doctor's office where she underwent a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live." The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?" The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant." "Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient. "No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."
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You might be an accountant if...you refer to your child as Deduction 214.
you deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".
you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.
while watching the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.
your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline "======".
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One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news." God said. Adam looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you.
One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with Eve.
The other organ is called a [blip]. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
God then looked upon Adam, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."
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Why did the martian throw beef on the asteroid? He wanted it a little meaty-or.
How do martians eat their ice creams in space? In floats!
What is a martians favorite chocolate bar? A Mars bar!
What is an aliens favorite place on a computer? The space bar.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien? A Mars-upial.
What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter.
Where would an alien park his space ship? A parking meteor!
What did the alien get the baby to go to sleep? He rocked-it (rocket).
What do farmers need to create crop circles? A Pro-tractor.
What kind of currency do aliens use? Starbucks
What do you get when you cross a weeping willow and an UFO? A crying saucer.
What do you call an alien spaceship that goes from planet to planet to planet? A UF-hoe.
What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician? A flying sorcerer.
Have you heard the one about the flying spaceship? Never mind its over your head.
What did the alien say to the gas pump? Take your finger out of your nose while I speak to you.
What kind of music do planets sing? Neptunes.
What do aliens like to read? Comet books!
What do you call a martian that can sing? Bruno Mars.
What is an aliens favorite Disney movie? Snow White and the Red Dwarfs.
What do you call a wizard who flies around in a UFO? A flying sorcerer.
What do aliens serve their food on? FLYING SAUCERS
How do you throw a party for an alien? You have to plan-et.
How do you organize a space party? Give up? You planet!
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder!
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Good morning everyboomie.
Only 364 shopping days until Christmas....
I'm saving my pennies now.
Maybe by next Christmas, I'll have this Christmas paid off.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas, and got everything you wished for.
I didn't, but then I really didn't expect Kate Beckinsale to just give up her career and move in with me.
Maybe if I double the number of letters I send her each week she'll reconsider.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Hope you are enjoying your company! 
Hope you have a great trip! 
In a way, at least it's "better" than it was with kitty version Venus, as I've had more time to say goodbye to him. It's definitely not any easier, though. 
L4L and Soot, have safe travels. I will be dog sitting two Pomeranian pups for an ex DIL. 
Christmas with family and friends was Wonderful. 
