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#845498 - 10/28/12 06:59 PM Monday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29992
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Japanese Proverb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following Alzheimers test was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a single mistake. The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!


1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is vart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat.

12. This is seconds cat.


Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.

------------------------------------


Things To Ponder


1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Is there another word for synonym?

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ugly bank machines?

23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

29. The older you get, the better you realize you were.

30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

32. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

45. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
------------------------------------------

Good morning everyboomie.

IT'S MUNDAY!!!! devilchili rah….rah….rah

You thought I'd forgotten whut day it wuz didn’t you? wink

How could I be so happy about the M word?

I'm not. snicker

I‘m a good actor though. thumbsup

I’m practicing for Homeo and Joeliet.

After many laborious hours Joeliet lamented “Homeo Homeo where for art though?”

Have a happy day all.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (10/28/12 07:00 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#845527 - 10/28/12 09:43 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
MaG Offline
Administrator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 12/28/99
Posts: 65806
Thanks, Joe!

Glad you dance because it's Moonday - not!

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#845528 - 10/28/12 09:44 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11383
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
We just got home from my sister-in-law's place this afternoon. Got a call Thursday that our brother-in-law had died. Susie and Vince took Cory for us and we made a trip out to Cabool, MO. Really unexpected. A stressful 4 days.

I'm tired so will close off for the evening and check in tomorrow sometime.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#845545 - 10/28/12 11:14 PM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64737
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Bets, big hugs. I am so sorry to hear that. hearts

MaG kissy

Joe, your feet must feel better if you are dancing. Come dancing with me tonight at my Salsa Funk class.

It's another corner day....I need a break.

Have a happy day everyone. Stay safe in the storms!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#845566 - 10/29/12 03:37 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7617
Loc: Greece
Bets,I am so sorry for your loss. flowers
Have all a nice day wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#845567 - 10/29/12 03:42 AM Re: Monday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1761
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner


Morning Boom Boom Buddies


Thanks for the funnies Joe Joe :snicker



Good Day to you Haroula wave


OOHHH Bets I am sooo sorry to hear your sad news
sending up Prayers for you & your family God Bless hearts


Hi ya Ana hope you have a nice day in your corner
are fibroids serious? puppy


saying LOTS of Prayers for Boomers who are in line to
get hit bye sandy~
may God keep you safe and warm angel hearts catrub
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#845568 - 10/29/12 03:53 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
aserID Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 09/20/12
Posts: 144
Loc: United States

To all of you who are in
Sandy's path--
hang in there, gang,
we'll get through this.
Many thoughts and prayers
are coming your way. angel

Love you,

Aser

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#845569 - 10/29/12 04:07 AM Re: Monday's [Re: aserID]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6032
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning all waveBets sorry for your loss heartsIt sure is Windy out there should be hitting us this afternoon eekWe're in a state of Emergency,Gerry thinking of you,Midge,Gail and anyone else in Sandys way hearts I'll keep the coffee hot as lond as I have power!! Enjoy the day puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#845574 - 10/29/12 05:02 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5363
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Bets, so sorry for your loss. sad

Well, have to whoosh to work once more. So far, we're just getting a lot of rain and nothing more. I assume the worst of the storm is going to hit us tomorrow. Which means that work still awaits me this morning. lol

Have to run so I'm not late. Have a great day, everyone. cat

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#845577 - 10/29/12 06:42 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17030
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, MaG, Bets, Ana, Haroula, Karen, Aser, Cailyn and venus. Funny Joe! lol Hi MaG! smile So sorry for your loss Bets. Ana have fun at your dance class. happydance Haroula, Karen, and Aser enjoy your day. wave Cailyn stay safe! angel Hope it's a short work day venus. Safe Day wished for all! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#845579 - 10/29/12 06:49 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14607
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Thanks Joe for making me laugh this morning. Bets I am so sorry for your loss my friend. Sending thoughts and prayers to your family. Lots of hugs. Morning MaG kissy, Bets, Haroula, Karen, Aser...welcome to Game Boomers, Sue, venus, and all of you.

I have to go to work for 5:00 this afternoon. It'll be sary. My clients live right on the shore (across the street). I told Mike I hope I don't have to row my boat to his house.Kidding. I need to shower before I lose my power this morning. Stay safe.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#845582 - 10/29/12 07:30 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8031
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Bets, Prayers and Hugs on the way. angel To all in Sandy's path Prayers that you will be safe. angel To all here and all who follow, may your day be a good one. It's 52 this morning, the next two mornings it will be in the mid 40's. shiver Danish, Waffles. French Toast, and Oatmeal with fruit in the NC. penguin
_________________________
Connie

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#845583 - 10/29/12 07:33 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14340
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Bets, so sorry for your loss. It's hard enough but even harder when it's unexpected. Hugs and prayers out to you. hearts

Ana, you've been pretty busy in the corner lately. Enjoy a good dance later. rah
MaG, good morning!

Haroula, happy day to you!

Karen, I'll talk to you later if we don't loose power.

aser, good morning. Stay safe!

Cailyn, I think we'll be needing quite a lot of coffee to get through this. Stay safe.

Venus, be careful driving later. It's only going to get worse.

Gerry, hang in there. Stay safe.

Midgie, my friend, I'm worried about you, you're in the worst place. Please be careful!

Connie, good morning. Wow, that's pretty chilly weather for you. The weather has been so crazy everywhere lately.

Storm hasn't hit yet. Winds are just starting to pick up. No school all over the state. So we are all home to sit out the storm. eek





Edited by GBC (10/29/12 07:35 AM)
_________________________
Gail

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#845587 - 10/29/12 08:55 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21203
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Wow, can you believe it's Monday already shocked

Where did the weekend go? Our modem died yesterday and we felt like lost souls on a rubber raft in the Pacific Ocean ... but got back on late yesterday afternoon

C'est la vie ... And it's time to get back to work ... at work that is lol

I see the Sandy is still a menace but hope it'll bluster more than damage ... buckle down the hatches

Wishing everyone a good week!

Brought some buttered biscuits for the NC

Hello Aser .. I missed you earlier on your arrival as was on an extended walk-about .. welcome!

Whoosh...

wave

hearts L4L
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#845601 - 10/29/12 10:36 AM Re: Monday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13595
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Busy morning but wanted to wish everybody a Happy Monday!!

Prayers for all of you on the east coast that Sandy will fizzle out soonest and that you all are safe!!! May your power stay on too.

Aw Bets....HUGS!! So sorry for your loss!

wave
Nan

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