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#851269 - 11/22/12 06:43 PM Black Friday Diner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
Orson Welles
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A man told his wife he was not going to church this morning for 3 reasons. (1) The congregation is cold (2) The people don't like me and (3) I just don't want to. His wife said "Ok, but here are my 3 reasons why I want you to go" #1 The congregation is not cold #2 Some people there do like you and #3 You're the preacher, so get dressed you're going!

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After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth. The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds. "Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!" The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"

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There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

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A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."


There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"

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A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?" "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?" "Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." "What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?" "Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

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Good morning everyboomie. wave

I don’t understand why spell check doesn’t like that word.

It’s a black day……………………..black Friday.

Black coffee is free in the diner today. wink

It know it'll be black when I get up at 4:00am. tired

Ok it’s 5:30 in the afternoon as I type.

Since the company is buying us breakfast, I’ve made the momentous decision to get up at 4:00am instead of 3:30am. razz

Since I’m getting up at 4:00am, I plan on getting to bed by 7:30pm. cool

Since I’m going to bed at 7:30pm, I’m typing this diner at 5:30 in the afternoon.

Get the picture? (CHEESE) grin

I hope so, it’s pretty dark. (black)

My mood will also probably be pretty dark until I get off at 2:00pm, at which time all will be hunky dory with the world.

Ok it’s half time in the game. Time for me to get a shower and put my night gown on.

Have a happy Black Friday everybody. penguin

Don't shop too hard. taz

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (11/23/12 04:47 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#851276 - 11/22/12 07:35 PM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65236
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I hope the people are friendly, the work day goes fast and above all, you are appreciated for being you. hearts

My youngest starts work at midnight and works till 8am. He works at the theatre in the mall which is closed but they are open to sell coffee to the shoppers. rolleyes

I'll be in the corner all day...

Have a happy day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#851277 - 11/22/12 07:37 PM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5515
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific Friday Joe and all who come in after me. wave

Hope everyone had a thanksgiving.

Fiance and I didn't go to dinner, as he has to be at work at 10 pm tonight. As for myself, I have to be there at 4 am. Fun times. crazy Oh, well, at least since I arrive early, I'll get off early.

I'm going to try to head to sleep now, as I have to be up at 2:30. So, good night, everyone. sleep

Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. turkey eatfish

EDIT: Have a great day, Ana. Ha, sounds like your son will be having just as much fun as fiance and I. Sorry he has to work those hours. Hope the rest of his day is better. And hope your project goes well. smile


Edited by venus (11/22/12 07:39 PM)
Edit Reason: Ana snuck in :)

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#851301 - 11/22/12 11:07 PM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65236
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Venus, retail is great isn't it? I hope your workday goes by quickly.
My project is moving along so far.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#851307 - 11/22/12 11:27 PM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13696
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Happy Black Friday All!! If you are heading out for all those deals......be safe and have fun. Hope you are able to get the things you are looking for.

I am heading out early to feed the vampire and then a doc appointment.

Ana hope the project keeps moving right along for ya!!

venus happy working!!!

Joe happy working to you too!! Thanks for the chuckles.

It is still snowing out but the flake size is smaller now.

Have a wonderful day all!

wave
Nan

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#851313 - 11/23/12 12:36 AM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65236
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nan, you are blowing your cold air and snowflakes this way! Stop it! lol It's been a lovely week and it's coming to an abrupt halt with a drastic turn in the weather.
Hope the doctor appt goes well. hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#851322 - 11/23/12 02:23 AM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7817
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,Venus,Nan and all who come
in later wave
Ihope you had a great thanksgiving day.
Enjoy the black Friday,by the way why black?
Have all a happy day fall
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#851331 - 11/23/12 03:04 AM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5515
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Thanks, Ana. Glad your project is moving along. wave

Nan, I don't know that it's going to be happy, but it will definitely be working. lol Have fun feeding the vampire, and hope your appointment goes well.

Haroula, it's Black Friday because it's depressing for those of us who have to work. lol Best Buy's calling it Green Friday, but their employees have a different opinion. grin (Actually, "in the black" means doing well financially, so it is closer to Best Buy's "Green Friday" than anything else.) Hope you have a terrific day.

I woke up early, so I actually had a little more time to post this morning. I kept waking up because I'm not used to going to sleep that early. crazy It is time to whoosh now, though, so see everyone later. wave

Have a great Friday, everyone. fall

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#851334 - 11/23/12 03:44 AM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: venus]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6057
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning all waveHope everyone had a great day yesterday turkeyCoffee is on I'll keep it hot!! fall
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#851342 - 11/23/12 04:33 AM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17314
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus, Nan, Haroula, and Cailyn and all who come in later. Sounds like everyone has a busy day ahead. Hope it's not to stressful! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#851353 - 11/23/12 06:04 AM Re: Black Friday Tiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14569
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a great day!

Ana, glad it's going good in the corner.

Nan, good luck at the doc appointment.

Haroula, happy day!

Venus, I think it should be called Red Friday for the customers.

Cailyn, coffee...Yes!

Gerry, have a great day!

Putting away Thanksgiving decor today. To those who are brave enough to shop today I hope you all find great bargains. Had a wonderful day with family yesterday.
_________________________
Gail

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#851362 - 11/23/12 07:33 AM Re: Black Friday Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8121
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. We had a Wonderful day yesterday with family and some of their friends. Lots of Turkey and the trimmings were consumed. turkey We have a lot to be Thankful for. Hubby is feeling good and enjoyed the day. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Friday. Danish, Blueberry Pancakes, and Turkey Sandwiches in the NC. turkey
_________________________
Connie

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#851371 - 11/23/12 08:43 AM Re: Black Friday Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9582
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
luck to anyone braving the shopping today. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#851393 - 11/23/12 10:53 AM Re: Black Friday Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7290
Loc: San Diego, CA
NOT going shopping unless it's a true emergency. So far Black Friday (or Thursday or whatever we have now) isn't that crowded. One of the newest shopping centers East of me has practically nobody there. They have all the BIG stores too, Apple, Macy's, and lots of electronics stores and all. Just no Best Buy, no Wally Mart, no K-Mart. I guess everyone is at the 'big box' stores today.

In other news: Son of Tenants who doesn't live here and visits soooo frequently from Los Angeles finally showed up after noon with his new girlfriend. I was walking down to feed my friend's/tenant's cat and SHE saw me and immediately said Hi and shook hands and seemed very very nice. I got invited to the big Thanksgiving bash, but had to decline due to my whatever it is, sore throat, cough, no voice thing. I'm sooo mad I've got something from someone. Probably one of those people coughing and sneezing all over me in Wally Mart on Monday.

But, true to form, Son was out early (7 am) washing HER car. Ugh. I figured he only washed HIS truck but it's a routine. And they wonder why I raise the rent? Some places forbid use of water for car washing (it just runs down the driveway), but I don't want to do that. Just wish tenant's would figure out that rent is tied to 'expenses' and water is one that keeps going up and up around here.

Managed to remember to take out my trash (a day late because of the holiday) but forgot to drag out the extremely heavy 'yard waste' until 7 am and then had to skip all my morning routines to get it out there before the truck (which comes very very early) passed by. Hurt my back. Waaaa. I'm wondering why my yard kid didn't come yesterday to drag out my trash like he usually does? Gonna check the arrest records for yesterday, hope he's not in there again. I really want him to shape up and I sure appreciate his help around the yard! I try to remind him of the behavior he is falling into, but I don't want to adopt all his problems. Praying for him daily.

Off to eat leftover turkey roll. Was yummy with the cranberry/cornbread stuffing. Made some gravy but never got around to mashed potatoes. Maybe today.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#851405 - 11/23/12 11:55 AM Re: Black Friday Diner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13696
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Back from doc appointment at which went well and the vampire is now full. lol New med is working great!!

Was tempted to stop and shop but on second thought......naaaaa decided to just come straight home. Nothing that I really needed to get anyway that won't be on sale again.

Had a wonderful time yesterday with the family and friends!!

Ana hope the project is moving right along!

Joe hope cwork is going well and thanks for the chuckles.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gail I suppose that once the turkey things are put away you'll have to get out the Christmas decor and put that up. lol Have a lovely day!

wave Cailyn and Gerry have a lovely day!

Connie so glad that hubby is doing well and had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Thanks for the danish!!

Space are you braving it???? Have a lovely day!

Sorta never a dull moment. Hope you are feeling better today!! HUGS!

Well my twin granddaughters turn 20 today!!! Can't belive it.....where has the time gone. lol

wave
Nan

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