I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
*The Green Thing
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested
to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery
bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this
green thing back in my earlier days."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your
generation did not care enough to save our environment
for future generations."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green
thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and
beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to
the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so
it could use the same bottles over and over. So they
really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing
back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator
in every store and office building. We walked to the
grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower
machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was
right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we
didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a
line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220
volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes
back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes
from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new
clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have
the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not
a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the
size of a handkerchief (remember them?),not a screen the
size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended
and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric
machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a
fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old
newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic
bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and
burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower
that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we
didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills
that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't
have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of
using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a
drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink
instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor
blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole
razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't
have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids
rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning
their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one
electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of
sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need
a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from
satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the
nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how
wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have
the green thing back then?
The Hotel Bill
An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago 's most expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
''But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Los Angeles , and Las Vegas performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"
The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. " But madam, this check is only made out for $50.00." '
'That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG OR CAT
I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.
When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a kennel.
When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.
I could sit on the couch and my bed the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.
I would have money, and no guilt to go on a real vacation.
I would not be on a first-name basis with 6 veterinarians, as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college.
The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, and leave it ALONE.
My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers.
I would not talk 'baby talk'. 'Eat your din din'. 'Yummy yummy for the tummy'...
My house would not look like a day care center, toys everywhere.
My pockets would not contain things like poop bags, treats and an extra leash.
I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L,, W-A-L-K,, T-R-E-A-T,,
O-U-T,, G-O,, R-I-D-E,, C-O-O-K-I-E.
I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog/cat ties them down too much.
I'd look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of dreading 'mud' season.
I would not have to answer the question
'Why do you have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an ANGEL as they will ever get.
How EMPTY my life would be!!!
Good morning everyboomer.
I hate to say this, but as far as other humans are concerned, I'm perfectly happy living alone, but if I didn't have my birdie I would feel incredibly empty.
Another day, another diner is at hand. ￼
As long as the days keep coming I'm pretty happy. ￼
It’s when they stop coming that I have the problem. If they ever stop coming I'm going to have to file a complaint with management.
If the squeeky wheel gets the oil then I should be soaked in oil cause my body is so squeeky I have to wear ear plugs all day.
As far as the diner goes, if you have any complaints at all, the buck stops with me, and then I deposit it in my account, so please keep ‘em coming.￼
Then I can say 'another day, another dollar'......or two.
Thank you! ￼
Have a happy, complaint free day everyone.