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#858796 - 12/25/12 10:35 PM Merry Wednesday
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29786
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"Sometimes, big trees grow out of acorns. I think I heard that from a squirrel."
Jerry Coleman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:

"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered - "I guess you'd be eating alone!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


These are actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes included.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries.

The boy opened a box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

"What are you doing?" his mother asked.

"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained, "so I'm looking for the seal!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was just being the Ring Bear!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy.

"What comes after six?" "Seven."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A Jack."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johhny?"

"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up,"and I've just buried him."

The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. 

Break's over, back to work until next Sunday. I can hardly contain my excitement. My feet are tingling all under.  razz12

What are you all excited about today? 

Maybe I can help you contain your excitement. I have some experience. 

All my life I've had to contain my excitement.................or, was it to hold my water?.....  think

I don't think they're the same. I'm just not so good at holding my water. 

As a matter of fact I think I'll most likely lose my water any number of times before I get up tomorrow. slapforehead

I don't even like holding my water. It's like when someone says "get a hold of yourself man!"

Every time I do that, people look at me like I belong in a psyche ward.

They're like, "We're going to leave you alone now. You look very busy." eek12

I'm like, "Yeah you'd act funny too if you were having to hold your water." mad12

Actually come to think of it, it's quite a good way to get rid of people when you want to be alone. grinch

I don't mean any of you guys obviously. wink12

Have a happy day everyone. urock

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#858797 - 12/25/12 10:56 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9152
Loc: Southern California
wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a Merry Wednesday, as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! Happy Merry Wednesday!

Still Tuesday evening for me.....

Great Christmas day. Back to work on Wednesday morning.

So.

To all abed, sleep12 To all awake, woot
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#858799 - 12/25/12 11:03 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63373
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I'm sorry your weekend is over. You have a vacation coming in January don't you?

I have a lot of food to work off so I will be at the club burning calories today. Other than a run with the dogs, I think that covers my day. It's a free day for me, so you can color me happy!

Darlene, I hope your holidays were wonderful. hearts

Have a happy day everyone!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#858811 - 12/26/12 02:16 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5226
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Well, it's time for yet another extremely early morning work whoosh. sleep12 Oops, pay no attention to that last emoticon. lol12 I'm off to finish getting ready.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone. wave12

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#858816 - 12/26/12 04:47 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: venus]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2309
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning my friends hearts

Thank you all very much for your good thoughts, prayers and Nan's Band of Angels for my Dad. kissy12 I'am so touched!!
They helped him through the night. He is still attached to a lot of machines and a hundred tubes. Fever still around 40°Celsius. Poor old man! Will keep you updated.

Weather here in Italy is like in autumn: rain, fog,temps in the 60F. We have workmen here to reinforce some more the shutters and the French doors. Next week, January 2nd, I will drive to Tuscany for a 5-days-workshop at a ceramics school (further education). After that: some more workmen for a new alarm device. Busy year ending/busy year beginning. Well, it depends of course how my Dad is doing and whether we have to drive back to Switzerland.

I'am sending sunshine in your hearts, and big bear hugs for all of you. I love my Boomer family muches!

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#858825 - 12/26/12 06:20 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16314
Loc: Marlborough USA
winter Good Morning Joe, Darlene, Gimli, Ana, and all who come in later! I hope everyone enjoys today! winter
_________________________
Gerry

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#858826 - 12/26/12 06:35 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7810
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. We had a very nice Christmas. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful day after Christmas. A trip to the bank is on the agenda for today. Danish and French Toast in the NC. winter
_________________________
Connie

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#858834 - 12/26/12 10:07 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11285
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good Merry Wednesday to everyone.

Not a nice day here.30 predicted with winds 25-30 mph. Nice wind chill. A great day to stay in.

Susie and Vince came over yesterday afternoon and ended up staying for dinner. I did a pretty good job of scrounging up something. Had plenty of hot dogs so I fixed a dish that Susie always liked when she was growing up. Split hot dogs almost all the way through. Pile mashed potatoes on top of one hot dog then layer with cheese. Place another hot dog on top. I put tooth picks into the dogs to keep them from sliding, then bake for about 15 minutes at 350. A quick meal, especially if you use mashed potato flakes. They will be over Sat. for our Christmas.

It is coffee time so guess I'll go fill up my mug that has a picture of Amber and Moxie on it. Bill's cup has Shana when she was a puppy. Gifts from Bill's sis.

Have a great day everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#858848 - 12/26/12 11:06 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Online   content
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 1889
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Merry after Christmasday all

Got home last evening and wouldn't you know my tempermental cmptr decided not to work -Well, that's it- when the weather warms up I'm getting something else even if you do mellow out like last time. So....I wiped out everything again and started over and now all essential will have to be reinstalled.

It's so cold, only up to 47 today and I can't even think about tonight. Let's hope the outdoor tomatos make it. I put 2 layers of floating row over them and the sun is waaaarm but air so cold.

Christmas at my son's and DIL's -oh so wonderful. My 2 grandaughters were there so just the 5 of us, kinda small but rewarding to see all again. I watched my son play Halo 4 and they have the biggest TV I've ever seen hooked up to a X-Box. It's so big that when Steve made mistakes I felt like jumping into the game and helping. Everybody needs one of those. It looks like a good game but only plays on X-Box

Keep warm all Safe travelling Good health all
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#858859 - 12/26/12 11:57 AM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: Yankee Clipper]
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29786
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everyone. santa

I've been cleaning on this mess I call a home. shocked

Having hard wood floors, verses carpeted, makes it impossible to ignore the dirt. lol12

I have a little time to pass before going to work.

I'm going to play URU a little. I played it for ages last night. wink12

I hope you all have a sensational day. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#858863 - 12/26/12 12:31 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41481
Loc: Alabama
Good Morning and Happy Day after Christmas wave12

Hubby and I both woke up with painful backs this morning. I wonder what we did that we don't remember?

My plan is to not move today and see if that makes it better or worse. puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#858890 - 12/26/12 02:49 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9081
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
The snow is out of control. scared

Please bring back the sun hardwall
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#858893 - 12/26/12 02:55 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13276
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Well I am still alive!!! lol12 Been playing with my new phone and getting everything set up and other things switched over and all that fun stuff and now the day is almost gone and it be time to head out with the taxi!

Joe hope work flies by for ya and thanks for the laughs.

Ana enjoy the "me" day!!! happydance12

Evelyne HUGS!!!!!

wave12 Cailyn, venus, Gerry, Connie, Darlene, Yankee, Bets. Have a lovely day!

L4l hope both of your backs feel better soonest!!! HUGS!

wave12
Nan

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#858895 - 12/26/12 03:02 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41481
Loc: Alabama
Nan, what kind of phone?
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#858904 - 12/26/12 03:55 PM Re: Merry Wednesday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 6778
Loc: San Diego, CA
Rained when it was time to do the morning walk so I decided to drag my walking partner to Wally Mart to buy some new CO alarms. New law starts Jan 1 that I have to provide them to tenants (I already do but I think the others are too old), so I bought them and will distribute on 'rent' day. Should be nice. I already bought them new smoke alarms last month. Hope they are USING them. I might have to do a bit of 'checking' to see that things are working. Hate to impose, but it's the law, and if anything happens, my insurance might not cover it.

So we get to Wally Mart assuming it will be overun with bargain hunters (after Christmas sales) and find an almost empty parking lot, and few people in the store AND NO big sales in progress. Only things on sale for 50% off was Christmas decorations. Weird.

Get home and decide it's not raining now and we walked to the local Mexican joint (just found it after 20 years of never setting foot inside) and it's GREAT food. Wow. Just a 'hole in the wall' and you order at the counter, but they bring it to your table and it's all nicely presented, hot, yummy and has a salsa bar toooo and unlimited drink dispenser. Yummm.

So we sit down and I look outside and it's pouring! We got there just in time. It's about a 10 minute walk from my house with no shelter in between. Finished eating and the sun came out right on cue. Nice.

Now hugging the heater and snuggling a cat who seems to need a snuggle buddy for the winter cold. His brother died this summer and I guess he misses the warm cuddling of another cat. Only two I had left of the indoorsies and now only one left. We keep him company and he's adjusting to being a single cat except for the cold stuff.

Off to play with my new camera. Got some awesome pics of kitties and my house. Neat.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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