A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party.
He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit.
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disabilities so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:
Sorry about the previous parcel.
Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head.
So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.
A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head and let it harden. Then stick your wooden leg up your **** and go as a toffee apple.
Time : The Most Precious Commodity