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#892727 - 06/06/13 07:49 PM TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah!
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
George Bernard Shaw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

USA Senior Health Care Solution

So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these witches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" To which she replied "Probably that I married you for your money."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE!' And they say blondes are dumb!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. For the entire time they had been married, the wife had kept a safe which the husband had never been allowed to look into. He asked her if, since they had been married so long, he could see what she had been keeping all these years. She said OK and opened the safe. In it were a pile of money totalling $10,000 and three chicken eggs. He asked her, "What are the eggs doing in there?" She said,"Well, I have to admit that I haven't been completely faithful to you. Whenever I strayed, I put an egg in the safe." He thought about it and said, "Well, I guess I can't be too upset about three eggs. But where did all the money come from?" She replied, "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.

When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'

She replied, 'A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied that there were six.

The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, 'What is it?'

The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Early to bed, early to rise morning #3 is off and crawling. woot

The best thing about it......IT'S FRIDAY!!!! dance

The next best thing, I get off at 2:00, YAHOO! woot

and

Yesterday morning we got over 2 1/2" of rain, and the creek was at flood stage when I got home. yay

My point is, hopefully Saturday or Sunday I'll be able to find some points. thumbsup

Elementally my dear Watson. sherlock

The element of rain, of course. wink

As if you needed to be told.

Happy trails everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#892729 - 06/06/13 07:53 PM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9579
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Friday Joe. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#892787 - 06/07/13 03:50 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17308
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ and all coming to the Diner this morning. Joe I hope the creek recedes so you can hunt for arrowheads. SpaceQ happy dreams. Cailyn hope all is well with you. I'm up early this morning so coffee is ready! Have a Great Day everyone! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#892789 - 06/07/13 03:53 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
not good morning yet...I'm still up working. lol

I will take that as a sign I should go to bed. sleep

Have a great day Gerry, Space and Joe. See you in a few hours.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#892792 - 06/07/13 03:56 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17308
Loc: Marlborough USA
eek Oh My Goodness Ana! It's way to late to be working! Hope you get to sleep in! sleep
_________________________
Gerry

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#892801 - 06/07/13 05:33 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7815
Loc: Greece
Goodmorning everyone.Hot,hot, hot 35C. woozy
Have all a cool day... happydance wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#892806 - 06/07/13 06:08 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8119
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. We had 5 inches of rain yesterday. Today it should be sunny and dry until late afternoon. A shopping day is in the cards. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, Omelets, and Waffles with Whipped Cream in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#892810 - 06/07/13 07:39 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14564
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you have some good head hunting tomorrow.

Space, good morning.

Ana, I hope you're sleeping in right now.

Gerry, good early morning to you.

Haroula, hope it's not too hot for you today.

Connie, that's a lot of rain. We're getting it here now.

Rainy day today. May take a trip to BJ's. Hope everyone has a wonderful start to the weekend. penguin
_________________________
Gail

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#892827 - 06/07/13 09:56 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9402
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Glad to hear you are home early today! Hope you enjoy the rest of your TGIF!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#892837 - 06/07/13 10:15 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Very very short night, but I guess 4 hours is better than nothing. See you all when I finish! Have a happy day.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#892860 - 06/07/13 11:40 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11412
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Happy day everyone.

It is going to be another beautiful day. In the 70's. Just got through taking Cory for his walk. Nice out. Been doing laundry and housecleaning this morning. I will be gone most of the day tomorrow. Carol and I are going to the Taste of Home Cooking School. Can't wait.

Been playing the new solitaire game I won. Fun.

Have a great day y'all.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#892861 - 06/07/13 11:52 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13694
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Well our sun has run away again. lol One day it shall return.

I have a very heavy heart today. Could I ask for some prayers and good thoughts and vibes for my youngest granddaughter, the one who is the mother to my two great-grandkids Abbi and Jude. Please and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Joe you must be half way through your work day and getting ready for a nice weekend off. Hope the conditions are just right for your head hunting!! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana eek praying that your project moves right along for ya and that that four hours refreshed you!! HUGS!!

Gerry thanks for getting the coffee started. Have a lovely day!

Space this it it.....the weekend is upon us, enjoy!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Connie glad the rain is over for a little while so you may get out and do some shopping. Have fun and thanks for the treats!!

Gail hope that you can run between the drops if you go out shopping. Rain equals gaming sooooo....Happy Gaming!!

Darlene may work time fly and may everything go smoothly today! Have a lovely day!

Bets enjoy the lovely weather but please could ya send some this way???? lol

Taxi night but not sure if I am going. I just might drive them and go back and pick them up when they are ready! duh

wave
Nan

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#892863 - 06/07/13 11:57 AM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42379
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll wave

Eeeek....what a morning. I've been up since 5:30 and just now am sitting down with a cup of coffee. Time for a break! :happdance:

Hubby and I got up to go run the dogs. We are always on a time schedule for these runs...so have to get up, get out, do it, get back, and get Soot out. Of course, since the boys heard us, they popped out. I sent them back to bed and told them we'd get them when we got back.

Then we discovered that my van keys were missing. eek I was sick yesterday when the boys and I got back from the store, but I was pretty sure I had hung them up. So we looked around, couldn't find them, got the spare key and took off.

Got us all to the park, around and around we went, and then back. Told the boys they could come down. Of course, that started a steady stream of "Can I do X, and Can I have that, and When can I do this?"

Finally got our morning smoothie made 2ce...Once for us and once for son and boys. Next came cooking and then cleaning up the kitchen...got everyone including the boys and the dogs fed. Cleaned up the kitchen again.

Son called on the way to work to ask me why there was plastic in his smoothie? confused Settled a few fights between the boys and talked about consequences....settled a few more and talked about consequences again and told them the next time no more talk, all consequences.

So now sitting and sipping with my headphones on listening to tv. In a bit we will go try on the clothes we got yesterday and clean their room for a bit and swap some laundry and then off to the park providing they have behaved.

Nan, sorry things are rough for your g'daughter. Always happy to send a prayer up.

Ana, hope you finish soon.

Back later puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#892904 - 06/07/13 02:42 PM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8119
Loc: winter springs fl.
Nan, prayers and hugs for you and your granddaughter on the way. hearts Back from BJ's and lunch at Denney's. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#892911 - 06/07/13 03:54 PM Re: TGIF Yeah Yeah Yeah! [Re: connie]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9579
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Does anyone have exciting weekend plans? My highlight is not setting my alarm.
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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