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#895010 - 06/16/13 11:18 PM Monday Mourning
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29944
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

I tinhk my seplcehlck jsut epoxledd. shocked
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2-pound can of coffee, And a 1-pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.

"Oy, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation soon came to Mozart, "Absolutely brilliant lovely oh, a fine fellow a genius, Mozart was."
The woman, wanting to get in on the conversation remarked, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. It was just this morning that I saw him getting on the No.20 bus going to Erdington." There was a sudden hush and all eyes were turned toward her. The husband pulled her aside and angrily barked, "We're leaving right now."

In the car on the way home the wife turned to the husband and said, "You're really mad about something aren't you?" "How could you tell? My goodness! I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No.20 bus to Erdington, huh? Everybody knows that the No.20 Bus doesn't go to Erdington!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


While out Sports Fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.

Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted: "Are there any gators around here!?"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "They ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin,'" the beachcomber replied.

"Wow," said the tourist.

The beachcomber added, "The Sharks got 'em."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

The Earth is 4 billion years old. How many Mondays is that? shocked

I think they were all squeezed into my 61 years. think yeah 61

You know what I like about Mondays? smile

I'm waiting.... duh

I was hoping someone out there could tell me. razz

Well Monday means a new week has begun, and I'm still around kicking it. thumbsup

The problem seems to be what I'm kicking, and where I'm kicking it. rolleyes

I guess maybe kicking it is better than stepping in it.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#895011 - 06/16/13 11:28 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64454
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and all! Another day of washing walls and painting here. Last one and then it's steam vac the carpets and floors. I'm getting there! yay

Have a happy day everyone!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#895028 - 06/17/13 02:56 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7483
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later. wave
Joe,Monday is not my favorite day too yes
Ana, eekIm not envious of you lol
Have all a nice day. happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#895040 - 06/17/13 04:16 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16866
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. Cailyn coffee is on. Enjoy your Monday Boomers! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#895049 - 06/17/13 05:38 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14238
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, loved the jokes this morning!

Haroula, happy day to you.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Hope Sue had a chance to sleep in.

Ana, a last day of painting sounds good.

To all who come in I'm wishing a wonderful start to the week. yay
_________________________
Gail

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#895051 - 06/17/13 06:33 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7980
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Waffles in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#895073 - 06/17/13 08:56 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 14769
Loc: Unionville
Good morning everyone wave Hope your week starts off well smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#895084 - 06/17/13 09:54 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: manxman]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9299
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Monday toooooooo yoooouuuuu!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#895113 - 06/17/13 11:37 AM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7078
Loc: San Diego, CA
After yesterday's fiasco with the sewer pump and the baby wipes incident, I'm hoping today will be nothing but boring. Good thing was last night my neighbor/friend, the other house's tenant down there came up and treated me to supper at our favorite Mexican place. Nice of him. I think he knew how stressed I was over this latest in a string of costly repairs at the same rental house.

I did a quick estimate so far this year, I have spent over 2000 bucks on just that house, replacing the water heater and repairing all the extra damage they allowed because they didn't notify me of the leak, replacing the entire kitchen faucet that they allowed massive lime deposits to build up and eat away at the metal, and twice now, fixing the sewer pump problems that they caused by putting stuff down there that didn't belong.

I've got to come up with a plausible solution to all the 'non-notification' stuff'. Nice people, but when it comes to common sense, they just don't get it. Very annoying for me as I really follow all the rules on Landlording and fix things immediately when I know things are broken. No easy answers here. I'm gonna ponder it while I check out the neighborhood. There are TWO moving vans and a car trailer with SUV on it down the block!!!!!! Gotta find out if they are moving out or if the daughter (who was staying with them during a divorce) is moving IN. Wow.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#895130 - 06/17/13 01:07 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42087
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I can still write that as long as I type very fast and am not long winded. lol

Hubby had to be at work early so no walk this morning. Instead, I rolled out and headed in to town to get a fasting blood draw. The order has been in since March. I knew I'd get around to it sooner or later. Anyway, the tech was great. I hardly felt the prick and he only needed 1 vial.

Back home to clean up the kitchen, feed me, the 2 legged boys and the 4 legged ones and attack the laundry. Yesterday, the dishwasher ran 4 times. You'd think there would be no way to have more dirty dishes this morning. I think we have poltergiest.

Dryer is running right now so hopefully, I'll be able to send the boys back home in the clothes they came in. They want to wear the brand new clothes I just bought them, but that is not happening. I won't get them back if they do.

Ana, I know you'll conquer the Spartan! thumbsup


Yankee, what is your style frittata? How was it?

Sorta, can you do regular inspections of their house so you can see what they are not reporting to you?
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#895136 - 06/17/13 01:35 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13521
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe hope the work day flies by for ya and the mowers sell. Thanks for the laughs.

Ana glad it is all sorta winding down now. We lost our sun and the heat. Wonder where it went?? Only mid 40's at least for today and windy!! Almost needed the longjohns. lol

Haroula have a lovely day!!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Gail this is it, right?? Girls out of school today? Have a lovely day!

Connie have a fun day!! Thanks for the danish!

manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly for today! Have a lovely day!

L4l sorry no park today but sounds like a busy day anyway. Surprised the 'vampire' wasn't more hungry since you made him wait. lol Glad that is over and may all be well.

Sorta I was wondering the same thing about the inspections. Might help but who knows. Hope all stays OK!!

wave
Nan

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#895141 - 06/17/13 02:12 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42087
Loc: Alabama
Nan, I was surprised too. The last time I "donated" they took 9 vials so maybe this time was just the fasting test?

I wish I could send you and Sassy some heat. It is so hot here. I need to be a reverse snow bird and leave AL for June, July, and August. When I left the house at 8 this morning it was already miserable out there. Thank God for AC. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#895145 - 06/17/13 02:36 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 7390
Loc: the dusty desert
howdy , all.
pain meds seem to be working so far ,and i've been able to sleep almost a full night for the last 4 nights - what a difference in the following day. a little energy coming back.

son is coming tonight to hang some shelves ,and get my ac in the window - finally - it's been in the high nineties here . we have swamp coolers, but i don't like that they are either on ,or off ,you can't just set a temp and leave it be like my ac unit,so it's been a pain trying to regulate the inside temp.

tomorrow is my oncology consult ,so i'll have a better idea of what to expect for the next couple of months - i think my summer plans are going to head right out the window ,but maybe not.

next door neighbor's garden is looking really good for someone who has no idea about planting - she got a lot of seedlings in the right places ,and they really took off - very colorful little cutting garden !

melodee has been an absolute goofball the past few days - very funny to watch her !she got hold of the tube from a roll of paper towels ,and has been wrestling it off and on for 2 days now - it sure looks it,lol

well , it's mom's 88th birthday today ,so i am off to see her - catch you all later ,and have a wonderful day ,everyone !

back soon !



Edited by niteowl07 (06/17/13 02:37 PM)

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#895161 - 06/17/13 03:33 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64454
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
niteowl hearts
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#895165 - 06/17/13 03:53 PM Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42087
Loc: Alabama
Niteowl, so glad the meds are working for you. I know the AC will help alot. Did you help your neighbor with her garden planning? birthday to mom puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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