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#896391 - 06/22/13 09:36 PM Sunday Soup
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29789
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.
[info][add][mail][note]Sarah Bernhardt (1844 - 1923)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fellow 1 : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the
year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not
only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he
was right about that too."

Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"

Fellow 1 : "A judge told him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dave and Bo went elk hunting every year. The forest was so thick that they had to hire a helicopter to take them in and out. At the hunt's end, Dave and Bo called up the helicopter to come and get them and the six elks they had shot.
On arrival, the helicopter pilot looked over the catch. "I can only carry half of your catch," he said. "Six elk would be too heavy for the helicopter."

"Last year the helicopter carried six elk," replied Dave. "And it was the same type of helicopter as yours and the weather conditions were exactly the same."

The pilot succumbed to persuasion and took aboard the hunters and their six elk. The helicopter could not gain height and skimmed along the tops of the trees for a mile or so, and then crashed. Fortunately no-one was hurt.
"Do you know where we are?" asked Bo.

"Yep," replied Dave, "about a hundred yards from where we crashed last year."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.

"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $5 each," says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."

"Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment."

Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"

A gentleman said, " I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."

"Very good!" ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."

"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks."

Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your mother-in-laws home?"

Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because, that would be the longest 4 weeks of my life!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.

"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.

At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.

At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.

The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"

"I did," said the centipede.

"Who stopped the rhino?"

"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.

"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"

"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.

"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.

"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Come in and grab a scoop of Sunday soup. yes

Grab two scoops. wink

You may wanna grab a bowl while you're at it. It gets messy otherwise. snicker

Don't care for soup for breakfast? Don't worry it's just cornflakes. thumbsup

Breakfast soup. grin

Rice Crispies if you prefer. yes

I'm gonna have a bowl or two of Darnitall, and then go to work. crazy

Have a happy Sunday everybody.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#896394 - 06/22/13 10:24 PM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63388
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, thanks for the chuckles!

Well, the day has arrived and it will be a long and wonderful one. Right now I am sporting a fat lip which sprouted up at the BBQ. I either got bit or had an allergic reaction, either way it came up quick and doesn't seem to go away. lol

After all the food I have eaten in the last two days it will take me weeks to get back in shape. grin

I will catch you all at some point through the day. hearts

Midgie, I hope you feel better today.

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#896397 - 06/22/13 10:53 PM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
MaG Offline
Administrator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 12/28/99
Posts: 65267
Congratulations to the bride and groom.
Hope you all have a wonderful happy memorable day.

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#896398 - 06/22/13 11:00 PM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63388
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
hearts
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#896401 - 06/22/13 11:20 PM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9085
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Sunday Boomers. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#896409 - 06/23/13 02:45 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6918
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,have a great Sunday everyone. happydance wave
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#896412 - 06/23/13 03:55 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16319
Loc: Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Ana, MaG, SpaceQ and Haroula. Joe don't work to hard. Ana congrats to the bride and groom. Hope the swollen lip is better. MaG nice to see you in the diner. SpaceQ and Haroula have a nice day. Cailyn the coffee is ready! Happy Day wished for All! summer
_________________________
Gerry

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#896419 - 06/23/13 04:19 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2309
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Boomies

You all have a happy Sunday! Busy day here: clearing the show, visiting a friend in hospital, cutting my hair (hubby will do that) and doing bookkeeping with/for my Mum. And everything with a still pounding head. Never mind. Next Thursday we will drive to Italy again and then it's "dolce far niente" for a while....

Love from Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#896420 - 06/23/13 04:26 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16319
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Evelyne. Sounds like a busy day. Hope your headache gets better. Take Care and have a nice day. wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#896422 - 06/23/13 05:23 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: Kaki's Sister]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5955
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning everyone waveGerry thanks for getting the coffee going waveAna congrats to the bride and groom! Have a great day all summer
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#896429 - 06/23/13 06:17 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7812
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, Congrats to Samantha and Tim. hearts Midge, I hope your feeling better this morning. Breakfast out after our walk. To all here, and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, BB Pancakes, Eggs, Bacon, Hash Browns, and English Muffins in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#896430 - 06/23/13 06:24 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13765
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Evelyn, Sue, Gerry, Haroula, Space, MaG,Midge and Connie and everyone who enters the Diner. Good morning.

Ana, the day has finally arrived. Hope the lip goes down.

Church this morning and Pot Luck. Wishing everyone a great day!
_________________________
Gail

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#896440 - 06/23/13 08:43 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: GBC]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9085
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Enjoy the day Ana. We are all thinking of you. Have fun. happydance
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#896465 - 06/23/13 10:32 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13280
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the chuckles. Have a nice day and may work fly!

Ana congrats to Sam and Tim!! May you all have a wonderfully lovely day and all go well. Hope the lip has gone down this morning. HUGS!!!! Have fun!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Evelyn hope the head is better. Have fun with the taking down of the exhibit!! Prayers for the Band while you and hubby travel Thursday!! HUGS!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Cailyn glad you slept in a little. Is the campground starting to get busy yet??? Or is there still school??? Have a lovely day!

Connie have a nice hike and a delish breakfast! Thanks for the danish!

Gail enjoy church and have a lovely day! Sassy is sad cause of all the rain. We don't get out and walk as much cause she don't like her feet wet. lol

Space have a lovely day!!

No plans made but will work on staying dry and on higher ground. lol


Nan

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#896470 - 06/23/13 11:05 AM Re: Sunday Soup [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11285
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

Going to be a hot one again. Texted Susie to see if she feels up to coming over for dinner. Hope she answers soon. Not doing much today. Just play it by ear and maybe just goof off.

Congrats to Sam and Tim. Have a wonderful day Ana.

A great day to everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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