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#898140 - 07/01/13 12:25 AM Moonday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32195
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
I do not want to die... until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.
Kathe Kollwitz,

That quote puts me in mind of a certain brown-eyed moderator I have the good fortune of knowing. hearts

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said, "[blip]! It's even worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"He's gonna be a politician." the father replied.

An exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the blond wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill"!

Two men are driving through London when they get pulled over by a cop.
The cop walks up and taps on the window with his stick.
The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?".
The officer answers, "You're in London son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."
The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."
The officer does a check on the driver's license, and he's O.K..
He gives the man his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him on the head with the stick. The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?"
The officer says, "Just making your wish come true."
The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"
The officer says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your friend here, "I wish that so and so would've tried that with me!"

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"

He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can't help but wonder why they are chanting "Thirteen!" over and over. Could it be that they are chugging beer? Are they perhaps taking turns beating one of the inmates? Maybe they are counting the number of patients that have leapt off of the roof thus far.

His curiosity peaks and he frantically searches for a hole in the fence so that he may see what is going on. Finally, he spots one a few feet ahead. The hole is low in the fence and he has to kneel down to peer inside.

He moves into position and peeks into the hole. As he looks in, someone inside pokes him in the eye! Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"

So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a very big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "Heeeeeeeeee's Riiiiiiiiight!"

The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"

"So?," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to the noon day Moonday diner. lol

I'm not real sure how my day will go. I'm more than just a little off. I am T total and 100% off and FREEEEEE!!!!! penguin

YaHoo! woot

I'm sure, however, it'll be a right nice 2 days. wink

My sister is off the same 2 days, but I've got that all taken care of. thumbsup

I gave her tickets to the Beatles concert in Oklahoma City on Friday. She's so excited she left tonight to stand in line. wink

Ya'll have a happy day now, ya hear? smile


Edited by gymcandy1 (07/01/13 12:27 AM)
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#898143 - 07/01/13 12:56 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75376
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
rotfl Joe! I'm so tired my first thought was that those tickets you gave your sister had to be expensive. duh lol

I do indeed like your quote and I have a whole lotta life to live. I plan on singing and dancing my way through most of it! hearts

Have a great day Joe, I am sure you are going to make the best of it.

Happy Monday all!

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#898153 - 07/01/13 02:46 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great Monday. happydance
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#898160 - 07/01/13 04:07 AM Re: Moonday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula,and all who come by later waveSlept a little later this morning yayGerry thinking of you hopeing all is well with you heartsCoffee is ready! And I'm off to the gym,Enjoy the day everyone summer
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#898161 - 07/01/13 04:09 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22796
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe good quote. Ana keep smiling! Haroula enjoy the sunshine. Cailyn thanks for the coffee. I'm hanging in there. Wishing all Boomers a great day! summer

#898170 - 07/01/13 06:02 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7740
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Time for another work whoosh. wave Have a great day, everyone. summer
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#898173 - 07/01/13 06:46 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10258
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Went to see SIL at rehab yesterday. She is doing much better now. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Monday. Ana, I hope your pup is doing better this morning. puppy Danish, Waffles, and Fruit Cups in the NC. summer

#898177 - 07/01/13 07:06 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your free time.

Ana, hope you get some relaxing time today. Hugs to the doggie with the sore paw.

Haroula, happy day!

Sue, coffee please and thank you.

Gerry, hope your day is good.

Venus, good morning!

Connie, glad SIL is doing good.

Still having crazy weather here. Never know if the sun is going to stay out or a downpour. Wish it would make up its mind so we can plan accordingly.

#898204 - 07/01/13 09:51 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47577
Loc: Alabama
wave Off to ice my legs puppy

Back in a bit.

Back...legs all iced. Boys on the way over. I will be zapping out with Keoki in a few minutes to the vet so he can get a shot. Then back home to continue my cookbook work.

Son said he is working doubles all week. I don't see how as his shoulder muscles are totally cramped and locked. Looks like he has two little mountains sitting on his shoulders. Boys will be here for 8 days.

Edited by looney4labs (07/01/13 10:40 AM)
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#898213 - 07/01/13 10:55 AM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy the day off and happy headhunting!!! Thanks for the chuckles and words of wisdom!

Aw Ana pour pup. sad Pray that his paw is better this morning. May the corner be knid to you! HUGS!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn glad you were able to sleep in some. Thanks for the coffee and have a good day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Gail the weather has been like that here too. lol Yesterday we cooked and now today Mother Nature turned on the big A/C unit and we are back to 50. lol Have a lovely day!

Connie so glad that sil is doing good. How are the ones who had the fire doing??? Prayers continue. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

venus happy happy whoooooshing!!

L4l sorry the legs are still bothering you! HUGS! Good luck at the Vet with Keoki!! Poor son, prayers the shoulders get better for him.

No plans for today.....yet!!


#898223 - 07/01/13 12:09 PM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9564
Loc: San Diego, CA
Well, once again the world has shifted to the left and things went wonky yesterday with what should have been a simple service call from our cable company. Yup. All I needed was to get channel 95 and 96 coming in. They were all snow and herringbone pattern and they switched the 'menu' for the channels to 95. Very annoying. They have always been icky but I never watched what was on those two so it didn't matter enough to have it fixed.

So I call for a tech to come out and fix it and also set up an appointment for my good neighbor, who needed the same fix. Our main cable junction is on the phone pole between our houses and when one thing goes wrong, we both get it. Dunno why. Same little box, usually the tech just hits the wrong buttons and the 4 houses attached have to do call backs.

Anyway, got the appointment, set up her's too, since it is silly to have 2 techs coming for ONE job essentially. Did that last time when they wouldn't listen to my advice.

Now to the fun part. Appointment for yesterday at 1pm-3pm. At 3:20, a big truck from the cable drove up across the street. Then he got out and proceeded to 'neaten' up his truck for 20 minutes and then drove off! Never made contact with either of us. Plus they are supposed to CALL us just before they arrive. No call, nothing.

Waited till 4pm now an hour past the time period to be here. I called cable company back and the instant messaged the guy and he said he was running late and he would be here in 20 minutes and would call in a few minutes. He never called, he never arrived, nobody ever said he wasn't coming.

At FIVE O'clock, nobody was here, nobody called and I was just about to call the company when a small van pulled up with a tiny magnetic sign from the cable company. A young guy got out, came to the door and lo and behold, HE was called in 'on an emergency' to do my stuff AND as I later found out, he wasn't even from the cable company, but actually from a 'contracted' outside firm they hire when they are busy.

So this guy comes in, looks at my Rube Goldberg setup with one main flat screen, attached with octopus cables to 3 old VCR/TV combos (my security camera tv's) and then also to my DVD and another flat screen in the bedroom. He grimaces but digs right in asking me to move some very heavy stuff so he can get under everything to reach the 'splitter' things I have all over the place.

So out goes my storage table, my BetaMax, my LaserDisc, and my table top (old diner style jukebox selector). Isn't hooked up to anything but the old chrome and button thing (with all the titles on flip cards) look great as a decoration.

He asks again and again which thing goes to what and I explain and end up helping him move the 3 little tv's so they won't fall and he cuts new coax and connects everything back where it was with NEW stuff and new splitters. He laughed when I asked if Radio Shack splitters weren't gonna work?

Then he went outside to the 'in' connectors on my eaves and changed all those and then went up the phone pole and changed all that. I have PERFECT TV reception now. Gads, never knew it could be so great. He said all my connections were old and too weak for the new signals. Hey, they are only 25 or so years old!

So now to the good part. He's supposed to now go over to my neighbor's and do the same stuff, BUT when they transferred the work order for MY house to this other company, they didn't transfer the work order for the neighbor (which was attached to MY order). Gads. Someone really dropped the ball here.

No amount of talking could persuade him or his boss (Yup, he called him and I talked to him) to do her house because they would not get paid without the work order. OHHHHHH! BUT the boss (after I said I was going to call the cable company and it wasn't going to be pretty) gave me my tech's name, employee number, the contracted company's phone and this boss's name too. Was a very nice guy. AND I told him this tech (who was awesome) needed a raise. We all laughed. Actually this kid knew more than anyone I'd ever had here. Wow.

So I called the original cable and set up an appointment for this morning 8-10am with hopefully this guy I had. I'm going to be VERY VERY unhappy if it's someone else who knows nothing about anything as is usually the case.

Can't believe that one little glitch has kept me occupied since 1 pm yesterday and my neighbor too. Praying that Kendall (know his name now) shows up and we are all happy campers. OH and Kendall, the whiz kid, just moved here from Texas and is living in a Motel! I'd move him in here in a second if I had an empty rental. He's really exceptional when it comes to customer service and fixing complicated problems like mine AND doing extra stuff to make it right. Nobody ever does that. He did a great job on a hot day with a lot of confusing stuff.

Oh did I mention that all the work he did took only 1 1/2 hours? Big job, lots of stuff and I think he stalled a bit just to see if maybe his boss would authorize the other 'work order'. Didn't happen, but I'm hopeful.

Fingers crossed.
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

#898230 - 07/01/13 01:24 PM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47577
Loc: Alabama
Back from the vet. Going for the next one on Friday morning.

Nan, did you send this weather to us? If you did, thanks!

Sorta, keep that guy. Make cookies for him...then maybe he'll make sure to get all your calls.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#898249 - 07/01/13 02:49 PM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13558
Loc: Palouse country
Mornin'. Going to be a hot one; not quite noon and the temp is already 96.

Wishing all a great a safe start to the holiday week.
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

#898250 - 07/01/13 02:54 PM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47577
Loc: Alabama
Eeek Trippy, that is hot, especially for you guys!
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#898258 - 07/01/13 03:42 PM Re: Moonday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers.
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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