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#900149 - 07/09/13 11:44 PM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
My dreams were all my own; I accounted for them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed - my dearest pleasure when free.
Mary Shelly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the same bandit had robbed the bank 3 times successively.

"Did you notice anything special about the man? I mean, did he ever change his appearance?" asks the agent.

"Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Scotish man was at a baseball game.

It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the mound, he took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run."

This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scotish man was now exited and ready to get into the game.

The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotchman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run man, rrrun!"

Everyone around him started laughing. So the Scotchman, extremely embarrased, sat back down. A friendly fan, seeing the Scotchman's embarassment, lened over and said, "He can't run - he got four balls."

The Scotchman then stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, man...walk with pride!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man walks into a doctors office. He says, "Doctor, I'm suffering from silent gas emissions. All day at work, I have these silent gas emissions. Last night during a movie, I had 10 silent gas emissions. This morning in the car on the way to your office, I had five silent gas emissions. And while waiting in your waiting room I had three silent gas emissions. Right now, as a matter of fact, I've just had two more."
The doctor replied, "Well, the first thing we're going to do is check is your hearing!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. They were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish - the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe

A Chinese waiter, only one year in New York, came up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asked them if everything was okay and if they were enjoying the holiday.

The Jewish men were dumbfounded. Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish they both thought. After they paid the bill they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend of theirs, Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish

The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said... Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On one sunny afternoon in a farm there are three bulls - elder, middle-aged, and a young - talking to each other about a new bull moving-in to their farm.

"I'm here in this farm for more than 50 years now. And I earned my rights to have 50 cows during the years. I'm not sharing one of my cows with that new bull coming-in." grumbled by the elder bull.

"I've been here for 30 years and I earned my rights to own 30 cows and I don't neither desire to give any of my cows with that new bull." growled the middle-aged bull.

"I only been here for 10 years and I know I earned my 10 cows as much as you guys do. I will not give even a single of my cow." says the young bull.

Suddenly, a huge steel-container truck came by. Inside is the new bull they are discussing about. It's the biggest son-of-another-bull they've ever seen in their whole life. Every step it took shake the whole ground.

"Well, I've been here for quite some time now. It doesn't hurt a bit to give some of my cows with our new guy." exclaimed by the elder bull.

"I'm a friendly bull, perhaps I can give some of my cows with our guy for a welcome present." told by the middle-aged bull.

The young bull was shaking his horns, puffing, and all as if ready for some deadly fight.

The elder bull said, "My son, let me give you quick advice, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

The young bull replies "Heck, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

rolleyes That's a lotta bull! razz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Happy Hump Day to you.
Happy Hump Day 2 u.
Happy Hump Day dear Boomers.
Happy Hump Day to yew.

and many more.... dance

Now how can that not put a smile on your face? grin



smile


I KNEW IT!! I can hear you all smiling. yay

You're very noisy smilers.



Or, are you laughing at my singing??? headscratch


Have a happy day everyone.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (07/09/13 11:54 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#900159 - 07/10/13 02:05 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7815
Loc: Greece
Good morning Boomers,have all a great day. wave happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#900162 - 07/10/13 03:11 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6056
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all you sleepy heads waveCoffee is ready wishing everyone a happy day! summer
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#900166 - 07/10/13 05:03 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: cailyn]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning...

Joe: you definitely put a smile on my face! Thank you. Your singing was ok by the way... kissy

Haroula and Cailyn: good morning early birds wave

And good morning to everybody coming in after me. Yummy breakfast in the corner. Who put it there? Well, thanks, whoever brought it. Hear me crunching on the muesli? whistle...

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#900167 - 07/10/13 05:11 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17308
Loc: Marlborough USA
grin Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Sue, and Gimli. Hope everyone has a "smiley" day! grin
_________________________
Gerry

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#900174 - 07/10/13 06:14 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8119
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Hump Day. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, French Toast, and Waffles in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#900176 - 07/10/13 06:20 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17308
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Connie. Waffles sound good! I'm hungry this morning. wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#900179 - 07/10/13 06:50 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14564
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, I'm smiling out loud.

Haroula, happy day to you.

Sue, coffee sounds great this morning.

Evelyn, wishing you a wonderful day!

Gerry, good morning.

Connie, thanks for the Danish to go with my coffee.

Good day to All. Family Night at church tonight. yay
_________________________
Gail

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#900218 - 07/10/13 09:59 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9402
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! And we love your singing! kissy Have a happy Hump Day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#900233 - 07/10/13 10:44 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42379
Loc: Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

We saw the sun happydance It's been awhile since it has peeped out at us. Hubby and I and the doggies got to the park for a short walk as Soot had to be at work early this morning.

Then home for a quick change and Soot took off.

Son just left for work. Housecleaning will happen at some point today. But first some recipe research. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#900234 - 07/10/13 10:44 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65221
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Off to a vet appt to get Merlins meds and nail trims. Then to the river to make them happy. Peter came home last night so I want to spend a bit of time with him as well. See you all in a bit!

Have a happy day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#900242 - 07/10/13 11:38 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13694
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe happy hump day to you also!!! Only three after today!! May work fly and those mowers sell. Thanks for the chuckles.

Haroula did you have a beautiful day at the beach yesterday?? Have a lovely day!

Cailyn up early again I see. Hope you can find some time for a nap. Have a lovely day!

Evelyne glad the net is being cooperative for you cause it is always good to see you posting. Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail sounds like an enjoyable evening plan for you, enjoy!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

L4l glad you were able to a walk in even though it was a little short. Happy cleaning!! Here's some help

Ana good luck at the Vet! Have a lovely run with the dogs and a nice visit with Peter!!

No plans till taxi time.

wave
Nan

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#900256 - 07/10/13 12:23 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7287
Loc: San Diego, CA
Overcast again. Quiet outside. Weird.

Neighbor across the street is acting strange. Usually he says a big smiley HI when we go on our morning walk. Last two times, he's hardly noticed or responded. First time I just thought he might have hearing problems as his back was turned. Yesterday, I said it twice, he turned around and briefly said hi and then looked as if he didn't want to chat at all. Usually he comes to the fence and talks. I'm 'thinking' this may have something to do with the police coming to his house a week or so ago when he had a party and was setting off 'M80's' in his back yard.

Wasn't me who called the cops but maybe, just maybe, after this other guy referred to me as 'the neighborhood cop' that my neighbor thinks it was me who got the police involved that night. Dunno. I'm giving it a few more tries when I see him. He might have just been distracted or very busy or angry at something. He's been out of work since early this year. It must be getting to him big time. Hope it's not a 'you turned me in' type deal or I'll have to clear that up. Don't want a close neighbor thinking I'm watching his every move. scared
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#900257 - 07/10/13 12:25 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5505
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Just doing a quick stop-by before I forget. smile I'm off today, but I have to go out and get my oil changed, as I'm driving my car a distance to meet my friend tomorrow. So I have to get that done and practice singing before Thorsgoats gets home. Then, if I'm lucky I can squeeze some gaming in later. grin

Hope everyone here is having a great Wednesday. summer

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#900260 - 07/10/13 12:29 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Good Morning Boomers!! Just a fast hello and goodbye. My Mum gave us a bit of a scare yesterday and we were in the ER for part of the morning. Hopefully she will be okay. Doc gave her a prescription and called it a GI bleed...I was a wreck. Trying to get bedroom done today as the headboard finally arrived. Off I go. have a great day everyone and Happy Gaming!!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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