Oh goodness, Yankee, your feeding stories are hysterical. You are much nicer than I.
I too stopped making bread...used to make a loaf a day so the kids would smell it as they came in the door. I stopped for a long while but boy am I having fun doing it again. And the best part is, I can pronounce everything in it.
If you have a heavy stand mixer, it can knead for you. And I just ran across a loaf that you only knead for 2 seconds. If I can find it again, I'll send the recipe to you.
Now what I need to do is experiment with freezing the dough after the first rise. I never had to worry about too much bread when the gang were all here, but with some recipes making 3 or 4 loaves, I want to have the freedom to make them without wasting.