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#924773 - 11/16/13 02:26 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29783
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I hate to waste good material. wave

Better late than never, right? thumbsup


Women are as old as they feel - and men are old when they lose their feelings.
Mae West
~~~~~~~~~~

A clever attorney was convinced he found a way to take all of his riches with him when he died. When he finally became ill and saw that death was imminent, he instructed his wife to sell all of his investments and buy gold coins with the proceeds. She was instructed to place the gold in several bags with handles and place them in the attic directly over his bedroom. His plan was that when he died, his soul would rise up out of his body and ascend to heaven. As he passed through the attic, he would grab the bags of gold and take them with him.

Days later he finally died and the next day his wife went to the attic to see if the gold was gone, but found it was all still there. "The [blip] fool," she said to herself. "I told him we should have placed the bags in the basement."

Moral: We're not going to be able to take it with us when we go. Even if we're so clever as to place half our riches in the attic and half in the basement, they'll probably take us out the side door!
~~~~~~~~~~~


A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.

A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell. By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergymans sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he too could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.

By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire $25,000."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?"
A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."

"And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching."

"No, we came to make sure he was dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two five-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Adam," replied the second.

"My daddy is a doctor. What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Joshua.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Four doctors who hadn’t seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they turned their conversation to who makes the best surgical patients:
The first said, for sure, electrical engineers. “You open ‘em up,” he contended, “and everything is color-coded.”

“Nah,” said the second. “It’s librarians. You open ‘em up and everything is alphabetized.”

The third scoffed. “Of course not,” he said. “It’s accountants. You open ‘em up and everything is numbered.”

“Lawyers,” said the fourth, with a shake of his head. “It’s lawyers, you idiots! No heart, no guts, no spine, and the a-- and the brain are interchangeable.”
~~~~~~~~

A priest, a doctor, and a lawyer were waiting one morning on a particularly slow group of golfers.
"What's wrong with these guys?" fumed the lawyer. "We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

"I don't know," said the doctor, "but I've never seen such

ineptitude!"

"Here comes the greenskeeper," said the priest. "Let's have a word with him. Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow. aren't they?"

"Oh, yes," said George, "That's the group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight while saving our club last year. We let them play here anytime free of charge!"

Everyone was silent for a moment.

Then the priest said, "That's so sad, I think I'll say a prayer for them tonight."

"And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there is anything he can do for them," the doctor added.

"Why can't these guys play at night?" asked the lawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~

A lawyer and two friends--a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man--had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.

The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," chimed the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening." With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.

Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I just can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong?" the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, "I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn. In my country cows are considered sacred and I can't sleep on holy ground!"

That left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

Gameboomers is down, for a while, but never fear. I'm writing this diner as an email, and I'll email it to everyone of you if GB is not back up soon.

I wonder if there is a directory assistance for email addresses.

"Operator I need the email address for a Sorta Blonde, somewhere in California."

"No it's not Sorta Blonde 1."

"Not Sorta Blonde One either."

"Not Sorta Blonde ABC."

"Not Sorta Blonde 123."

"No it's not Sorta Bland....very funny operator."

This could take a while. The site may be back up buy the time I get all these emails emailed.

We may be past "Welcome to the weekend" and looking at "Monday Mourning" before then.

I know it's past 11:00pm and past my bed time now.

It's ok cause "After midnight we gonna let it all hang down."

"YOOO HOOO Gameboomers!!"

"Can MaG come out and play??"

"Hello...Anybody home?"

It's not Halloween, so at least I know Ana's home.

The trouble is Ana doesn't have a website.

Now I'm just rambling.

I'm just a rambling, gambling man.

Good night everybody.

Have a happy day.

joe


How am I only going to get 8 smileys in that?


Edited by gymcandy1 (11/16/13 02:28 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#924774 - 11/16/13 02:29 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6896
Loc: Greece
eekThat was a long time...
Anyway I m glad that (you are back)! bravo
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#924777 - 11/16/13 02:32 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Haroula]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29783
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning Haroula. Where ya been? lol

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#924781 - 11/16/13 02:40 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13272
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Guess I can start the day now, about time. That was kind of a long time but at least once up and running I could get here this time. lol

Haroula it must almost be bed time there. lol Hope you had a good day and a nice walk!

Joe thank you for the great funnys!!! lol

wave
Nan

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#924782 - 11/16/13 02:43 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63347
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
So happy to see the diner and you all! woot

I am about to head out the door to have lunch with Peter. He is taking me to Season's 52. Love that place! It's a rainy, howling wind kind of day. Lotus, you would not like it! lol

Have an awesome day and see you in a few! hearts
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#924787 - 11/16/13 02:55 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29783
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Hello Nan. Hope you have a nice sunny warm day up there. wink

Ana enjoy your lunch with Peter. kissy

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#924793 - 11/16/13 03:04 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6896
Loc: Greece
Nan lolyou are right its 10p.m
Its was a rainy chilly day so no walk today. smile wave
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#924795 - 11/16/13 03:04 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9145
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and glad to see the Diner opened!

Howdy, sweet 'Boomies!

Kind of chilly and light drizzle here today...

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#924811 - 11/16/13 03:46 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41474
Loc: Alabama
Icky gray and weeepy here....yuk yuk...

Bread is rising on the stove, dishwasher is running, boys are waiting in their beds (sortof) for me to get them up. I went up to get them but they were not in their own beds where they were told to be, so I told them to get in there and I'd try again in a few minutes lol

What they don't realize is that I can hear them from the den as their bedroom is kind of over my head. puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#924819 - 11/16/13 04:06 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7808
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good afternoon everyone. I sure missed my Diner fix this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday evening. Pizza, Burgers, Fries, Chef Salad, and Chicken Noodle Soup ion the NC. fall
_________________________
Connie

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#924822 - 11/16/13 04:15 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: connie]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9071
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#924828 - 11/16/13 04:33 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6896
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#924834 - 11/16/13 05:03 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13757
Loc: Massachusetts
Hello Boomers,

Yay! Everybody is back. I had to drink my morning coffee alone. sad

Now I'm happy and can wish everyone a wonderful day. rah
_________________________
Gail

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#924859 - 11/16/13 06:32 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 13897
Loc: Unionville
Hi boomers wave Hope everyone is having a super saturday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#924878 - 11/16/13 08:46 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41474
Loc: Alabama
All right...time for bed. Sweet dreams all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#924880 - 11/16/13 08:55 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63347
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
You feeling okay L4L? It's an early night for you.

Hi all! Fantastic afternoon with Peter, his friend and his friends mom. It's always fun seeing him.

I hope you all had a wonderful day too!

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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