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#943437 - 03/06/14 12:15 AM Thursdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30159
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.
Thomas Sowell (1930 - ), Creators Syndicate
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe asks his wife, Karen, what she wants for their 40th wedding anniversary.

"Would you like a new Mink coat?" he asks.

"Not really," says Karen.

"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says Joe.

"No," she responds.

"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.

She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."

"Well, what would you like for your anniversary?" Joe asks.

"Joe, I'd like a divorce," answers Karen.

"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says Joe.
~~~~~~~~

Three old men are at the doctor's office for a memory test.

The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"

"274," was his reply.

The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday" replies the second man.

The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?

"Nine" says the third man.

"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?

"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
~~~~~~~~~~

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the century.

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A San Diego patrolman pulled over a driver and told him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5000 in a safety competition. "what are you going to do with the money? "the officer asked.

"I guess I"ll go to driving school and get my license, " the man answered.

"Don't listen to him," said the woman in the passenger seat. "he's a smart-alec when he is drunk."

This woke up the man in the back seat, who saw the cop and said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

Then there was a knock from the trunk, and a voice asked in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"
~~~~~~~~

State Mottos
Alabama:
At Least We're not Mississippi

Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

Arizona:
Dehyd-rific!

Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California:
As Seen on TV

Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Delaware:
(this was left blank--does this mean Delaware is too small to have a
motto?)

Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia:
We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois:
Gateway to Iowa

Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa:
Land of James T. Kirk

Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine:
Cheap Lobster

Maryland:
A Thinking Man's Delaware

Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota:
For Sale

Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else

Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:
Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:
You Want a #$@%#!@ Motto? I Got Yer #$@%#!@ Motto Right Here!

New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota:
Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!

Ohio:
Don't Judge Us by Cleveland

Oklahoma:
Like the Play...Only No Singing

Oregon:
Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:
Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:
The Educashun State

Texas:
Se Hablo Ingles

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:
Yep

Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family -- Really!

Wisconsin:
Come Cut Our Cheese

Wyoming:
Wynot?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Jo Jo the bulldog faced monky boy here.

It's the weekend/day two, and it is supposed to be warmer, and we are getting rain now from a storm that's passing through rather rapidly. yay

I'm hoping it slows down long enough to leave at least 3 feet of water.

Did you see the news about the new Russel Crowe movie. It's about Noah. It looks good, and I'm curious to see how it will end. snicker

You know how Hollywood likes to rewrite history. slapforehead

I hope when they do a movie about my life story, they'll make me an only child. oops


Did I say that out loud??

I didn't mean it...... shame

I have 5 brothers and sisters, and about 200 nieces and nephews, and grand nieces and grand nephews that would not be happy about that.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe



Edited by gymcandy1 (03/06/14 12:18 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#943438 - 03/06/14 01:56 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8113
Loc: Greece
Happy day Joe and all. happydance wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#943448 - 03/06/14 04:20 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6098
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula waveWe got another inch of snow yesterday and it's snow flurring now woozy I've really had enough of this stuff already winterCoffee is on wishing you all a great day! shiver
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#943450 - 03/06/14 04:59 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17632
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe your are to funny. Haroula have a great day. Sorry you are getting snow Sue. We were lucky and just had a cloudy day. Tomorrow it's suppose to get up in the 40s! I hope the suns suns for you today. Happy Day wished for everyone! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#943456 - 03/06/14 06:35 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8203
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish and Waffles in the NC. lab
_________________________
Connie

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#943457 - 03/06/14 06:45 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14789
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope your rain goes by quickly.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Sue, we got an inch of snow also. An inch too many. Can't get rid of what we already have. winter

Gerry, have a great day.

Connie, Danish sounds wonderful with my coffee.

Grocery shopping on the agenda today. I don't think we're ever going to get rid of this snow. I haven't seen the grass since the Fall. thumbsdown
_________________________
Gail

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#943482 - 03/06/14 08:52 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15742
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope you all are having a great day today smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#943492 - 03/06/14 09:52 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42647
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Icky, gray, rainy, cold day. Temps are supposed to be dropping all day. I have a doctor's appointment in a bit. Going to finally see the derm and hoepfully find out what this weird rash on my face is, and how to prevent or get rid of it.

Soot and I have Bible Studay tonight and I'll stop and run a couple of errands on my way back from the docs so today will busy. wave

Hugs to all puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943495 - 03/06/14 10:01 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: looney4labs]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9481
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your day off and have a great Thursdiner!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#943503 - 03/06/14 10:47 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13808
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe may your day off go just as you plan it!! Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Aw Sue sorrow about more snow. Hope the sun comes out and melts it away!! Thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Oh Connie a danish sounds delish!! Thank you!! Hugs and have a lovely day!

Gail I know I haven't seen any grass since last fall either, but I would NOT want it all to melt at once cause then I might float away! lol Have a fun time grocery shopping and have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day and stay warm.

L4l good luck with the doc appointment!! Enjoy Bible study tonight and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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#943507 - 03/06/14 11:15 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65800
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I'm off to class and then I will run the dogs. After that it's back to work for me. Ended one project and starting another. Life is good. hearts

Have a happy day all!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943511 - 03/06/14 11:59 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42647
Loc: Alabama
Have fun, Ana puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943522 - 03/06/14 01:34 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7419
Loc: San Diego, CA
The most excitement I'm going to have today is watching the trash trucks collect my trash. One down, one to go.

BUT last night, well actually early this morning at 2:15 am, screaming gal outside right near my driveway. I got up to look out and saw a teen girl, being 'escorted' into a SUV by 2 or more guys. The girl was intermittently screaming and laughing. Drunk drunk drunk. The SUV is one that is frequently visiting 2 houses down. Guess they all partied a bit too much. Was scary for a moment. I've never heard so many car doors slamming. She got 'put' in, and then would get out over and over. Finally one of the guys called 'her sister' and another car came and they loaded her into that one. She was still laughing and screaming loudly when the sister carted her off. What a mess. Glad it was some group that I have seen a bunch or I'd have called 911. Luckily she didn't decide to trek up my driveway, but she did sit on the curb out front for a few minutes as the guys tried to convince her to get in the SUV. Glad they took care of her, but scary anyway until I figured it all out. Whew.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#943532 - 03/06/14 03:17 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42647
Loc: Alabama
Eeek Sorta, sounds scary indeed!

I've bopped out and back in the rain. Have a rash of scripts for hubby to pick up. Now I'm trying to warm up and convince the dogs, that "Yes, it is still raining!"

wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943533 - 03/06/14 03:30 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9724
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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