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#943559 - 03/06/14 07:54 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32196
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
History is more or less bunk. It's tradition. We don't want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker's dam is the history we made today.
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947), Interview in Chicago Tribune, May 25th, 1916

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.

Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?

Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy Birthday!!!

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a Halloween
party, and I want to go as Adam."

The girl brings out a fig leaf.

But he says, "Not big enough!"

So she brings out a bigger one.

"Still not big enough!"

So she brings out a HUGE fig leaf.

"Still not big enough!" he proudly tells her.

So she says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your
shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

Not To Be Heard During Surgery

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "[blip], there go the lights again...."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

A Dinner Conversation That Went Wrong

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - - silence - - -
HUSBAND: "Sh!!!."

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I don't have my calender with me, but I know that today is the day after yesterday, so I'll go on the assumption that this is yesterday's tomorrow.......bleak as it is. smirk

I say that because one person's trash is another person's treasure, and the rest of the world's weekend, is my ball & chain, back to the salt mine, end of the world. sad

Ah but it's a three day week for me. Then while the rest of the world goes back to work, I'll be surf & turfing on the sands of Waikiki. yay

Ok on the sands of our creek. razz

The point is I'll be on a nuther weekend. wink

Don't anyone mention being retired, and never going back to work at all, or I just might have to take you off my Christmas card list, and send my sister to spend a month with you. wink

So smile, and have a happy end of the world everyone. grin

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#943562 - 03/06/14 08:40 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75379
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, glad it's a short work week for you. yay I hope that the rains unearthed more points for you.

I'm not sure what today will bring yet. I am trying to sell my concert tickets for tonight and if I do hubby and will just go out for dinner. Otherwise we are heading to the city at night.
The rest of the day I'll be working and will run the dogs. It will be 40 degrees and I have to go in that!

Have a happy Friday everyone! hearts

birthday Connie! cake in the corner for you.
Don't feed the Trolls

#943563 - 03/06/14 08:45 PM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Friday Joe and Ana. thumbsup
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#943564 - 03/06/14 08:50 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75379
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
You too SpaceQ! Hope all is well by you!

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#943582 - 03/06/14 11:13 PM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
manxman Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 21412
Loc: Unionville
Good morning Joe, Ana, SQF and boomers to follow. wave Hope everyone has a fantastic Friday smile
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

#943585 - 03/06/14 11:27 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75379
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Have a great day manxman!
Don't feed the Trolls

#943595 - 03/07/14 02:25 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe, Ana, SQF, manxmam and all who come in later. wave
Connie birthday flowers
Have all a great Friday. happydance smile
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#943603 - 03/07/14 04:55 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22799
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, manxman and Haroula. Coffee is ready. Have a wonderful day everyone! wave birthday Happy Birthday Connie! birthday

#943612 - 03/07/14 06:02 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your day and your short week.

Ana, have fun either way for the night.

Space, good morning.

Haroula, happy day!

Manxman, good day to yoy.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, birthday

Going to bundle up and walk the dogs this morning. shiver
Good day to All!

#943616 - 03/07/14 06:06 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7742
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Just a quick post today, as I'm off for yet another work whoosh. Hope all of you have a terrific Friday. winter
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#943641 - 03/07/14 09:59 AM Re: TGIF [Re: venus]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10371
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

birthday Connie! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#943647 - 03/07/14 10:40 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Aw day!!! lol May work time fly and go well. Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!!

Ana sounds like a lovely evening either way!! Good luck with the selling of the tickets though. Have a fun run with the dogs. How is Merlin doing these days?? May the corner be kind and you have a lovely day!

Space the weekend is upon us!! May work fly for you today so you can get started on a great weekensd!! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Haroula is Jr learning lots of things in school?? Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Gail you can do it. lol Enjoy the walk with the dogs. It usually isn't bad out there if the wind isn't blowing. Have a lovely day!

venus happy working!!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

birthday Connie!!! HUGS!

No plans till taxi time and then work fish fry!!


#943650 - 03/07/14 10:56 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47581
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll

I see some sun and some blue out there, so mayhap the doggies and I will make it to the park between pick-up-boy runs.

I've been on the phone this morning trying to finish up some business. Hubby brought home new meds for me last night. Well, the amount of pills the pharmacy dispensed is 2 weeks short of sufficent to get me to my next lab check, and no refills. So started the silly business of trying to get the doctor and the pharmacy on the same page. rotfl

Ana, luck on selling those tickets. Enjoy your dinner either way.

Nan, do you get to eat at the fish fry? Stay warm wave

Darlene, happy skooshing.

Venus, happy whooshing!

Gail, enjoy the walk.

Gerry, wave

Haroula, do you have weekend plans?

Manx, anything fun on the docket?

Space, welcome to the weekend.

Joe, enjoy your short week.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#943656 - 03/07/14 11:54 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75379
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! A beautiful day out today. It's like summer out there!! 35 degrees and sunny. If you can ignore the 4 foot high piles of snow everywhere and pretend the white cover is green, it's awesome! rotfl

I sold my tickets in 5 minutes last night. lol The band I had tickets to was featured on American Idol last evening and the venue was sold out so they were scooped right up. yay Good timing!

Haroula, anything special planned for the weekend?

Gerry, have a happy day!

Gail, warmer air will be heading your way soon!

venus, hope work goes by quickly.

Darlene, happy Friday!

Nan, Merlin is doing as well as he can. lol He is at least building up his stamina a bit each day. We will see how well he does when the snow and ice is gone. I am hoping it won't be so hard on him.
I hope you have a warmer day today again! yay How are you doing?

Edit: L4L, just goes to show you how long it took me to finish my post. I missed you! rotfl
I hope you can get the dogs out and get your meds in order. hearts

Edited by BrownEyedTigre (03/07/14 11:55 AM)
Don't feed the Trolls

#943659 - 03/07/14 11:57 AM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great weekend Ana. yay lab
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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